Time to make the donuts

hmm maybe the…sandwiches…hors d’oeurves, cookies, you know. All those things for the party! Next two days are going to be CRAZY BUSY so I’m taking a break to cook and decorate and throw a party! This is my kitchen currently. #downtherabbithole

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You should see the rest of my house.

Boxes boxes everywhere. It’s insane.

I’m walking Malachi this morning and making a goal to get 10,000 steps and hopefully on Sunday I can start fresh with running.

I’ll see you guys Monday morning!  Have a great weekend!

Run on…and have a great weekend. Keep moving!

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I have trust issues.

Does anyone else have this problem?

It is totally and completely the reason for my control issues.

Oh, did I mention I have control issues?

 

 

One totally feeds the other.

I’ve had a really really good life but no one is immune, right? So I’ve had my share of people in my life that really showed me they didn’t care about me. With their actions and their words I was left time and again until I finally learned the hard way that I just can’t trust them.

Well, fool me once. I had to be taught THAT lesson a few times. Now I have it DOWN.

Now I don’t trust anyone. I’m still kind and generous. I think that’s a fair statement to say about me but if I let you in and ask you for help I won’t be surprised if you don’t. And if you say you are and you don’t, it’s okay I wasn’t really planning on it anyway. Because…trust.

So now I’m planning the event on Saturday and I have six people lined up to help out. And in my heart I know I’ll have people there but I’m also planning on how I can get it all done with just Sean and I because…trust.

And I’ll say a blessing for Sean because he’s always there when I sign up to do these wild ass things. He’s always there.

~~~~~

I took Malachi for a walk and let me tell you THAT was stimulating exercise. I’m so over this cold already. And I know I’m lucky because Sean got it so much worse but I cannot stand being stuck just sitting around not doing anything.

So I got about 8,000 steps in and hey, that’s not bad considering how tired I am but I really was hoping for the full 10,000.

~~~~~

My doctor called back about my high thyroid number and seems very VERY unimpressed with how awful I feel. So I’m going to continue to work on it until I see her in July and make a decision then with new labs. Meanwhile, I have a hotline into a new ENT and I will move in a heartbeat if my doctor isn’t helping me.

Be your own advocate.

~~~~

After Elle.com posted this cartoonGluten Dude ripped them apart on his blog. And rightfully so.  Enough people threw a HUGE fit that Elle removed the cartoon from Facebook and Instagram within a few hours. It’s a little peeving though that Elle can’t step up and put an apology out. Tasteless…very tasteless.

~~~~~

Run on.  Or walk on. Or just move so you don’t lose your mind. 

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We painted the town Red.

  • As I mentioned before, I got Sean’s cold and it comes with a bit of a cough so I’m not running because it doesn’t allow breathing. I’m getting better it just doesn’t show in my face apparently. Sadly.
    "What is wrong with YOUR face?!" Amy Squirrel, Bad Teacher
  • My dark circles invited the circus to town. My dark circles have dark circles. And oh my little face is puffy. NEED WATER.
  • I’m going to walk the puppy this morning to get out of the house and get some much needed Vitamin D. Perhaps that will save me from scaring people today. I make no promises.
  • Neither of us felt great yesterday. Not bad, just tired. so we got takeout and ate our food while we watched TV and then I  crashed hard (thank you funky reaction to Mucinex). It was a wild party on our anniversary, let me tell you. We painted red for sure.
  • We really do want to celebrate but we just aren’t up to it this week. Too much going on and neither of us is healthy.
  • I passed a business truck in Wyoming that advertised it was a body shop named Autocorrect.
  • I read a FB post this morning about someone (a young someone) questioning ~but how do we know Bill Cosby actually assaulted these women? The young teens responding figure it’s all about the money. sigh.
  • I opened my email to search for something and as I scrolled my mind went to the twenty other things I have to do today. I noticed this email (oh, I have to do that) and that email (did so and so ever call her?) and by the time I got to the bottom I had forgotten what email I was looking for. No clue. Blank.
    stephen colbert old colbert taxes im old
  • I just found a sticky note on the fridge that started with “honey” and in my mentally disturbed state I thought my sweet husband had written me a little note.  Little being the operative word. No. It’s the world’s smallest grocery list. Honey, lemons, crackers….on the tiniest sticky you’ve ever seen.  It must be True Love.  Although I looked on Disney’s 15 Signs it’s True Love and that was not listed. Hmmm.
     source
  • I went to carcomplaints.com to look something up about my Jeep and I’ve been there for an hour. It’s the black hole of car complaints. I’m not even reading about my own car anymore. It’s just fascinating to read about how cars are falling apart as you’re driving them, as they’re parked, whatever. Just fallin’ apart.

