I had a plan.

My big plan was to do three posts this week.

As you can see…so far I’m totally on track with that. As long as it’s Wednesday. I mean, it’s Wednesday, right?

I know, it’s Thursday and I’m already off.
We had a funeral at church yesterday and we started the day with pretty much everything going wrong. The church seemed to be out of coffee, the cookie person didn’t bring the cookies. People arrived earlier than you can imagine was possible, someone arrived four hours late…missing the entire thing. The organist dropped her music in the middle of a quiet moment (totally unlike her) and our priest couldn’t find his carefully arranged sermon and had to wing it (also unlike him) only to find it right in front of him afterward. I mean. It was that day.

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Is Mercury in Retrograde? Are the planets out of whack? Is there a full moon?

What the hell?

I did a  lot of moving quickly trying to cover bases and making it look like we had it all under control. Coffee showed up. Cookies showed up. The service went fine and as those of us that have lost someone knows, we don’t really notice those things anyway. It just felt like an off day.

I’ve been working on these fires for weeks and they don’t seem to be getting any smaller. So I’ve been making a very concerted effort to leave work at a reasonable hour each day so I have time to get a workout done. It’s a management thing. I’m only on day two. I’m supposed to get off at 2:30 so making sure to leave by 4:30 at the latest is my big effort.

yeah….I know. I could try harder. But the damn fires.

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I ran Tuesday morning and purposely took Wednesday off thinking I’d run every other day. That’s okay because it turned out  completely out of whack anyway.

Sean flies out today to Virginia to pick up MY BOY (waves to MT).  It’s his boy, too,  but I’m claiming him. Once he moves back here there’ll be plenty of opportunity for him to not be my favorite anymore.   We’re up and out early for the airport. The bonus? That means I have time to run later today! I don’t have to make dinner. I don’t have to feel guilty about staying up late (yep. all the time)…I just have to run and get my work done!

Me either, Rob

I haven’t had a serious strength training/incline/work my ass off kind of work out in weeks and I totally miss it. I’m hoping I can do the basics* for the week until Thanksgiving and then maybe after that I can start a real routine that won’t be so on the fly.

Nothing like starting a job at an Episcopal church right smack during the holidays. #Advent #Evensong #somanybulletins 

~~

The basics*

an easy run
some push ups (usually around 40)
squats please…usually 40 to 60
Give me a plank. Please remind me I have abs somewhere

The thing I’m neglecting more than anything is eating. I have got to remember to eat. I’m snacking more than anything. Fruit on the run. A piece of chicken if I get a chance but usually I just forget. Hopefully I can grab a protein bar if I remember.

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yum.

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Run on…

Did I or didn’t I?

I did.
I found the birth certificate. I know you guys were pretty tense waiting for that answer.

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In case everyone is thinking, “but you’re so organized? and…you’re an organizer!” I just have to say this…
Even someone really organized isn’t perfect and we lose things. And we make mistakes and here’s where I went wrong. 
I gather paperwork together that needs to be filed and I take it up all at once about once a week. The two certificates (Alex has two separate forms…) must have been at the bottom and I just missed that they were there. I always keep those forms in the safe but since I didn’t see them I just automatically put the papers in the “to be filed” file. This is something I go through every few months and properly sort but at least here it’s in the filing cabinet. Well when I put them in that file, apparently those two forms slid into the file next to the “to be filed” file, my mortgage file. I don’t know about you guys but I get my mortgage statements electronically. So the mortgage statements in that file  are several years old (probably six or seven) and in the short line to be shredded) and looking in there would probably not have happened anytime soon.
And thus the problem.
I didn’t even care that it was a mistake or even that it was my mistake. I was so grateful I found it I just walked upstairs and showed Sean. No singing or dancing,  just relief. And then I made eyeballs for the Halloween party.

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Eyeballs which I totally forgot to take photos of and they were cute. But cuter still were the billions of kids (total exaggeration but probably 20 easily) that showed up in costume to Shaughnessy and Adam’s Halloween party. SO CUTE. There were probably 8 ninjas (popular costume this year), several little princesses, one especially cute cowgirl, a grown dinosaur (he was hilarious), a cupcake eating Mario and his brother the Ghostbuster…it was all so fun. I could look at kids in costumes all day long. They were all adorable.
Shaughnessy and Adam hired a magician who was  funny as hell and I only watched her for about ten minutes. She performed for 45! She was great and totally worth it. They had such a big group of people (kids and grown ups) they ended up having the magician outside and it was also about 45* and evening so my body said “hell no”. Too damn cold. I joke but I am always colder when it’s cold and hotter when it’s hot. So I stayed inside but my feet were so cold I couldn’t warm them up. My feet continued to hurt all through the evening and into today. More evidence I am not normal.
Eh…I have other qualities.

