I’m getting there. To the end of my crazy tunnel. I see that light.

So Trump is kicking out the Haitians. Right now it’s amazing to be a Christian and an American. I’m so proud.

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On that note…really good article here.
Why would anyone choose Christianity Today?

And hey, there’s that awesome tax code that’s going to do such great things for all of us. But it’s okay, it’ll be pretty fantastic if you make more than $170,000. What???
I had a woman at my church today asking for rent assistance. She’s a NURSE. A nurse with four kids. Her husband died, her dad just died and she can’t pay the rent. The bills are just too high and she says if she can just get a little assistance to get through the month she’ll be okay. It’s SO hard to hear these stories. I give her the list of people to call and hope she has luck. One of the people she already called and they told her they don’t give rental assistance after the fifteenth of the month. That doesn’t help her when her rent is due at the end. But hey…sure glad those people who are making a freaking ton of money are getting that tax break.

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This is all I ever think to myself when I hear anything he’s done.
~~~~~

My morning yesterday started out amazing after what has to be the most perfect four hours of sleep EVER. Or at least that I can remember.  In the best of circumstances it would have lasted three more hours but I’m not even sorry about that! I went to bed with a terrible migraine, I’d been fighting it all evening and my second drug dose seemed to finally take the edge off. Sean has the plague so I told him he was on his own and I slept in the spare room and remembered nothing after that. Usually migraine drugs cause heavy sleep/hangover/I feel awful but this time…WHOA.

What magic is this? Seriously. I felt like I could run the world.  With all that joy I hoped I wasn’t jinxing it.  I’ve been looking for this particular shirt for a while and this morning I remembered exactly where it was. My brain kicked in and logic began to work for me. It was GREAT.

In case you’re wondering, I haven’t found those pants yet. I thought for sure yesterday was the day to look for them due to the magic or maybe just meditate and think…”pants”… it was that kind of day.

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but no. it did not work.

~~~~~

Way back on Friday…

On Friday morning I had 472 errands to run (number of the week) and one of them was to go to the vet in Parker which is pretty far South.  South means a wealthier community. I’d like to dress that up a bit and make it slightly less obnoxious but let’s face it,  it’s the pretty neighborhood.

I live in Aurora. We’re pretty too, but our neighborhoods are not quite as …shall we say…refined. We don’t have nearly as many associations. Sean and I live in a free neighborhood ~yay!~and yes, we have a neighbor up the street with a pink house. Seriously. Breast cancer awareness pink. I know because I met her husband and he told me.  He also mentioned it turned out a little brighter than they were expecting but oh well, once they bought the paint they couldn’t afford to change it.
*lesson of the day, test your paint sample

I mean, I could be more politically correct about this but Aurora is just demographically lower income. Sean and I have discussed moving to a different area of the city but we have a ridiculously low house payment so it’s really beneficial for us to stay. Plus if we keep it that way we can spent all our extra money (it’s bound to be here soon, right? Extra money?) on traveling.  And some day we’re going to as soon as we get twelve minutes.

It’s really going to happen. I swear.

Meanwhile, I stopped in at the local Kroger store and OH MY GOSH.  I felt like I was in the Truman Show or that show on Netflix The Good Life. Where everything is pretty and shiny and beautiful. All the shelves are stocked and the fruit is shiny.

The produce department is twice the size of the store on my end of town, at least twice. It’s incredible. The store is HUGE. The gluten free products it stocks (gasp!) it’s really impressive. And I lost count of how many employees stopped what they were doing, turned to me smiling (smiling with a *ding) kind of smile…you know what I mean and said, “how are you doing?” or “find everything okay today?”

Seriously. SERIOUSLY.

I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone of grocery stores. It kind of freaked me out. I’d like to say I’m kidding but I think I’m only half kidding. It was crazy.

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I can’t decide if I want the grocery store or not. I’m still deciding.

~~~~~
Sean was out of town and theboy stayed with me.
The difference between sleeping with a 200 pound man and a six year old is absolutely nothing. They both take up 3/4 of the space and you end up wishing you were in the spare room.  Theboy actually slept completely sideways and with both legs on top of me.   After pushing him back over he wiggled his little self back to my side and snugged up.

That’s ok. I’ll take that.

Also, he heavy sighs with a little….”hhmmm” in his sleep. ::swoon::

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~~~~

Theboy learned how to play chess this week. He’s so excited and was telling me all about it. Then he said it was too bad I didn’t know how to play chess.

I do know how to play chess.

“YOU know how to PLAY CHESS??” he asked, incredulous.

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Huh. I wonder why that’s so shocking?

Yes. yes I do. My dad taught me when I was probably just a little older than he was.

He was dumbfounded. “Will you play with me?”
I told him I would. He wanted to know if I still remembered.
Poor Babe the dinosaur. LOL

Yes. Yes I remember.

At least 15 times while we played he said, “I can’t believe YOU know how to play chess”.
This is not a side of him I like…

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It’s okay. I kicked his little six year old butt. Three times.

~~~~~

I had this post ready to publish in the morning  and completely forgot. COMPLETELY>

In my defense I ran out the door super early for work and when I got there it was crazy busy until I left at 5.  At some point it will slow down, I’m certain of it. I just have to hang on until that happens.

I had so little sleep the night before last that even though I felt great I ended up with a pretty wicked migraine so I took some drugs, fed my family (yay, family) and went to bed for a three hour nap because taking care of myself has to come first.

My butt and my legs need a run though. I’m looking at training plans. I keep hitting people up for races.

I’m definitely feeling a little more in control though, this week. I know it’s only Tuesday but I didn’t bring work home today so that’s a plus. And if I hadn’t had a migraine I definitely would have run. All of that means there’s hope out there for time management.

