I’ve been facing the blank page. And eating gummies.

I realize it’s been days and days but I had a migraine on Sunday and I think it killed all my brain cells. How the hell can I be expected to do Algebra if I can’t even write mundane unexciting news on a blog that very few people read?

I keep looking at my computer and all I see is

the blank page

the blank page

the blank page

~~~
I had a serious migraine on Sunday and after days of not having time to run  and not taking the time to take care of myself, I needed to run. But it’s a disservice to my body to run when I’m in that condition. It’s hard enough when I have those kinds of drugs in me. So no matter how hard it is to see other people running through the streets of Denver with joyful glee, I have to remember my priorities and taking care of me is the one.

I do a lot of that.

I think about it all the time.

My mom has visions of me curled up in the fetal position barely able to function through life. But in reality I’m usually pretty freaking busy. And busy means functional. But certain things will definitely keep me from running.

Migraines.

And injury. 

And then time. I am the queen of not putting myself first. So for sure that. 

What keeps you from running? Smart ass answers are always appreciated.

I am, in fact, the queen of the stall…

If I don’t run first thing in the morning then there’s ten more things I have to do and THEN I’ll go for a run.  And before you know it, it’s the middle of the day, my least favorite time to run. I’ll hang out for awhile with the intention to run in the evening. Then it’s dinner time, the kids need something, someone needs a ride, someone needs  a new shirt,  I have to run back to the store, whatever. And finally life happens. You get the gist. Before you know it I’ve put it off and decided I’ll get up first thing and run in the morning…wasting yet another day.

So much sad.

Today I’m going to finish this and then go for a run in the middle of the day because I have a million things to do and I don’t want to waste a running opportunity.

I’m still new enough in this recovering I’m not sure I CAN run so I need to do it to remind myself I can. I should. 

~~~

I started a 21 day cleanse on Monday. 

I finished it on Tuesday

I feel much better.::sarcasm::

Now I’m eating gummies.  note..I do feel better after the gummies. For realies.

I actually did it for two days but by the end of the second day my stomach was seriously rebelling from a green shake. I can’t even blame the Celiac.

I’m totally blaming my ridiculously sensitive taste buds.

I am such a picky person. I actually really love healthy shakes with veggies in them but this time I put avocado in the shake (per the recipe) and I haven’t been the same since. I may be off green shakes for awhile. No matter what’s in them. The texture of the avocado in the shake pushed me over the edge. It was like a melted ice cream shake. ::shudder:: Bleah.  So even the thought of drinking another shake has me gagging. I attempted another one yesterday with mostly fruit and I only got half of it down. So I finished the day and the morning decided to take a break from it.

More than a year ago I took a shot of coconut oil (I’m not crazy, it has crazy good healing properties, I figured I’d check it out). It came right back.  I still get sick just thinking about it and I don’t cook with coconut oil anymore. I still use it on my hands and face but I can’t stand the taste at all.

Welcome to my stomach. I get it. It can’t be explained.

This is why I never follow the “diet rules”. I’m a rule breaker.

Don’t tell anyone.  Everyone thinks I’m a rule follower.

~~

I was reading Rory Feek’s blog about his wife, his young beautiful talented wife is dying of terminal cervical cancer (it’s so incredibly wrong) and he’s writing about their life. He started writing before she got cancer, before they had a baby, before they found out the baby had Down’s Syndrome, you get the gist. I ended up reading the whole blog, This Life I Live. This is how I spend my time. I should get out more.

As I read it I had a screaming desire to hit the pavement and run out anything that may be poisoning my body.

Like that would work, right?

I feel like we have a responsibility to take the best care of our bodies if for no other reason than than out of  respect for those who can’t.

I know when I found out I was Celiac I came home that day and did a sweep of my house. I went shopping that day and bought new everything for my kitchen. I went grocery shopping that day and bought different food to make sure I was eating healthy.

And now I’m working my hardest on motivation. My Celiac self would way rather be sleeping. ::yawn:: <I did not make that up. It totally just happened.

Get up. Get moving. Take care of you.

Eat smart. You get to eat stupid sometimes but you need to eat smart MOST of the time. Be responsible. Your beer drinking pizza devouring self will thank you every time you eat a salad and skip the bread and have a glass of water with lemon and make better choices.

I rant about this too often. I’ll stop now.

~~~

 

Run on…

5 Comments

Filed under Migraines, Motivation, Running, Tess

5 Responses to I’ve been facing the blank page. And eating gummies.

  1. I always find it so frustrating that everyone’s stomach / diet needs are different and that what works for one person can really make someone else feel awful. Sometimes it’s so hard to figure that out#

  2. Oh, and lately being at work and needing to get enough sleep to survive long work days has been keeping me from running…

    • tess conley

      yeah, everyone is so whack on foods it IS weird. And people have no patience for what someone else is allergic or sensitive to. It’s just a huge joke to the world. I struggle with that.

      I think when you’re going through that you need to honor what your body needs at that time. Running will come. Sleep is first.