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My mom always said to use what you’ve got.

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Shaughnessy was a flapper (and beautiful of course) and Adam was Dracula because he is always Dracula. It’s his signature costume and it’s awesome.   Sean and I were Little Red Riding Hood and Sean dressed up as The Wolf! He was awesome. His costume was so great. I’ll try and get someone to send me a photo.
I was the same thing last year and I wanted to be something different this year but I ran out of time. I love the idea of Little Red Riding Hood but then when I’m there I just feel like I’m someone wearing a red cape and carrying a basket. Sean said that about his hat last year so maybe it’s just us! haha.
We need help wrapping our heads around what we want to be.  Next year, think ahead (anyone holding their breath for that?)

 

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We’ll see.
I was really hoping for photos but I’ll see if I can get some for tomorrow because dang they looked good. SO good.
~~~

I’m working on a BIG project for my job at the church (did I mention I got a job at my church?) as the office administrator. I need to know how to edit video. Anyone have any good tips? Easy software they love…free or cheap? So far the project  has gone GREAT and also…had some glitches that aren’t terrible but we can work with them. I’ll show you the first one when I finish so you can see what it is but then you’ll probably go..yeah, this is boring. But hey…at least you’ll  know what it is.

~~~~~

#myworkoutwas

I did LOTS of yoga both days. I spent the weekend stretching it OUT. I feel so much better I can’t even tell you. I should have run but really just wanted to do yoga because I’ve felt pretty terrible so I honored that and worked on it.

Today I feel kind of the same but it’s a lovely 33* for a high so I might run. It’s really strange not having anything to train for or anything to do. I might have to change that just so I have #goals.  I don’t usually need them to work hard on my running but what the hell, maybe I’m just unfocused right now since I have so much other stuff going on.

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I’m working on it.

Run on…

Are you an empath? And what is one? Do I want to be one? Do I have a choice…

So I’ve been interested in the word empath.- Being an empath is when you are affected by other people’s energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others. Your life is unconsciously influenced by others’ desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods. Being an empath is much more than being highly sensitive and it’s not just limited to emotions. -source

I’ve heard it being passed around rather liberally lately and it seems everyone and their neighbor, best friend and cat is an empath (by the way, if your cat is an empath I am highly interested in meeting him or her. Most cats just have one mood and we all know what that is..).

When I hear it I’m taken to Charmed with Piper, Phoebe and Paige, the supernatural empath. I know it’s not the same thing but that’s where my head goes.  I get it. It’s not The Handmaid’s Tale. But we all have a vice and mine was Charmed. Piper got to blow things up. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want that power.  Think of the anger issues that would be abused with that power.

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don’t you judge me one bit…you guys have your television, I have mine.

There was a search plethora of empath results and I didn’t really know where to begin. Most of them were “30 ways to tell if you’re an empath” or “20 ways to tell…” or lengthy little lists like that.
But I grabbed onto Psychology Today for something and found this:
10 Traits Empathic People Share 

1. Empaths are highly sensative-Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually open, and good listeners.
2. Empaths absorb other people’s emotions– Empaths are highly attuned to other people’s moods, good and bad
3. Many empaths are introverted. -Empaths become overwhelmed in crowds, which can amplify their empathy. They tend to be introverted and prefer one-to-one contact or small groups. Even if an empath is more extroverted they may prefer to limit how much time they spend in a crowd or at a party.
4. Empaths are highly intuitive– Empaths experience the world through their intuition. It is important for them to develop their intuition and listen to their gut feelings about people.
5. Empaths need alone time– As super-responders, empaths find being around people can be draining, so they periodically need time alone to recharge.
6. Empaths can become overwhelmed in intimate relationships– Too much togetherness can be difficult for an empath so they may avoid intimate relationships.
7. Empaths are targets for energy vampires– An empath’s sensitivity makes them particularly easy marks for energy vampires, whose fear or rage can sap their energy and peace of mind.
8. An empath becomes replenished in nature– The busyness of everyday life can be too much for an empath.
9. Empath’s have highly tuned senses- An empath’s nerves can get frayed by noise, smells, or excessive talking.
10. Empaths have huge hearts but sometimes give too much– Empaths are big-hearted people and try to relieve the pain of others: a homeless person holding a cardboard “I’m hungry” sign at a busy intersection, a hurt child, a distraught friend.