It occurred to me that I could take a change of clothes and go to the incline after I get off work, if I can ever leave work at my regular hour of 2:30.

Schedules. So much scheduling.

#myworkoutwas

Absolutely nothing. I slept. Tomorrow I will be better. I’m getting my steps in though and a lot of it is an actual staircase (up and downstairs at a dead run in heels all day long…that has to count as part of a workout!).

This is incredibly true for me. Every goal I ever had that I kept to myself I succeeded with flying colors. Most of the others crashed and burned with few exceptions. I try very hard to keep goals to myself.

10 Psychology Facts That Provide Useful Insight Into The Human Mind

Run on…

I am an imperfect person

Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? I remember one of the nurses on that show saying, “I am an imperfect person”.

These last two weeks at work I have demonstrated that many times over. I hope they still let me come back because I really like this job. I’ve been told over and over again “that was my favorite job” by people that held this position or similar in the past and in my short time here I can see why already.

My first staff meeting started with a minute of quiet time and then a prayer. It was glorious. What staff meeting do you know starts with that? The office work is just office work, though I’m much better with Excel than Microsoft Publisher (getting better now, thankyouverymuch), and I can count money better than I can create well…pretty much anything in Publisher but hey like I say, figuring it out.
I organize in my sleep and working on that kind of stuff makes me quite happy.  I’m supposed to work 20 hours a week. I find myself putting in 40 hours pretty easily.  Staff come and go throughout the  day and people wander in looking for food, clothes,  and money for medicine.  For prayers when they’re sick in the hospital and phone calls looking for support groups. Sometimes they ask for a priest and sometimes they just talk to me. One person called for a priest but called back four times and said talking to me was really helpful.  Being in the hospital alone must be the loneliest time and talking seemed to help. It doesn’t bother me at all and I was able to work while talking. In the afternoon most people leave for the day and I get the building to myself to work in the quiet and the dark and it’s so peaceful and lovely I can’t tell you how perfect it is.
This is not a bad problem to have when you get to help people in need. Seriously. This is a really lovely job. And sometime soon I’ll figure out all the little nuances and I’ll be much better at it. Now if only I could learn Spanish. #lifegoals #helpmerosettastone 

Related image

~~~~~
I’m doing much better today after yesterday’s Botox. I did have some residuals today. I have some bruising on my forehead and the back of my head I can feel. I tend to get that every time but it can flare a migraine up. I just took some Excedrin and then later a Cambia and I feel much better.

~~~~~

I’ve opened five packages of Trick or Treat Dots and they’re all green and yellow. What the hell..Dots?  Five packages and they all have ONE red Dot in them. That is totally wrong. I don’t want the green or yellow or orange. I don’t want them Sam I am.

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~~~~~
I think between the stress of the last two weeks and the migraine of the last week I’ve lost 10 pounds but because I’m me I’m pretty sure…

I’ve gained five.

I’m not going to weigh myself to find out.
Who does THAT?

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My imagination will do juust fine thankyou.

~~~~

Sean is gone for the majority of the weekend so I get to do whatever I want and that includes not eating if I don’t want to. Or scrambled eggs if I want to. Or whatever.

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Tonight I really want to put on my sweats and eat ice cream. BUT…I’m going to walk my dog and go for a run. Because I haven’t run in forever. I miss it.

I was thinking about it during the great migraine and I thought how much I don’t care about intervals and hill training and so on and if I could just go for a quick run to satisfy my running cravings I’d be so happy.

I’m a simple girl. I’d take a little run around the park if that’s all I could do. Or two or three. I could do two or three runs around the park. The route we take is two miles around the park. That’s the perfect run if you do it two or three times! Just enough to satisfy!
It’s a quickie!

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~~~~~

I was telling my mom that the person who knows all the goings on at the church and how to do everything is leaving. That’s not stressful at all. I won’t have the slightest idea what I’m doing. She had mentioned Advent and I got this blank look on my face.

My mom said, “you know what Advent is. It’s the beginning of the church year calendar. I learned that in confirmation class”.

Huh. Well I took a super accelerated confirmation class because they wanted us to be confirmed by the bishop and he was coming soon so it was ~learn it all fast~. Since I’m ADHD anyway it was more along the lines of… This is confirmation class and here is where you’ll learn the…
huh…I love the library in the church. It’s so relaxing in here and the fireplace and look at all the books. I’d LOVE to get at all those books. I wonder if we can check those out? ~mind wanders to the 14 things I have to do for the kids that day and the next aaand…we’re out for the next session~
92% sure my lamaze was the same way. I went through it with my poor mom who  probably really wanted to concentrate and have a solid bonding experience with me and instead she got crazy brain me. We did okay but it was not my favorite. I try to excuse myself because I was legitimately the only 20 year old in the lamaze class. It was embarrassing. I took lamaze when I was pregnant with Shaughnessy.
Isn’t Shaughnessy just FABULOUS? I love her. She’s so smart and …smart…and beautiful, too and whatever I love her.

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It’s weird the things I have retained versus the things I haven’t. I have a freakish memory for the churches schedule, even the parts I’m not involved in but the Episcopal church as a whole…I draw a blank. Maybe I’ll study up this weekend. Ha.

~~~~~
I thought I’d register for the one race for sure, the Revel half in Evergreen, but Miss Andrea has bad knees and says no way. So she wants to do something else. She’s also VERY SLOW about choosing her races.

I have no patience. I’m like every other runner out there and will choose in the middle of the night when I see someone else ran one, then I google then I get excited and I register.  It’s a problem.

We as runners have an affliction.

