So…I am taking a very VERY short hiatus from my little partner in crime, my diary of late. My blog.
I’ve found the very common issue people have of wanting to voice their true selves in their words and the people that read them and interpret them their own way tends to limit what I feel like I can comfortably say.
If I have a bad day or a painfilled day I think people just read this as all negative all the time or they imagine me curled up in the fetal position barely able to move or breathe.
I’m a super healthy incredibly strong 47 year old who gets chronic migraines and has Celiac disease which on it’s best day offers a wide variety of joy to choose from. The most common of which is chronic diarrhea. Let’s put it right out there.
But I’ve been dealing with this for years. Years. So I’m kinda used to it. Some days are worse than others, this still means I’m used to it.
Some days I’m going to have a horrible kick me in the ass knock me down migraine. More often these days because we made a medication change. I’m still here. I’m still going to work every day. I’m still running and training for the NYCM and I’m still not cooking for my family.
Okay, I do every couple of days. But I have the worst family to cook for so I don’t feel too bad about it.
The gist is, I’m normal. But whatever issue I do have that day does affect how my day goes and what I do with it. Writing about it, though, seems to offer conflict. I find myself constantly rewriting something or editing so what I say doesn’t sound so bad to someone who may be reading it. Though to be perfectly honest I really want to say I have a kick me in the ass migraine. I want to say that! I want to have it validated by saying it “out loud”.
I’m still okay! People are up and dealing with cancer for God’s sake. I think a migraine is probably not going to kill me. People have serious chronic pain-every-minute diseases and I am so fortunate that what I have is manageable.
But I still get down sometimes. For normal ~very normal everybody has them~ reasons. I have a lot going on and my mind is busy. I don’t want to bring my pretty little blog to sad world by posting about my daily worries. Though they are small and unimportant, they affect me.
Because of this I’m going to step back for a week or two. Or until I get a wild hair and come back and that might be earlier. Ha. You know me. I have my own mind about this.
Thanks for being awesome and I’ll see you soon
Meanwhile…some of my favorites.
Run on and see you soon