So I hit 9 out of 10 solid. Number 6 was a no but the rest…dead on. Some of them so accurate I wanted to shout out “yes!”.
So I switched to The Mind Unleashed and went through that list of 30…I know. It’s not Psychology Today but bear with me. It was crazy.

I’m 25 out of 30.

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So…that was interesting. I mean it was a hard 25. No wavering there. I’m going to assume that I’m at the very least highly sensitive and this explains why I can’t read an article to my husband without crying, why I have no interest in watching the truly violent shows (and if I do, I close my eyes at the worst parts…or I leave the room).
I felt a little less crazy, reading that list.

~~~~~

I start a new job this week. It’s part time but I’m my church’s new office admin and I’ll be re-organizing it. I am now officially REALLY busy.
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I like using my brain though so it’ll be good.
I’ve been working with them for about two months so it’s not really new,  just show up at the church and actually be a presence now. There are definitely new duties attached to that.
I do like organizing. Did I mention that? Finding order where there wasn’t.

~~~~~

I’ve felt slightly under the weather all week long. One thing after another just not cooperating. We had crazy weather the other day with 26mph wind gusts. The result was an overall aching and a migraine today. But I drugged up and went straight to sleep.
When I woke up…it was gone.
SHUT UP..I KNOW. I couldn’t believe it either. That NEVER happens.
It was a good day.
I realize it’s odd to hear me say migraine day was a good day but…it was a good day.
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~~~~~
I have a doctor appointment today…a regular Celiac/thyroid checkup. We’ll see if I’m broken or whatever. Grocery shopping. Computer work. It’s going to be a gorgeous week of 70’s so …fall weather, golden leaves and 70*…
this week could not be more perfect.


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yes please. 

Run on…

About last night.

The events in Las Vegas last night are remarkable and horrific. My heart goes out to everyone involved-the families who lost people they loved, the people who were there as witnesses, as victims to the trauma, forever touched by this event, the first responders who worked to stop the killings and to save the lives. What a disaster of mass proportions. I’ll leave you with this article by Vox:

Gun violence in America, explained in in 17 maps and charts

~~~~~
The following just looks like a boring little link but MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER…click on it. It’s so worth it.

Man Wakes up to Find Entire Family Playing on His Porch

You can see more photos on his Newton’s Fine Art America account here.

~~~~~
Sean and I were out very late last night to help a friend. He’s got a test this morning so he’s running on like…four hours of sleep. If he doesn’t do well I imagine it’ll be due to lack of sleep. Poor guy. It was worth it to be with the people we needed to be with.

Mental health in America is misunderstood as being something that  can simply be brushed off as  a dark mood or maybe someone is a little sad today. Realistically is goes far deeper and there is no stigma today in self care. Self care means everything from eating right, working out on a regular basis, seeing a doctor or a counselor if needed and even, if necessary, taking medication- be it short or long term.

The hardest part of that is actually doing it. Nobody is ever going to presume that this is  easy. There are resources available for you out there- emergent or not. The following are helpful links but I’m going to start with always talk to someone. Tell a friend or family member. Ask for help.
Mentalhealth.gov

1-800- 273-8255 suicide prevention hotline

 suicide prevention

veteran support

If you are struggling today please call @800273TALK or text “TALK” to 741741 @CrisisTextLine. They’re here for you

~~~~
Remember when we were kids and we couldn’t wait until we were grown ups and we’d get to do whatever we wanted to without asking anyone and it was all going to be great because we’d be grownups.
I’m a grown up and I have figured out I have to do things I don’t want to.  I want to say things I can’t say. We don’t always get what we want.
What finally happens is this.
I learn.

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I KNOW>
I’m just curious at what age do I finally REALLY learn?
Ugh. I think I’m there.

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In case anyone thinks their parents have it all figured out…everyone is always still learning.

~~~~~
I ended up very VERY late on Saturday night with my run so I did five miles on the treadmill which ended up crossing over into Sunday morning at 12:30am. I don’t need sleep. I need to make sure I get my workout in.

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When I got up on Sunday we were going at top speed all day.

Church lasted far longer than we could afford since Sean had to study for his test.

We drove to Evergreen to check out some things for wedding weekend and I was hoping to go hiking but the trail was BEYOND popular so we came home for more studying because that sounds like a good time, doesn’t it?  Then our middle of the night run out of town and well…it was…a really really long day.