I’m going to be honest and say I’ve been a little scared. Not a lot because running has never scared me before so I’d say I’m a…4…maybe a 5. I haven’t run a race in so long (thank you stupid illness/surgery that took over my life) that I’m nervous and it’s holding me back. I’ve run up to five miles and then I get stuck and that’s as far as I’ve gone.  I’ve been hiking more than running and I have to push through it but still, it’s all in my head. I can  feel that because my runs all feel great. I feel really strong. It was just such a hard year last year and into this year I needed to mentally heal as much as physically and learn to trust that I can actually do it.

So out the door I go again. I’ve never been a fan of 5k’s but I might think about 10k’s.

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Michelle likes 5k’s and doesn’t like longer runs. How did we become friends?

~~~~~

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Run on…

Let’s talk Botox

On the heels of such a terrible migraine and the Botox follow up I thought I would talk about what Botox is all about. Two years ago in February I got my first injections and I’ve had them every three months since.

They have always worked well for me, however, as time has passed the shots work better and better. I take two different medications for my migraines because Botox doesn’t make them all go away.  I continue to get some occasionally and one of those medications I would routinely fill every six weeks. I filled it six weeks ago and I’ve barely touched it. I have a full bottle.

Here is a photo of my neurologist who has nearly perfect reviews. His name is Dr. Ravi Shah.
Image result for dr ravi shah imagesI know. It’s a terrible quality picture. He doesn’t have a professional photo, how weird is that? I think this was cut out of a office snapshot or something. Anyway…here he is. He’s very GQ. Funny, so is my Celiac specialist. Suppose that has anything to do with the amount of money I’m paying for their services?
He is as good as the reviews say. He’s nice, he listens, he’s friendly, he always tries to fix whatever the problem is, and he goes out of his way to make sure I have meds…even if they’re samples until he can get me hooked up with what works. I have no problem getting an appointment and when I do have a problem he fits me in to fix it (I’m expressive, occasionally the Botox would freeze my eyebrow in “hey Baby, how you doin’? mode).
His specialties are neurology and psychology.
Yeah..I know. I’m screwed. Pretty sure he’s got me figured out.
A little of my history. I’ve been getting migraines as long as I can remember. I remember having headaches when I was very little and my mom was always trying different things to figure out how to help me. I finally figured they were migraines when I was 18 and was in the emergency room. They told me my “headache” was a migraine. Once that diagnosis was made my life got easier…if you could say that. Right?

Things to know about Botox

  • Botox does not help if you get episodic migraines or fewer than 15 migraines a month.
  • If you’re going to try it, settle in to give it two or three tries. Mine worked well the first time but each time it got better and continues to improve.
  • the cost is high. My insurance covers some of the cost so I am left with the cost of the actual vials which right now are about $600+ per vial. My doctor uses two vials on me. I also pay for my doctors visit which is $227 a visit. If my deductible is paid up then hey…this is no problem. If it’s nowhere near paid up then this comes out of either…
  • .Image result for gasp gif
    A: my health fund or:
    B: my own sad little pocket
    As you can imagine, my choice to do this was discussed with my husband at length and we processed  the cost/how well does it do it’s job- factor at length and continue to review it every few visits.
  • Botox (the brand name…) offers a Botox credit card that credits you BACK if you do the work. The work being paperwork. After I got my first treatment they gave me the paperwork. I signed up on the Botox website and filled out the information including uploading the last Botox treatment information. They sent me a credit card loaded with $240 on it that was “refunded”. I can use it on anything medical related. So the next treatment I can use it on the Botox or I can use it on the office visit or I can use it on another doctor’s visit. It just has to be medically related. I think right now I have nearly $500 on it. There is an expiration date of six months I think. They may have changed that with the new update.
  • I see him every twelve weeks and as the time winds down my head reminds me it’s happening. As it wears of, I get more migraines. That twelve week cycle is very tight for me.
  • I am still on Topiramate (generic forTopamax) as preventative medication and I also have Fiorinal and Cambia to actually treat any migraine I do get. He’s tried taking me off Topiramate and my migraines increase significantly enough that he’s leaving me on them for now. He did decrease the dosage (after the eye twitching episode a few months ago) but otherwise everything stays the same. I take 150mg a day. 50mg in the middle of the day and 100mg at night.My excuse for being brain dead is called Topamax. What's yours? BY: Gina Fabrizio
  • The Botox for migraines is diluted before it’s injected. It’s injected in approximately 31 locations across the head and neck.Image result for Botox migraine injection graphicIn the photo on the left, my injections are way at the top near my hairline, not down so far.  Because I’m pretty expressive, he dots two tiny little injections in the far edges of each eyebrow to keep me from flirting with people I don’t want to flirt with.The photo in the middle is pretty accurate though one of those injections is square in my temple, a prime spot for migraine pain.The third photo is also fairly accurate though the two injections at the bottom of the neck are much lower.
  • Does it hurt? yes. It hurts me for sure. Here is my experience- the shots are short…like two seconds. Short bursts. They aren’t deep, they are just under the surface. But they burn and on my right side-oh my gosh. Like it’s startling sometimes and then I’ll just burst into tears.  Because my migraines are 100% on the right side of my body, Dr Shah told me I would feel more pain on my right side for probably everything. That side would just be more sensitive. Well he isn’t kidding. I had noticed that before he told me and it couldn’t be clearer than when I’m getting these shots. They weren’t too bad the first time I got them but as time goes on they are more painful. I’m sure Dr. Shah loves to have me show up. I’ve passed out twice and I’ve nearly thrown up twice. I am a good time. For the record, I’m his only patient to do this. Also, he has offered me a scrip for Valium if that would help relax me before the shots but I have to drive after so I just deal with it. He has other patients who take it, I just choose not to. On a scale of one to ten, the left side hurts like a..4 maybe? The right side, depending on the situation, feels like a freakin’ 7 or an 8. Two seconds of a burning 8. Then he massages that spot to make sure the Botox disperses. The whole thing takes maybe ten minutes on a good day, twenty minutes if I have to stop.
    Getting Botox on the same day you have a migraine is not a good idea. It might be best to reschedule as the pain is a lot to deal with.  Totally.
  • Side Effects: The nitty gritty.
     1. Headache I always thought this one was random. How would I know?  #alreadythere
    2 . Facial loss of movement– I don’t think so. The first time I got shots my eyebrows ventured out on their own and that’s when I went back and he fixed them. I didn’t look too weird, just always intrigued…LOL. But right now I’m scrunching up my forehead just fine.
    3. Eyelid drooping – yep. my eyelids do seem to be a little droopier after 2.5 years. I’m also older. Good makeup? Lots of smiling… I can’t imagine getting it in other spots. Mine are so high on my hairline. Who knows what it would do to your face. 🙁
     4. Lung inflammation– nope…but I’ve heard about it and it doesn’t sound fun.
    5. Neck pain– neck pain being the most common complaint. 9% of the Botox test group complained of neck pain. I have never had this. 
    6. Muscle stiffness and weakness– how would I know? #thankyouceliac
    7. Muscle pain and spasms – how would I know? #thankyouceliac
     8. Pain at injection site – I have this for a few days after my shots and only in a few places. Sometimes I have small bruises in some of my injection sites but again, only a few.
     9. High blood pressure migraines are the only thing that raise my blood pressure. I still have low blood pressure.
    source:
  • Who to see about Botox: I was sent to a neurologist in my care circle. I still researched him. This was not something I wanted to take a chance on. I wanted to make sure he was a neurologist with years of experience treating migraines. Not everybody can do this. Just because somebody does Botox doesn’t mean they can work with migraines. It’s a delicate specialty. Your corner Botox cosmetic  aesthetician is not who you go to, even though it would probably be cheaper. And your general medical doctor is also not who you go to. You need a specialist and you want to make sure he has credentials. Do your research. 
  • Botox is totally worth it for me. I will continue with it as long as I have these great results.
    Great sources for Botox
    Botox
    Migraineagain.com
    Migraine.com

