I am an imperfect person

Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? I remember one of the nurses on that show saying, “I am an imperfect person”.

These last two weeks at work I have demonstrated that many times over. I hope they still let me come back because I really like this job. I’ve been told over and over again “that was my favorite job” by people that held this position or similar in the past and in my short time here I can see why already.

My first staff meeting started with a minute of quiet time and then a prayer. It was glorious. What staff meeting do you know starts with that? The office work is just office work, though I’m much better with Excel than Microsoft Publisher (getting better now, thankyouverymuch), and I can count money better than I can create well…pretty much anything in Publisher but hey like I say, figuring it out.
I organize in my sleep and working on that kind of stuff makes me quite happy.  I’m supposed to work 20 hours a week. I find myself putting in 40 hours pretty easily.  Staff come and go throughout the  day and people wander in looking for food, clothes,  and money for medicine.  For prayers when they’re sick in the hospital and phone calls looking for support groups. Sometimes they ask for a priest and sometimes they just talk to me. One person called for a priest but called back four times and said talking to me was really helpful.  Being in the hospital alone must be the loneliest time and talking seemed to help. It doesn’t bother me at all and I was able to work while talking. In the afternoon most people leave for the day and I get the building to myself to work in the quiet and the dark and it’s so peaceful and lovely I can’t tell you how perfect it is.
This is not a bad problem to have when you get to help people in need. Seriously. This is a really lovely job. And sometime soon I’ll figure out all the little nuances and I’ll be much better at it. Now if only I could learn Spanish. #lifegoals #helpmerosettastone 

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I’m doing much better today after yesterday’s Botox. I did have some residuals today. I have some bruising on my forehead and the back of my head I can feel. I tend to get that every time but it can flare a migraine up. I just took some Excedrin and then later a Cambia and I feel much better.

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I’ve opened five packages of Trick or Treat Dots and they’re all green and yellow. What the hell..Dots?  Five packages and they all have ONE red Dot in them. That is totally wrong. I don’t want the green or yellow or orange. I don’t want them Sam I am.

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I think between the stress of the last two weeks and the migraine of the last week I’ve lost 10 pounds but because I’m me I’m pretty sure…

I’ve gained five.

I’m not going to weigh myself to find out.
Who does THAT?

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My imagination will do juust fine thankyou.

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Sean is gone for the majority of the weekend so I get to do whatever I want and that includes not eating if I don’t want to. Or scrambled eggs if I want to. Or whatever.

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Tonight I really want to put on my sweats and eat ice cream. BUT…I’m going to walk my dog and go for a run. Because I haven’t run in forever. I miss it.

I was thinking about it during the great migraine and I thought how much I don’t care about intervals and hill training and so on and if I could just go for a quick run to satisfy my running cravings I’d be so happy.

I’m a simple girl. I’d take a little run around the park if that’s all I could do. Or two or three. I could do two or three runs around the park. The route we take is two miles around the park. That’s the perfect run if you do it two or three times! Just enough to satisfy!
It’s a quickie!

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I was telling my mom that the person who knows all the goings on at the church and how to do everything is leaving. That’s not stressful at all. I won’t have the slightest idea what I’m doing. She had mentioned Advent and I got this blank look on my face.

My mom said, “you know what Advent is. It’s the beginning of the church year calendar. I learned that in confirmation class”.

Huh. Well I took a super accelerated confirmation class because they wanted us to be confirmed by the bishop and he was coming soon so it was ~learn it all fast~. Since I’m ADHD anyway it was more along the lines of… This is confirmation class and here is where you’ll learn the…
huh…I love the library in the church. It’s so relaxing in here and the fireplace and look at all the books. I’d LOVE to get at all those books. I wonder if we can check those out? ~mind wanders to the 14 things I have to do for the kids that day and the next aaand…we’re out for the next session~
92% sure my lamaze was the same way. I went through it with my poor mom who  probably really wanted to concentrate and have a solid bonding experience with me and instead she got crazy brain me. We did okay but it was not my favorite. I try to excuse myself because I was legitimately the only 20 year old in the lamaze class. It was embarrassing. I took lamaze when I was pregnant with Shaughnessy.
Isn’t Shaughnessy just FABULOUS? I love her. She’s so smart and …smart…and beautiful, too and whatever I love her.

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It’s weird the things I have retained versus the things I haven’t. I have a freakish memory for the churches schedule, even the parts I’m not involved in but the Episcopal church as a whole…I draw a blank. Maybe I’ll study up this weekend. Ha.

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I thought I’d register for the one race for sure, the Revel half in Evergreen, but Miss Andrea has bad knees and says no way. So she wants to do something else. She’s also VERY SLOW about choosing her races.

I have no patience. I’m like every other runner out there and will choose in the middle of the night when I see someone else ran one, then I google then I get excited and I register.  It’s a problem.

We as runners have an affliction.

I’m going to be honest and say I’ve been a little scared. Not a lot because running has never scared me before so I’d say I’m a…4…maybe a 5. I haven’t run a race in so long (thank you stupid illness/surgery that took over my life) that I’m nervous and it’s holding me back. I’ve run up to five miles and then I get stuck and that’s as far as I’ve gone.  I’ve been hiking more than running and I have to push through it but still, it’s all in my head. I can  feel that because my runs all feel great. I feel really strong. It was just such a hard year last year and into this year I needed to mentally heal as much as physically and learn to trust that I can actually do it.

So out the door I go again. I’ve never been a fan of 5k’s but I might think about 10k’s.

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Michelle likes 5k’s and doesn’t like longer runs. How did we become friends?

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Run on…