This could be long. Sorry. But you don’t have to read it. I just have to write it.
Six years ago..my gosh has it been that long?…my family met at a hotel in Denver to send Alex Michael and his best friend Corey to basic training.
They were going to be Marines.
We’d screwed around all day just hanging out and spending time together before we had to say goodbye. The boys had to spend the night “locked in” to the hotel room and then they would leave in the morning.
We sat in the hotel lobby just spending the last two or three hours with our boys until we absolutely HAD to leave. We knew we wouldn’t be able to talk to them for months and as parents…we were worried. Corey is our bonus kid, and his mom wasn’t able to be there so we were happy to fill in. She would do the same for us.
There was another family there and they were saying goodbye to their son.
Her name was Holly. Her husband, their son and his little brother, just a year older than MT.
Her and her husband were just five years older than Sean and I and married about the same number of years.
Kids nearly the same age.
So we bonded over goodbyes.
We each told our story…how did you get to this hotel lobby.
I can hear her telling the story. I can hear her voice, and see him smiling with his head down…
and nodding like…yep…
and she was worried.
and I was worried.
but we love them and kissed them goodbye.
Two years later, I got a call at work from Alex Michael.
Her son had deployed to Afghanistan. He had been killed that day.
Her sweet, beautiful boy. Oh God oh God oh God.
I just fell to my knees and cried.
I cried like it was my son.
I felt her heart breaking.
I ached for what they were going through.
I couldn’t imagine the loss. I couldn’t even imagine it. I could hardly breathe with the pain I was feeling.
That could have been my son. That could have been our Corey.
Who decides what Marine goes where?
There are no hard and fast rules. It’s just the luck of the draw and her son drew short.
I felt it to my core.
I cried all day. I cried all evening.
I couldn’t sleep.
I finally got up and found her on Facebook. I was drawn to her.
I sent her a message. I thought…I just need to say something. To let her know I’m so sorry for her pain.
I started with “you probably don’t remember me…”
but we sent our boys off on the same day.
I told her how sorry I was for the loss of her beautiful son.
I felt it to the depths of my soul and I cannot imagine what pain she must be feeling.
Her life is so changed and I’m so sorry it’s gone this direction.
She was up, no surprise, at 3am.
And she responded to this stranger.
I do remember you, in the hotel lobby.
This day has been awful.
they came, two of them, early this morning.
I saw them approach in their uniforms …
and I fell to my knees because I knew.
She went on and on and on.
I let her.
And I typed when a response felt right.
After a few hours….we both shut down for the night.
I was just someone she could talk to who was neutral.
She was a writer, so it was natural she could talk through messages.
We talked all the time. At all hours of the night. Because neither of us could sleep.
And the strangest friendship was formed.
Over the years since then we’ve met at his funeral, his memorial, and most recently…lunch together.
We went for a walk and she struggled to breathe and keep up. We had to slow down.
She messaged me later…they diagnosed her with stage 4 lung cancer.
She was terminal.
This amazing woman loved running, hiking, motorcycle road trips with her husband…you name it…she loved it.
Life. She loved it.
She was 52 years old. She was smart, and beautiful and SO proud to be a mom. She loved her boys to the moon and back.
She was mad for her husband. And he for her.
She laughed all the time.
She was spontaneous and joyful.
She was brokenhearted and sad.
At Christmas she was given three weeks.
She lasted until nearly March.
She told me I should come see her and when I protested, telling her the family needed time with her she said,
“Ha. They already saw me. I was supposed to be dead last Thursday. They’ve had their turn.”
She made me laugh outrageously with her honesty.
I did not get to see her. I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I messaged with her and that’s what we were. We were messages in the middle of the night.
Her life was stolen from her. And it is so wrong.
It is so unbelievably wrong.
My friend, Holly, died last night at midnight…while holding her husband’s hand. Please God let me go that way. Holding my husband’s hand. She was sleeping. It was peaceful.
It was a loss heard round the world.
My love to her husband and her son. They have felt too much loss in this lifetime.
photos stolen from her page.
Thank you for listening to me.
I guarantee I’m not done talking about it. And I’m sorry about that.
But I feel the need for the world to know her and the great gap in the universe there is now.
Look at that smile. Girl is beautiful.