~~~~

My life, SLE, Sjogrens, endometriosis, fibromialgia, chronic migraines
Run on…

Sweet List!!

1. We are having a true and real -right down to my soul- autumn and it’s exactly what we all ordered. We are definitely dealing with cooler days but the leaves, the mostly warm weather and the occasional cool weather, the sunshine…we could not have asked for a better season.
2. I love my new job. It’s challenging and I don’t have a freaking clue what I’m doing but I’m figuring it out. Most important, I’ve been given the space to do it. My   biggest issue is I only have 20 hours and it’s a full time job. I think after I figure it out it’ll be closer to the 20 hours. For now, I’m there a LOT. 
3
. You know how I brag about my husband a ridiculous amount of the time? I mean, he’s such a slacker. The computer has needed way more than my capabilities.  I’d like to add I know husbands and wives are there for each other but this guy gets a hangout message that says, “I need help” and one sentence later he says, “I’m on my way”.  He knows I don’t ask him to leave his job and come help me if I’m not in trouble but my head was very bad and I couldn’t think, I couldn’t see very well and I was having trouble just focusing on the task that had to be done. I know very well how lucky I am and I don’t ever forget it. And yes, every Sweet List will have Sean on it so you’ll have to get over that. ❤
4. Winter boots!! Pretty shoes! Ugh. So many wonderful footwear opportunities I avoid going onto the websites or I would be totally poor. Okay, not really but I would want to be. I would want #alltheshoes
5. I love being back at work because I love wearing grown up clothes. I don’t have to dress up. People wear jeans to work. But I like dressing up. My friend mentioned to me that, like her, I probably preferred dressing up because it just felt right since it’s church. But after thinking about it…no I don’t think that’s it at all.  I don’t think God requires us to dress up. God accepts us the way we are…jeans and all.  The people at church are actual people. They laugh, they cry, they curse and they wear sweats and jeans. The downside to dressing up is that Sean doesn’t even flinch when I show up in a cute skirt and gorgeous heels. It’s just Tuesday for him. Dude…good legs. Come on! Nothin’. Good thing he’s cute.

“No one is young after forty, but one can be irresistible at any age”
― Coco Chanel

6. I have a brand new daughter in law! I know, it’s been three weeks but hey…it’s been a Sweet List hiatus. I’ve been busy.



7. This is what happens when you reply to spam email
A really great short and quick Ted Talk by James Veitch (who I am probably randomly related to in a really really far off way).
8. Seeing all of my kids happy. Pretty freakin’ awesome.


9.  The Halloween party to end all Halloween parties. Candy and treats, costumes and scary things…and magic! All with the cutest little kids ever. We didn’t get many trick-or-treaters tonight so I’m glad we had the party so we could see the all the kids. That was totally the best part.  #Halloweencuteness #tinyscarycuteness

     