    I checked and there’s no recall for that. Sad day for that guy. 😉

~~~~~

This is true for so many things.
Run on…

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This is my fairy tale.

There’s more history than you need to know.

Like weeks before I met him I had a  moment of “knowing” that I would marry someone named Sean and he would be in the Air Force. I just thought…huh, that’s an odd thought. And brushed it aside.

But then I met him and meeting him was really all it took. That’s it. Just an introduction. I shook his hand and he smiled at me and I said, “you have the most beautiful brown eyes I’ve ever seen”.

And I knew.

seanearly
Okay, so you can’t see his eyes, but trust me.
Seanandmt
see?

I know you think there’s no possible way to know like that, but I did. I knew.

I loved him before I knew him.

And he blushed. He said his grandmother was the only person to ever tell him that. I found that so hard to believe.

And four days later, countless hours together, I thought he was going to tell me he didn’t want to see me anymore. And instead…he asked me to marry him.

This was in June.

We married in May the following year.
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Today it’s been thirty years. 

Nothing about it feels like thirty years. Nothing.

Thirty years of being with someone who makes me laugh every.single.day.

Thirty years of moving across the world, kids bringing us challenges we never imagined, money~not having it, having it~growing older together.

Being together.

This isn’t Cinderella and Prince Charming. This is real life with real choices made by two very young people who somehow connected and felt like they belonged together. And against all the odds and against the better judgement of a lot of people in their lives they said~we’re going to do this.

Saved by Grace.

Grace brought me Sean.

We aren’t perfect.

But we are really really good.

What  a gift. 

 

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We all have a story. What’s your story?

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I’m covering baby goats, meditation and porn. Not together.

Wyoming hates me.

  • Pretty sure it’s because I use it and cast it aside. I drive through it but I don’t stop to appreciate all it has to offer. I’m using it to get from one state to the other. So whenever I use it, it throws all it has at me. Remember the snowstorm? This time I got blinding rain and hail.  It’s okay, I know how to handle that. But I was a little irritated. I mean, come ON>


  • Evening spent hangin’ with my sister (I love her ridiculously) and her totally fun family and the baby goat…I’ll have Catherine send a photo later.

    I swear…
  • So I’m sitting in the hotel room and I turn on the TV, scrolling stations…looking for something good and it occurs to me~ this is the time to watch those embarrassing shows you don’t want anyone to know you are KIND of interested in watching but are too embarrassed to be caught watching.  I can’t think of any of them but let’s scroll and see if there’s anything on. And no, I don’t watch porn (unless I’m sleeping), get your mind out of the gutter. . So I start scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and oh Friends…

    And really you can’t go wrong with Friends...
  • Yes I’m still sick. No I don’t currently want to die. Yes I’m tired and taking drugs.
  • We got our letter from MT yesterday. It was a paragraph and it was hilarious and I miss him. He’s my favorite roadtripper so my drive yesterday was lonely and I was REALLY glad to hear from him.
    IMG_6648
    photo from our first roadtrip a “few” years ago…flashing back.
  • Even though I’m sick it’s really beautiful out so I think I’m going to head out for a run/walk/crawl/whatever. It’s my meditation.


R
un on…and find that moment of balance today. 

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Filed under Motivation, Running, Tess

We knew it was coming. The end of the world.

No, not Trump. None of us could really see THAT coming. But once that sucker came it came on like a freight train. Wait. Isn’t that a song? No…that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about me getting the cold right before everything hits. I have to go to graduation. I have the baby shower. Everything. It’s not just “a cold” It’s THE COLD. (you have to say it with a big God like scary shake the walls voice.

  • I have my husband’s cold. We knew it was coming. I’m on day one of feeling like this and he’s on day 6. He is kind of starting to feel better. I have a baby shower in a week. Pray for me