Update: Sean passed. 
Good thing. He pays the bills and takes care of me. I expect diamonds and pearls. 
Any day now. Diamonds and pearls will totally show up. 

Sunday I just ran out of time. I got my puppy walked. Two miles and lots of steps.

#myworkoutwas
Saturday 5 miles running
Sunday two miles walking 11,000 steps

Run on…

all the stairs would be better without this terrible air…

  • Thursday I finished my crazy errands and then I told myself…I must nap.  I set my phone for an hour and totally crashed. I slept until I wasn’t nauseous anymore. That ended up being an hour and a half.
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    By the time I woke up I had to be a grown up and figure out dinner.
    If I were rich I’d so have a chef.  That would be my splurge.
  • I have a friend in Florida and a friend in St Thomas. It took awhile to hear from her but we finally did get the okay from my friend in St Thomas. The island was hit so hard the news was reporting concern for life was their highest priority. I’m over this whole hurricane thing. Climate change. Could we wrap our head around that please? She reported the hurricane was “terrifying”. She lost her entire roof. When they came out after (she has two kids…a teenager and a six year old) the power lines were in the street, the trees were down and there were refrigerators in the street. It was crazy. We’re really grateful she’s okay but there’s another one thinking about a follow up so we’re watching close.
    #hurricaneeverything
  • I have an acquaintance who decided to have a conversation on her page asking for education about Dreamers. She’s incredibly conservative. Her and her friends were quite judgmental and seemed to have one thing on their mind throughout the conversation. They seemed more upset about the legality of everything than whether or not these people were put in a situation they have no control over and are just trying to stay in the only life they’ve ever known. One of her friends seemed offended at the term “dreamers” like who are they to dream? We all have dreams for our kids…and so on… My reasonable darling friend popped on to say…no. dream. It’s an acronym.  I don’t think they read. I think they just hear Fox news and get mad. #dreamers #DACA #bekind 
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  • When you have a good hair day and you don’t want to run… #goodhairday
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  • Yesterday I went  to Shrine of Cabrini with my friend and climbed the stairs~twice~in the terrible awful very bad smokey air. It was bad. I have good strong lungs, I can’t imagine how people are breathing in this with damaged lungs or asthma. My head started to really hurt by this evening and I totally blame the smoke. It’s feeling better but I credit the really expensive drugs. #allthestairs #prayerandexercise 
    We went to Morrison for Mexican food where she spent the lunch hour harassing me and laughing at me because I have a ridiculous amount of energy and she said she was laughing at my facial expressions. I don’t know what that meant but I’m going with good because that’s all I’ve got.  Lunch was awesome except our server forgot we existed~twice~.  TWICE. I’m usually fairly memorable so…that was bad.  I ate my weight in chips and salsa. The whole meal. Just kept eating. It’s okay. You can judge me. I totally don’t mind. #dontjudgeme #Ineedmorechips
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  • Thursday’s workout:
    I walked the dog for 2.5 miles
    I did my yoga
    30 pushups
    30 squats
    Friday’s workout:
    2.5 miles
    climbed Shrine of Cabrini twice
  • I am meeting another friend today and after that Sean and I are going to try and spend an hour or two together. He has some studying to do. I have work to do. I think we’re just looking for some down time. So much stress, he’s pretty worn out. Also…my yard needs to be mowed SO MUCH. That’s getting done for sure.
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    Run on…

So many dogs. They’ve pushed us over the edge.

  • If communication were a love language...it would be mine.  In case you, too, were hopeful…it’s not.

They should fix that.
I’m pretty sure since all the books are out there, there’s this whole online thing going…it’s a huge industry you know… they probably don’t want to redo a language just because of my suggestion. Maybe it would be easier to just cross it out and make it the Six Love Languages.
Somehow I do not see that happening but it’s a fabulous idea because communication is an awesome love language.
My husband will not see me the entire day and if he sees me at 9pm he’s like…”Hey, wanna go see a movie?”
I think we’re dating.
Since my love language is actually affirmation I’d say it’s probably connected to communication. Just a thought. 😏
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p.s. I do see that the last line of my paragraphs are disappearing into my gifs…I’m trying to fix it.