10.  I woke up today and I’m not going to die. You think I’m making light but when these migraines are this bad you definitely just hate everything about life. This was just the worst I’ve had in a very long time. I considered urgent care for a “migraine cocktail” as my neurologist calls it but I thought the bill might make my headache worse so I took a drug I’d been holding off of and went to bed. I do still have it this morning but my Botox is today (the reason my migraine got this bad probably….it wears off as I get closer to my appointment) so we’ll decide at my appointment if I should reschedule and get treated for the migraine or power through the 30+ shots. Either way, it went from a “12” yesterday to an 8 today and that’s workable. #Icandothat #poweringthrough

~~~~~~

I’m ending at ten because it’s late and I want to get this posted! But if I quick come up with three more I’ll add those.

Oh wait!

11. Vanilla Midgees. 

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run on…

What’s in a name?

I listen to Pod Save America. 
Four former aides to President Obama — Jon Favreau, Dan Pfeiffer, Jon Lovett, and Tommy Vietor — are joined by journalists, politicians, comedians, and activists for a freewheeling conversation about politics, the press and the challenges posed by the Trump presidency. ~source

What is Crooked?
In 2016, a sane conversation about politics was most needed but hardest to find. Cable news panels, you may have noticed, are not the best.
Twitter is a great place to slowly lose your mind. Everywhere, the work of excellent journalists competes with clickbait, fake news, and whatever Donald Trump is tweeting about. We need a better conversation about politics in this country. That’s why we launched Crooked Media — to talk about politics in a way that doesn’t make you want to throw your phone out the window – with shows and analysis and other forms of sweet, sweet content that inform, entertain, and inspire action. No, we’re not unbiased, we’re not always serious and we’re certainly not always right. But we promise a no-bullshit conversation about politics and culture where you can laugh, cry, scream, ridicule us daily, share your ideas, and hopefully decide that you want to help fix this mess too. That’s it. End of mission. ~source

It’s really good journalism. It’s straight forward and honest and it’s just what we need right now in the midst of all this political turmoil with Donald Trump having the meltdown he’s having.

Here’s the thing. One of the guys is named Dan Pfeiffer. When I went to school many years ago (not that many, be nice) that was the name of one of my best friends. He and my friend LeAnn and I…we were always together.
He was handsome and charming and had the most beautiful voice…oh it was incredible. He would sing and we would melt. What a darling man. I loved him.
Not like that, but like one of my dearest most wonderful friends. I really loved him.

He passed soon after I married and was stationed oversees, he was very young. So I always felt like..he was there..and then gone.
It’s crazy how much I think of him anyway but I think of him every time I listen to Pod Save America and hear Dan Pfeiffer.
It’s just a name and really, what’s in a name?
Everything is in a name because I hear it and I think of him.
I miss him.
Anyway, you should listen to this podcast because it’s very real and it’s very good.
*warning explicit language
~~~~~
I started a new job today. You know how the first day of new jobs everyone is like…”how was your first day??” with all that joy and excitement.
I love joy. And I want joy and I want excitement.
I love working. Keeping busy, using my brain cells and feeling productive.
But I may be the minority that thinks the first day (the first week?) is pretty stressful.
New situations, new set ups, new computers, new everything and you have to figure out how their systems work. You have to be fit into their world, they don’t fit into yours.

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So I’m making notes and lists to help make the days go smoother and reminding myself that every job has been like this.  With my previous jobs… it took a bit to get better,  but it did eventually get there. And every job I’ve ever had I’ve felt like God led me to it. They all gave back to me in some way. I gained something from them.  I’m trusting I’m supposed to be at this job where I believe this place needs me.
It’s really just -first day nervous blues-. Anyone else have first day blues? Or are you guys all -first day excitement-?
Sean just sat with me and walked me through some basic computer fixes, things I should have remembered from my last job but let’s face it…too many years of migraines and I figure brain damage tosses out anything Outlook wants me to remember. Plus, my computer is Windows 10 and the church uses Windows 7 so…

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Okay…I have some idea. I just have to access those parts of the brain that used to work on Outlook. It’s there somewhere. 

I’ll also be dealing with cleaning and organizing around people who want to do it themselves but they haven’t up until now. So as I’m asking about things or wanting to make changes there may be control issues. Today there was a lot of shuffling and cleaning around me and watching over my shoulder.

I really like my co worker but I don’t do well when watched…I shut down and my brain refuses to work. My old supervisor will attest to that (hey Norma…kiss Margaux!).  Her and I will adjust with time, I think the first week is just tough (positive thinking..).

It’s been years of disarray (apparently three pianos…three that aren’t being used…anyone need a piano? what the hell do you do with used pianos?) so we have to let someone else in to think differently.  I think time will allow that.

And I need to reign in my personality. A lot.