  • I had my Botox shots yesterday morning and it just never gets more fun. It is still painful. Still makes me cry and I still don’t enjoy it, not one bit, not at all. But I love my doctor. He’s kind and generous and thoughtful and funny and I’m grateful. But don’t ever think I love that appointment. Nope nope nope.
  • I am leaving for MT this morning. My nieces are graduating on Sunday. We are havin’ a PARTY!
  • I “ran” yesterday morning. If you want to call it that.
  • Because I’m sick,  I’m not running.  I’m walking the dog this morning because I like to do something before I get in the car for the day. This is a little sad but we do what we can, right?
    Sheesh…even my motivation is a little unmotivated. #Ineedanap #its8inthemorning

Run on…and if you’re sick…take a rest day. Or two.

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Am I feeling all great and everything or is it just an illusion?

  • Sometimes FB isn’t what you want it to be. Sometimes it’s not the refuge from a busy day. Today it had disturbing news stories, stressful updates and general unhappiness. I closed it. My stomach hurt. I hid people.
  • I woke up at 5:30 this morning and  immediately started my day with a dance party. Because WHYNOT??
  • Malachi and I went for a walk and then I got my nails done and headed out for these errands. I ran seven errands today. I know, you’re thinking…really? Only seven? I’ve kind of lost a little faith in you, Tess. But a few of those errands were like across town and HUGE errands for the shower so holy smokes they count as TWO don’t they? Why yes, I think they do. And one of then was mowing the lawn…hmm…six and a half. I only mowed the front. Damn. And I did not run today because I am resting so as not to hurt myself and because…tired.
  • Here are the chalkboards! I told you I’d show you pictures. I know they aren’t running related. Geez you guys are sassy. Life isn’t ALL about running. Sometimes it’s about creativity. And THESE ARE CREATIVE. Look at how freakin’ cool they are. (as I pat myself on the back) #downtherabbithole

    IMG_20160518_224000461       IMG_20160518_224013221
    I attempted to find the sources for my ideas for these but Pinterest is like the source from hell, right? I think I may have narrowed it down to catchmyparty.com.  I mixed and matched a lot and figured things out a little. And spray painted my own leg. That was fun. I did have that moment where I wondered when I last showered (it was black spray paint and it was on my ankle) but then I remembered the paint.
  • I’ve been following bendoeslife for years and he’s currently walking across the United States from LA to Boston. At one point he got bored (I know, right? At ONE point? ha…so he entertained us with  the Mulan song I’ll Make a Man Out of You on video for us. I follow him on Instagram, too. The video is awesome. Here’s the point, and I do have one, I was reminded how much I love that song so I downloaded it. Um…did you know Donny Osmond sings that song???? I’m so enlightened!! I see Donny Osmond in a whole new light. Also…great song to run to. Just saying. It’s okay, you can judge me. I also run to Mmmbop. And before you say anything else I have EXCELLENT taste in music.
  • I have plans tomorrow night (sadly without my husband) so I am planning on getting up early (ha…think it’ll happen two days in a row?) so I can get a workout in. I have to be in MT this weekend because my nieces are graduating…how awesome is that? So I’m trying to get as much done as possible before I go. Part of what I have to do is ironing tablecloths and that takes 45 minutes PER TABLECLOTH. I have nine more. sigh…so much work. I’d rather be drawing chalkboards.  If anyone wants to iron tablecloths…you know where to find me. 😉
    ~~~~

Run on…because it’s what you want. You know it is. Even when it’s hard.

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Good morning, Beautiful. So this happened to me…

I finished three miles of running on the treadmill today…three whole miles and I didn’t pass out or ANYTHING. I KNOW. I was shocked, too. Oh it’s okay. I realize I didn’t rock the three miles. I got them done. I completed them. That’s all we’re asking for. The window was open and someone had a fireplace going so I’m pretty sure I’m getting lung cancer from inhaling the smoke (perhaps too much Grey’s Anatomy?) which is totally no excuse for my pathetic attempt to run three miles. But I completed it. It’s always harder when you haven’t been on the treadmill for awhile. Listen to me all full of excuses.


I also did about 15 minutes of strength because holy smokes did I need to. My legs hurt something fierce. I needed to get those muscles moving. Thankyouverymuch.

