Jack of all trades, master of none.

A good friend recently asked me, “what do you do badly?”

She seemed to think I could do a lot.

Oh Honey.

Where do I begin?  Do you have time? Pull up a chair…

I begin this post by saying what I’ve said before…

I have one really awesome trait that fools people…

I am not afraid…

To clarify, for most things and on the surface, I am not afraid.  And even if I am I will tackle it anyway.  I will just do it.  Because it upsets me more to think I won’t do something because I’m afraid of it than to face it head on afraid anyway and beat its ass.  I mean, I’m afraid either way, right?  So…

Here’s where we find my problem.  I’m not really any good at anything.  I’ll DO anything.  If there’s a group of us and no one wants to do it?  I’ll do it.  I’m not afraid.  Because someone has to.  What the hell?  What’s the worst that can happen?  I screw it up?  Yes.  Truthfully about 75% of the time…I do.

I am no good at waltzing.  I told my dad I could totally waltz.  I was a teenager and we were at a wedding and I said, “Sure!  I can totally do that!”  Never did it before in my life.  He figured it out pretty quick and told me so. I was incredibly embarrassed.

I also could not make an egg salad sandwich.  Told my mom and dad I would TOTALLY make my dad an egg salad sandwich for dinner.  Made a perfect egg over easy for his sandwich.  He ate it.  Dawned on me about two hours later…huh.  Bet I was NOT supposed to make the egg that way.  I don’t eat those kind of egg sandwiches so I didn’t put that together.  I was so proud of myself for not breaking the yolk. haha.

I cannot do texture on walls to save my life.

I cannot do photoshop on the computer and have no idea how to even begin to do it. 

I can run marathons…but very very very slowly.

I can run 5k’s, but very very slowly.

I can cook…but not great.  So I don’t like to.

I love the computer...but only know enough to save my life.

I can swim…but only know enough to save my…well you get the gist.

I used to be great at math.  In the fifth grade.

The two things I absolutely will NOT tackle and you can’t make me are spiders and ski lifts.

**I figure I’m brave enough. I can have two scary things.**

For me the deal is being afraid.  I don’t want to be afraid all the time.  So I just ask myself if what I’m doing makes me afraid.

So to answer the question, is there anything I do badly?  Most things.  Most things I do badly.  I wish there was one thing I did really really well.  You know, that talent you can say, “yep.  this is mine. I do this”.  I don’t have that.  I don’t do anything well.  Except have migraines.  And tackle the scary things.

But I’m well known to just jump in and do the scary thing.

I think I’ll run a marathon…on Sunday.  I think I’ll run another one in two weeks.

I think I’ll run 13 half marathons this year.

I think I’ll start a blog.

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Run Tess Run made me very afraid.  Because it was putting my words out there.  And there are SO many cool blogs out there and mine is…eh.  Okay.  But I always wanted to write (doesn’t everyone?).  I was held back by a lot of things to include an amazing writer daughter who has more talent in her pinky than I do in my whole body for sure.  And good LORD she should never edit my words because I write like I think and there is NO cohesive thought to it.  No proper grammar.  No appropriate punctuation.  *shudder*  Probably give her a migraine just thinking about it.

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So my #1 worry was what if no one read my blog and what if they laughed at me for even having one…or for what I wrote.  I just decided if I was going to get past the fear, I needed to just do it.  So I did.  Did I help?  Nope.  Every single time I post…I’m afraid.

Every single time.