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yeah…wish me luck there…
~~~~
My appointment was hilarious today. It was my six month thyroid appointment where we spent 20 minutes talking about weddings and 30 seconds saying “thyroid numbers are a little low but you look great so I’m leaving you there! see you in six months!”
I love her.
After I left I thought…I should message her and ask where she buys her gorgeous clothes.

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~~~~
This morning I had a hangover from my migraine so I slept hard and I snapped crackled and popped.
I did yoga to work it out.
I wanted to run after work because oh my gosh this day was so beautiful but I had groceries to buy and dinner to make and after the appointment I just didn’t get things done the way I needed to. So tomorrow I will hopefully be on a better schedule.
I’m going to be super busy in the next few weeks,  I have several appointments mixed in with work but oh the weather. The weather!
I do love Colorado. 
Tomorrow I have plans to get a hike in after work and after my appointment.
Michelle!!
It may be my last midweek hike of the year.

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~~~~~
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Run on…

Are you an empath? And what is one? Do I want to be one? Do I have a choice…

So I’ve been interested in the word empath.- Being an empath is when you are affected by other people’s energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others. Your life is unconsciously influenced by others’ desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods. Being an empath is much more than being highly sensitive and it’s not just limited to emotions. -source

I’ve heard it being passed around rather liberally lately and it seems everyone and their neighbor, best friend and cat is an empath (by the way, if your cat is an empath I am highly interested in meeting him or her. Most cats just have one mood and we all know what that is..).

When I hear it I’m taken to Charmed with Piper, Phoebe and Paige, the supernatural empath. I know it’s not the same thing but that’s where my head goes.  I get it. It’s not The Handmaid’s Tale. But we all have a vice and mine was Charmed. Piper got to blow things up. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want that power.  Think of the anger issues that would be abused with that power.

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don’t you judge me one bit…you guys have your television, I have mine.

There was a search plethora of empath results and I didn’t really know where to begin. Most of them were “30 ways to tell if you’re an empath” or “20 ways to tell…” or lengthy little lists like that.
But I grabbed onto Psychology Today for something and found this:
10 Traits Empathic People Share 

1. Empaths are highly sensative-Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually open, and good listeners.
2. Empaths absorb other people’s emotions– Empaths are highly attuned to other people’s moods, good and bad
3. Many empaths are introverted. -Empaths become overwhelmed in crowds, which can amplify their empathy. They tend to be introverted and prefer one-to-one contact or small groups. Even if an empath is more extroverted they may prefer to limit how much time they spend in a crowd or at a party.
4. Empaths are highly intuitive– Empaths experience the world through their intuition. It is important for them to develop their intuition and listen to their gut feelings about people.
5. Empaths need alone time– As super-responders, empaths find being around people can be draining, so they periodically need time alone to recharge.
6. Empaths can become overwhelmed in intimate relationships– Too much togetherness can be difficult for an empath so they may avoid intimate relationships.
7. Empaths are targets for energy vampires– An empath’s sensitivity makes them particularly easy marks for energy vampires, whose fear or rage can sap their energy and peace of mind.
8. An empath becomes replenished in nature– The busyness of everyday life can be too much for an empath.
9. Empath’s have highly tuned senses- An empath’s nerves can get frayed by noise, smells, or excessive talking.
10. Empaths have huge hearts but sometimes give too much– Empaths are big-hearted people and try to relieve the pain of others: a homeless person holding a cardboard “I’m hungry” sign at a busy intersection, a hurt child, a distraught friend.

So I hit 9 out of 10 solid. Number 6 was a no but the rest…dead on. Some of them so accurate I wanted to shout out “yes!”.
So I switched to The Mind Unleashed and went through that list of 30…I know. It’s not Psychology Today but bear with me. It was crazy.

I’m 25 out of 30.

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So…that was interesting. I mean it was a hard 25. No wavering there. I’m going to assume that I’m at the very least highly sensitive and this explains why I can’t read an article to my husband without crying, why I have no interest in watching the truly violent shows (and if I do, I close my eyes at the worst parts…or I leave the room).
I felt a little less crazy, reading that list.

~~~~~

I start a new job this week. It’s part time but I’m my church’s new office admin and I’ll be re-organizing it. I am now officially REALLY busy.
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I like using my brain though so it’ll be good.
I’ve been working with them for about two months so it’s not really new,  just show up at the church and actually be a presence now. There are definitely new duties attached to that.
I do like organizing. Did I mention that? Finding order where there wasn’t.

~~~~~

I’ve felt slightly under the weather all week long. One thing after another just not cooperating. We had crazy weather the other day with 26mph wind gusts. The result was an overall aching and a migraine today. But I drugged up and went straight to sleep.
When I woke up…it was gone.
SHUT UP..I KNOW. I couldn’t believe it either. That NEVER happens.
It was a good day.
I realize it’s odd to hear me say migraine day was a good day but…it was a good day.
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~~~~~
I have a doctor appointment today…a regular Celiac/thyroid checkup. We’ll see if I’m broken or whatever. Grocery shopping. Computer work. It’s going to be a gorgeous week of 70’s so …fall weather, golden leaves and 70*…
this week could not be more perfect.


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yes please. 

Run on…

It’s Friday the 13th and that never gets old.

Some guy called me this morning and asked if he could come over and shower in my house.
I didn’t recognize the number but he sounded nice so I figured…why not?
Turns out I do know the guy.
MT’s friend is in the Army Reserves and he had a PT test this morning before work and his timing was off so he finished on the base and then had to go straight to work. We live very close to the base. So he asked if he could use the shower and then off he went to work.
Military people shower very quickly.
And they are very clean. He folded his wet towel.
Don’t worry, it wasn’t weird. He’s a super nice kid. Once I figured out who he was.  It’s not everyday some stranger calls you and asks that question.
I immediately put his number in my phone. In my defense, I always talk to him on Facebook.
It’s proving to be a fun day already!
~~~~~
I woke up this morning and thought…yeah I should TOTALLY do something cool with my husband today. 

Then I remembered I have theboy coming over!
That’s pretty cool, too.
Last night I went to bed with a serious headache (because I jinxed myself with yesterday’s arrogant little post) and my ankles were quite swollen (what the hell was THAT about? Oh yeah…probably a week of eating cupcakes)  and everything hurt.
Today I woke up with a serious headache, my ankles are normal size (yay!) and I woke up multiple times in the night to crazy leg cramps which we all know is magnesium. But hello..I take magnesium supplements so come on Celiac…allow something to stick please because that hurts BAD.

Well that’s quite a picture, isn’t it?

~~~

As I said,  I spoke too soon. I had a crazy migraine-in-the-making all day yesterday. Nothing serious…it’s just thinking about it. I’m taking good care to not let it get out of hand because I just don’t have time for that.
Pfft….no.
I just don’t WANT it.

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Unfortunately don’t they show up whether you want them to or not? I mean, how do you say no?

~~~~~

Whenever I spend time with my family they always have a million questions about Celiac. And I should have all the answers but sometimes I don’t if you can believe it. Don’t tell my kids.   But I do have Google. And if I don’t have Google I have my sister, Catherine who goes by the nickname…Gacopedia because she is a wealth of useless information.