~~~~

My dad used to call me ‘Beautiful’. As a name. I would be more flattered but he loved women and called a lot of women ‘Beautiful’. ha. It came in really handy when he couldn’t remember their name. Who am I kidding. I was still flattered. I’m a sucker for a handsome man calling me Beautiful. I think…It doesn’t exactly happen every day, or ever. Don’t judge him by this, he was a wonderful man. I do miss my dad.

I was leaving the store today and I was happy. I was smiling (rumor has it that’s a good quality of mine). I was bouncy and smiling and thinking how great it was that I had nearly all my errands done and I could head home soon and get my run in and look at how fabulous I am today for being all organized and all that. Hey…don’t judge me.

I put my cart away and turned back towards the car and smiled and waved a thank you to the man waiting for me to cross and he smiled back and said something to me as I got back to my Jeep. I turned back and said, “excuse me?”.

He said, “you’re beautiful!”

Yep. That’s what he said. He didn’t creep me out. He wasn’t weird. He was just a nice guy giving a compliment. I said, “oh! um…thank you!” and he smiled and drove on. He said it like he meant it. Like he had the moment, he thought it and he felt like sharing it. That’s exactly how it came across. Genuine, kind and non creepy. >that’s important<

It was one of the nicest compliments I’ve ever received.

Why? Because it was spontaneous. It didn’t feel expected.  It felt genuine.

You know when you see someone with great boots, cute sandals, look at that darling sweater, oh my gosh isn’t her hair so great? and you feel the pull to tell her?

I’m that person and I always feel better after I do it.

And this guy, this stranger, he made me happy with a kind word.

~~~~~

 

I need to go to sleep. I’m super tired. I didn’t crash today and I almost always do so I think I’m short of crash time.

Sean and I are thinking we’ll screw with MT’s Netflix. There has to be a perk to him leaving us. Fill it up with Chick flicks and shows for Theboy. Also, I’m changing his profile photo on his Facebook to photos of him when he was little. I’m feeling very powerful with all the control I have. ::evillaugh::

~~~~~

Um…yeah…(read that like…”DUH”)

Run on…because we are runners. And if you aren’t, it’s okay. we still like you.

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So.much.rain.

  • It POURED rain today. I love the rain. But maybe some sprinkles mixed in I mean…POURED RAIN. So much water. My lawn is happy. My cat not so much. My dog doesn’t seem to care.
  • I spent many many many hours organizing some much needed paperwork, lists, baby shower items and RSVP items and thus…not much else. You know, if this turns out, you will get some lovely photos and you will never have to hear about it again. If it’s a giant failure….you will get giant failure photos and you’ll never have to hear about it again. Rest assured, soon you never have to hear about it again. #downtherabbithole
  • My workout yesterday was hurting. Is that a good sign? I’m making an effort to work out every single day and yesterday I really worked it but I remembered to keep it hard but not kill me. So today I have DOMS but not ~Holy Mother I can’t do the stairs what’s wrong with me~ bad. That’s a good thing, right? Yep, I think so.

