The polite dilemna. Dilemma?

Who the hell decided to change the spelling of dilemna?

Probably the same people who struggle to spell loose and lose.  ::eyeroll::


So if you read or know me at all …or for like…ten minutes…then you know I have migraines.

They are mostly managed in my own wacked out way though it is a real issue I deal with  every day.

This is just a grumble.

Bear with me please.

When someone finds out I have migraines ~which they inevitably do whether I tell them or someone else does~ and they proceed to tell me how awful their migraines are.  Not that I’m unsympathetic…I’m completely sympathetic.

But here I am, a fully functioning mom, worker in the work force and let’s face it…wife and runner, runner and wife.   I’m out there.  I’m gettin’ it done.

What I hear is this, “You’re so lucky.  When I get a migraine I can’t move.  I have to close up in a dark room with the blinds closed and a cold washcloth on my head and no noise at all and it feels like a knife is being stabbed in me.  There is NO way I could come to work.”

photo: Please stop talking.

Because their migraines are actually really bad. I just have baby migraines apparently.

There’s no way to say to every single person that shares with me:

  • I wake up most mornings with a migraine.  No, they are not all a 10 on the scale of 1 to 10.  But they are all on the migraine scale so I figure that gets me there.  Most people wake up refreshed after a good nights sleep so I’m already a step behind.
  • I wake up incredibly early from the pain and lie there waiting to see if it dissipates on its own

photo: Did you fall down and smack your little head on the pavement? Yes, that’s what it feels like.  Most days.

  • If it remains unbearable…I force myself up and take meds
  • every morning I hear my moms voice worrying about my liver
  • at least once a week I go to work with a migraine that is kicking my ass.  Like…a 9 or 10  on the scale.
  • I used to automatically go to the hospital with a 10.  Then I got the bill with the new insurance.  *sigh*  Now I suck it up.
  • my bedroom is painted dark brown with matching blinds because it helps my head from the light.
  • When raising my kids, I tried many many different kinds of preventative meds (with awesome doctors) to see what worked for me.  But the bottom line is…when your kids have to get to school or you have a two year old…the migraine has to be dealt with.  You don’t GET to curl up in a dark room and push it aside.  Who gets to do that?
  • Two of my kids have told me they will remember me always having a headache.  Awesome.  I LOVE that.  How many fabulous things have I done as a mom and that’s what they remember?  I hope they remember I did really cool things despite the migraines.
  • Sean is amazing and has many times taken care of me at the end of the day after HE’S had a long day of work. He comes home, feeds the kids, puts them to bed, runs them to sports, etc.  I’m sure he has his share of memories with my migraines.  He’s a rockstar.
  • Then there’s the…do we take her to the hospital or not? question.  And then dealing with the outrageous emergency room bill when we do.


Seriously…he puts up with a lot.

  • About every six months I have a pity party and cry about why I have to deal with this.  And then I get over it.
  • I have a huge list of everyday foods I can’t eat because they are triggers for migraines.  They include caffeine, alcohol, cheese and I’m legit allergic to chocolate.

I recognize I’m incredibly blessed.  The meds keep them SO under control.  Excedrin is my friend.  We have great insurance.  I have the best doctor ever. I’m healthier than I’ve ever been.  Really.  I have to deal with migraines?  This is nothing.

So when people tell me how awful their migraines are I politely nod, express sympathy, occasionally have small talk with them or share something out of politeness,  but I try not to.  It’s just too personal.  I don’t have the luxury of curling up in a dark room with a migraine.  They won’t understand so I just don’t share.

It doesn’t make it less frustrating to hear though.

Day three of no running and Day one of kind of missing it.

Rain or's never too late to slip on your Injinji's, lace up your shoes, and see how far you can go!

A run is in the books for tomorrow.

Run on~




5 Replies to “The polite dilemna. Dilemma?”

  1. You’re so awesome, seriously! You motivate me all the time because I know you are pushing through those migraines and not letting them stop you! However, if I take anymore hooks to the head from your son, I might be in a dark room curled up with a washcloth and a bottle of Excedrin : ) Miss running with you.

  2. Sean mentioned he read the blog and he gets migraines. After I laughed… I told him I hope I make it clear that I totally get I’m not the only sufferer out there. But don’t make your pain worse than someone else’s. It’s presumptuous and rude.

    And I’ll have a chat with that boy. He shouldn’t be hitting girls. 😉

  3. Oh, I hope I wasn’t one of these when we chatted about migraines! (Not my own, but J’s. I’m just always happy to talk with someone who understands how terrible they are–because I DO talk to people who call basically any headache a “migraine.”) And if I was, please forgive me. I am beyond impressed by how much you do in spite of the pain I know you’re so often in. I’ve no doubt your migraines are far from “baby”–you’re just a bad-ass. <3

    Also, I had no idea dilemma was ever spelled dilemna! So I Googled, naturally. It's what I do. Grammar Girl says: Weird.

  4. Hi Miss Rebekah!!
    Absolutely NOT. You were fabulous because you deal with J’s. Nothing to sneeze at, those puppies. And men having migraines are more rare, right, so we had a great conversation.
    I agree, so many people call headaches “migraines” when it’s just a headache. And I’ve gotten lazy and call them headaches. That has bitten me a bit.
    It just happens occasionally at events or work or something you’ll run into someone who finds out and they HAVE to tell their story of their migraine. Okay, I bet it DID suck, having that migraine. HUGE respect. Just don’t diminish what I’m going through. Love Grammar Girl!! Don’t judge my grammar! 🙂

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