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This last weekend someone asked if the super high restaurant grill would burn off the gluten thus rendering the grill capable and safe of cooking for me.
I’ll be honest, I immediately thought…nope. And if I had to put money on it (I usually say I’d bet my husband’s paycheck and he usually says to stop betting his paychecks…hahaha)…
I think I hesitated when I answered and said I didn’t think so. I’d have to research it.But I figured …no. I mean…that’s pretty sketch.
Well they were more convinced than I was but I wasn’t willing to risk it. It’s my gut.
Gacopedia came right home and researched that sucker and came up with this article:
Gluten Deteriorates in High Temps????

I skimmed it quick and then asked her…um…if I read it right it says
it sounds like it would but only if left to burn it clean at that high temperature for a ridiculous length of time? Did I skim that super quick accurately enough?
Which basically says to me…NOPE.
But apparently I did not. Full disclosure I seriously SERIOUSLY skimmed it. I really read like two and a half sentences because my mind was not on reading science. I was doing two things at once and I did not want to stop what I was doing to do something else.  I am selfish. I mean I should have but I just didn’t want to right then. So I did the skim. No patience.
She came back and said this:
He basically says that gluten has the strength of ten men and in order to kill it you need to incinerate it to a molecular level. At which point it becomes carcinogenic. So if you are celiac you must simply run screaming away from it.

Well okay then…I’m totally on board with that. Avoid.

One can always count on Catherine to condense things appropriately. Points on finding that article!

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~~~~~

I was going through the grocery store line and clearly buying a significant amount of gluten-free items. I don’t usually pick up this much stuff but I noticed they had new mixes from my favorite place so I grabbed some scone mixes, cake mixes and such. As the check out lady was scanning them through she said, “can I ask you something? How did you know you needed to go gluten free?”
So I told her I had a blood test and an endoscopy that told me I was Celiac. She said her husband gets a rash and the doctors told them he needed a test but he needed to eat copious amounts of gluten. She sounded intimidated.

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She said they never pursued it. It was a few years ago but he still has the rash.
I reassured her it’s simple…just eat normally and it’ll come up on the test. Eat a pizza. Have a sandwich. Don’t stress.
It’s a blood test and it’s not that expensive.
We talked for a few minutes and I sent her to Gluten Dude and his infographic of symptoms. She thanked me as I left and I thought…I need a business card. Every day I answer questions about Celiac. Every day.
I hope she remembers what I told her. She was really nice.