    Also…when Googling “DOMS” for a GIF…enter with caution. It’s a sex thing. sigh…Nothing is safe anymore…
  • MT used to read my blog (before being cut off from all the world in Boot camp~oorah)and he would stand over my shoulder while I wrote and searched for GIF’s and he’d laugh because he knows me and reads my mind and hears me talk out loud and he would talk things through with me and he would laugh his ass off if he was standing there when I came across that ridiculous DOMS thing up there…so ridiculous. I’m so careful what I search for and sometimes when you aren’t looking…BAM…danger on the computer.
  • The photographer (and the mom?) in me loves photographs. I am completely sucked in. I love photographs and the people in them.  Take pictures. And when you’re taking that photo…get closer. Frame it…then get closer. You really can’t screw that up. No one needs to see legs and arms and lawn chairs. Get closer. Get those beautiful faces. It’s so worth it.
    Seanandmt
    aren’t they pretty? Yep. I think so, too.
  • I’ve been watching Grace and Frankie on Netflix and it’s a fabulous show. Amazing to watch. I love Lily Tomlin and I’ve never been a real fan of Jane Fonda but she is very talented and that does come through. Also, could I please look like her at 50, let alone 70? Sheesh. She’s amazing. And I really feel like the show and the characters are so cross generational. So many issues women of all ages can relate to. One of the characters in the show is named Babe, I loved that.  Okay, so she ends up dead but whatever. Minor issue. Also, I totally see my mother in them, which is hilarious. HILARIOUS.
    Favorite quote so far when Frankie (a total granola)  is trying to help Grace (high class society) find a past love:

I’m an amateur sleuth with limited self control and a computer. It’s a perfect storm.

Maybe you had to be there but that is so my mother. And a little bit me but don’t tell her I said so.

Hilarious. I’m so disappointed it’s only two seasons so far.

  • I tracked my eating on myfitnesspal today. I haven’t done it in forever but I figured what the hell. I don’t feel hungry ever which is so ironic because I know nothing fits me and it’s so SO frustrating. I made myself eat today though it was not an easy feat. Even my baked potato was only half hearted. I just threw a baked potato in the microwave. I did have the heart to make it a sweet potato or even to add salsa and you guys know I live and breathe for salsa. So at the end of the day it turns out I had a whopping 870 calories and even myfitnesspal yelled at me. Whatever. You can’t please anyone these days. I suspect there’s a little man inside myfitnesspal and he’s talking to my mother… 😉
  • If it’s still raining I’m going to the gym. I don’t feel like getting that wet and I could use some stairmaster/elliptical time. Cross training is SO MY FAVORITE. (don’t I sound SUPER EXCITED about cross training? Yeah…)

Run on…and if it’s raining well, perhaps some rain gear cause we gotta get that run in…

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I wrote this way too late at night…

It’s midnight and I just got off the treadmill after throwing out a CRAZY ASS three miles where I ran at LEAST a mile and a half of that YOU CAN’T STOP ME NOW BABY.

Yes Yes I’m calling my doctor.

I did actually hop off the treadmill and come straight to the computer to send her a message and was greeted with this:

We are upgrading our Electronic Health Record (EHR) system, which includes our patient portal, MyCenturaHealth. Our system’s transition to this new EHR will be complete by April 30, 2017

I’m not sure which will be done first, this or the construction on our interstate. And you know that’s a neverending story.

They’re upgrading their systems and apparently they’re getting the government to help because it’s going to take a freaking year. yes, that’s right. A year.

So I diligently logged in and my doctor’s name is no longer listed but that’s because she has apparently already transitioned. But I haven’t. So I can register into the new system if I want to yada yada…oh man I totally stopped reading. It was pages and I didn’t care anymore. I’ll call her in the morning.

~~~

When I got on the treadmill it started to make a funny noise so Sean and I figured it needed to be waxed (insert inappropriate joke here). We got out the wax stick and Sean was trying to fix it and he mentioned what a great investment my treadmill was. MAN he is not kidding.

We bought that sucker like…15 YEARS AGO. I’m not yelling. I’m EXCITED AND JOYFUL FOR MY TREADMILL. I am expressing True LOVE. Get it. True Love? See what I did there? Which is old but beautiful because it’s a True and I love True.

~~~~~

I did get the three miles done and I also did about 20 minutes of strength training. It wasn’t impressive. It was basic. But I got it done. I feel SO MUCH better when I strength train. Damn I have to do that more often.

Now that it’s Monday I think I’ll do that again. I’ll probably attempt a run, too. Just for kicks. Ha. We’ll see how I do…right?

Gasp. Gasp…that’s how I’ll do.

~~~

Run on…walk on, bike, swim. Save your own life. You’re the only one who can. 

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