 

~~~~~

I’m feeling pretty normal beyond a little head pain so I’m hoping to have a regular day. Walk the dog, errands, hang with theboy RUN (my head better cooperate)

Yesterday I got a TON of errands done…don’t you love those days? #feelinproductive

#myworkoutwas
I got my steps in
twenty push ups

I know, it wasn’t much but damn it was a rough day.

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I have high hopes for today. Don’t mess with Friday the 13th.

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Run on…

the quick and dirty.

Quick and dirty update on me  and then we’re moving on.
This has been the best round of Botox yet. They said it would continue to improve as time went on and they weren’t kidding. I had one seriously bad migraine and that was it. Otherwise I’ve mostly managed with Excedrin and barely needed it. My skin is a little tender today. That tells me I’m thinking about getting a migraine but I’m managing it so there you go.

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I have not been eating well all weekend and it shows in the fact that I’ve been sick.  I lost my dinner on Friday and every day since. Today I am determined to make it through the day. Eating clean is really important to maintaining my carefully balanced stomach.  My morning today was hot water and lemon (thank you Lord for good things like this!) I’m usually incredibly careful but it was wedding weekend and we were traveling and chaos ensued. And let’s face it, we can have a routine all we want but sometimes we go off the rails. It happens.

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When you talk to someone about something that is on your mind and they come completely unglued about your obsessive behavior and proceed to tell you how nuts you are. Because hey…I didn’t already know that based on the constant movie reel in my head.

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She’s probably wishing she had right about now. ::eyeroll::

I have finally finished putting away the weekend wedding stuff.  Okay, mostly. How nuts is that? There was so.much.stuff. Rehearsal dinner stuff. Food and pans and snacks. Clothes for the weekend and clothes for the wedding. Jewelry and shoes, make up and flowers. So many flowers. I’ve never been happier for the trash guy to get here. If I see another formal gown I might scream. I might just take them to the consignment store.  I need my house back. So much stuff.

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In a classic case of ~can you believe today’s news~ I don’t know if I should be more horrified by the wildfires in California or the years of disgusting abuse by Harvey Weinstein. And Donna Karan…hello??  What the hell? She had to apologize of course. There was no coming back from that.

Here’s a link to helping out for the fires. The losses are so devastating.

Eminem at the HipHop awards. He does not mess around.

Anyone heard anything on Puerto Rico????

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I didn’t do anything yesterday for exercise. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.  Zero. And I felt it. So today I’m going to run because I think I need some quiet time to zen out.
Winter is so close (we’ve already had snow!) so I am going to try and enjoy some fall leaf running while I can.

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Run on…

Anyone remember Honey Buns? Talk about food and the mind does wander…

  • I went with my mom to San Francisco years ago when I was  a young teenager. We got Honey Buns at the grocery store on the corner and thought we’d died and gone to heaven. I could have eaten the whole box. I can’t see a Honey Bun in the store now without thinking of that time with my mom, hangin’ in San Francisco at my grandparents house just eatin’ Honey Buns. #memories #mommemories
  • I’m going to skip right over where I’ve been this busy weekend and say I’ve slowed down from going 159 mph to going probably 90 or so which to me is better. The weather gave me a killer migraine Saturday but on the bright side…THE WEATHER! I think it was building for a few days. It happens and I recovered.
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    it’s just around the corner, Baby, I can feel it. 
    It was 50* this morning. So beautiful. 
  • The Cincinnati Enquirer did an amazing spread on the current epidemic of heroin use that has taken over the country. It’s called Seven days of Heroin. I highly recommend this  impressive piece of reporting. Calling it “in depth” would be an understatement.

    The Enquirer sent more than 60 reporters, photographers and videographers into their communities to chronicle an ordinary week in this extraordinary time~source

  • Honey Bunchies Gourmet Honey Bar  are my newest delicious snack find. Has anyone ever had a Salted Nut Roll?  I don’t know what they did but these Honey Bunchies seriously taste just like  a Salted Nut Roll. They are so amazing I could eat ten of them. Okay, I’ll be honest, I really couldn’t. Truth be told I ate the whole thing but I should have parceled it out and eaten just half at a time. They have 8 all natural ingredients, 230 calories  a bar, gluten free, soy free, grain free and It’s like a giant caramel roll. Serious delicious. I loved it immediately. I paid $1.99 at Safeway.
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  • Who is the Enemy Here?
    A beautiful and haunting article of photographs Time magazine has gathered from various photographers who covered the Vietnam war and the photographs that moved them most. They are really quite moving. My best suggestion is to actually read about the photograph and not just skim the pictures. The photos are obviously stand alone worthy but the personal stories attached bring a light to them we haven’t seen before.
  • “mini cupcakes? As in the  mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of CAKE? Honestly, where does it end with you people??” ~Kevin from The Office making a really really great point. We feel your pain, Kevin.
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  • The Vietnam War– A film by Ken Burns and Lynn Novick  on PBS
    You just have to watch it. You should be able to stream it online.
  • These 2 London museums viciously battled for supremacy on Twitter
    Twitter user asks a question…who reigns supreme? And the battle begins. It’s pretty great.
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  • I did HIIT over the weekend and as much as I love it my legs surely do feel it. The day feels so good (high of 82* so I’ll take it) but I’m going to go down to the incline this evening I think so I can climb and run at the same time. I’m definitely feeling a little off from several weeks of being too busy to incline.
    I did walk the dog, though, and he’s pretty happy now and sleepin’ away. Must be rough.
  • We lost our internet for a ridiculous amount of time so I’m hotspotting it now so I can finish this. Then I’m going to run my errands and make progress on life and if it’s not back by tonight we’ll have to burn the house down. Or go to a motel or something. Yes, I could read a book but Netflix. 
    Who knew I could make progress on life so easily?
    I’m thisclose People. Thisclose.
  • There’s a lot of information in this post. It was a reading/watching weekend while I worked. Good stuff though.
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    Keep working hard…
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    Run on…

all the stairs would be better without this terrible air…

  • Thursday I finished my crazy errands and then I told myself…I must nap.  I set my phone for an hour and totally crashed. I slept until I wasn’t nauseous anymore. That ended up being an hour and a half.
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    By the time I woke up I had to be a grown up and figure out dinner.
    If I were rich I’d so have a chef.  That would be my splurge.
  • I have a friend in Florida and a friend in St Thomas. It took awhile to hear from her but we finally did get the okay from my friend in St Thomas. The island was hit so hard the news was reporting concern for life was their highest priority. I’m over this whole hurricane thing. Climate change. Could we wrap our head around that please? She reported the hurricane was “terrifying”. She lost her entire roof. When they came out after (she has two kids…a teenager and a six year old) the power lines were in the street, the trees were down and there were refrigerators in the street. It was crazy. We’re really grateful she’s okay but there’s another one thinking about a follow up so we’re watching close.
    #hurricaneeverything
  • I have an acquaintance who decided to have a conversation on her page asking for education about Dreamers. She’s incredibly conservative. Her and her friends were quite judgmental and seemed to have one thing on their mind throughout the conversation. They seemed more upset about the legality of everything than whether or not these people were put in a situation they have no control over and are just trying to stay in the only life they’ve ever known. One of her friends seemed offended at the term “dreamers” like who are they to dream? We all have dreams for our kids…and so on… My reasonable darling friend popped on to say…no. dream. It’s an acronym.  I don’t think they read. I think they just hear Fox news and get mad. #dreamers #DACA #bekind 
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  • When you have a good hair day and you don’t want to run… #goodhairday
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  • Yesterday I went  to Shrine of Cabrini with my friend and climbed the stairs~twice~in the terrible awful very bad smokey air. It was bad. I have good strong lungs, I can’t imagine how people are breathing in this with damaged lungs or asthma. My head started to really hurt by this evening and I totally blame the smoke. It’s feeling better but I credit the really expensive drugs. #allthestairs #prayerandexercise 
    We went to Morrison for Mexican food where she spent the lunch hour harassing me and laughing at me because I have a ridiculous amount of energy and she said she was laughing at my facial expressions. I don’t know what that meant but I’m going with good because that’s all I’ve got.  Lunch was awesome except our server forgot we existed~twice~.  TWICE. I’m usually fairly memorable so…that was bad.  I ate my weight in chips and salsa. The whole meal. Just kept eating. It’s okay. You can judge me. I totally don’t mind. #dontjudgeme #Ineedmorechips
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  • Thursday’s workout:
    I walked the dog for 2.5 miles
    I did my yoga
    30 pushups
    30 squats
    Friday’s workout:
    2.5 miles
    climbed Shrine of Cabrini twice
  • I am meeting another friend today and after that Sean and I are going to try and spend an hour or two together. He has some studying to do. I have work to do. I think we’re just looking for some down time. So much stress, he’s pretty worn out. Also…my yard needs to be mowed SO MUCH. That’s getting done for sure.
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    Run on…