  • I’m reading The Other Wes Moore by Wes Moore. I’m only about a quarter of the way into it so I don’t have any kind of a review except I am having a very difficult time walking away from it. I’ll keep you posted.
  • I had to take my computer to the church yesterday for a presentation just in case they needed it and I didn’t want my whole life of windows on display for 30 or 40 people so I closed the twelve-something windows I have up I keep a lot of stuff open on my windows. Probably not wise to let people that far into my head. I know you’re all laughing at THAT right now.  #toolittletoolate
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  • Wanna know where my head is most of the time? I keep Argan oil in my cupboard so I can grab it in the morning and at night for my skin. My face is very dry and it loves it. I keep a bottle of Vitamin D oil in my cupboard because being Celiac means my body doesn’t absorb minerals and vitamins so I take supplements besides my diet (foreshadowing!).  My doctor wants me to take liquid Vitamin D for better absorption and its just kind of gross. It’s a dropper and it’s oily and it’s just really quite unappetizing. It’s brief so I suck it up and shoot it down quick. The other night I grabbed my vitamin D…closed my eyes and shot that oil stuff straight in while simultaneously realizing it was my Argan oil…yeah.
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    I think I’ll find somewhere else to put one of those bottles. I totally expect that to happen again.
  • yesterday I worked on favor treats for my son’s rehearsal dinner. I think they came out pretty good for my first try…I made a test batch. His wedding is in a month.

    Hastily done photography…It is late. It was 96* today and I had to keep putting it in the freezer to keep it workable.
    They turned out pretty, didn’t they? Sean says they taste amazing so I think that’s a vote for them. No, they are not gluten free.  I wore gloves and was VERY careful. I used kitchen wipes a lot and there was no flour all ~flyin’ in the air~ so they were easy to work with. They’re also chocolate so I couldn’t have them anyway. But they seriously look delicious. *note~ I have never once ever been tempted to eat gluten since my diagnosis. I’ve been bummed but not tempted* I used the recipe from All Things Simple and her directions were spot on.  I love great recipe direction. Like I said before, I’m an average cook. I can follow direction and I can totally produce but there has to be good instruction and there can’t be ingredients I can only get in Zimbabwe.
    When I finished I sent the photo to a couple people because look what I did!
    I told you. Affirmation.
    I am an open book.
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  • Ford Yates is a Photographer you Should be Following
  • Seems to me a main reason people buy a house so they can freely have pets.  Yes, there are other reasons but that’s a valid one.  An honest disclosure, I love dogs and cats but am afraid of dogs so I love your dog…please keep him over there.  I do have a dog. My Shiba is more afraid of me than I am of him most of the time so we have an understanding. My neighbors all have dogs. Three or four EACH. They all bark…ALL THE TIME> Two of the neighbors are new this month. One of them bought the house and they have little dogs. The other neighbors rent I’m pretty sure and they have three HUGE dogs. Big deep barking~ SO LOUD. I’m sitting here with my headphones on and I can hear it through my headphones. Malachi keeps trying to go outside and rest on his pillow and they bark at him so he comes back inside…lookin’ all sad.
    We’re considering selling. It came up this morning. It’ll take some work. We’ve been waiting for a long time to get some stuff done on the house but kids took priority. Now I’d say we’re pretty done. Somewhere with a little land so a little space. Not too far out but we’re pretty done. We love this place. We love this neighborhood. Oh I love the neighborhood.  I’ll be sad to leave. The barking though, it’s just too much. It has to be on the table.
  • This morning I headed out to do 3.5 miles and somehow forgot to tell time. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but…my brain said I had plenty of time before church only to discover upon re-entering the house that I had to be at church in 30 minutes and there was no part of me that smelled like that should happen. Like…no.
    We made it and were only 10 minutes late…
    I hate being late.
  • What I’m doing: Today I’m going to do a HIIT and it’s supposed to be hot as hell so who knows what else I’ll do. It was WAY too hot to incline this weekend (remember the 96*?) so I’d love to do that. We’ll see.
    Also all the squats, pushups, planks and what not.
    “A good workout is a great way to clear your mind.” It’s amazing how a workout can clear your mind and make you feel so much better. No matter what goes through your mind, after that workout – you’ll feel more relaxed and focused. One of the best ways to clear your mind. Period. www.gymquotes.co for all our workout motivation quotes!

Run on…

When your perfect shoes turn on you.

  • As I was typing last night...I was also scratching scratching scratching. I took my second dose of Benadryl. I went out to run my list down and somewhere in the middle of it I had to stop at the grocery store clear across town and run inside for Benadryl. Standing in the store I did the “itching” dance. I was on fire.  I had a small rash on my arms and everything hurt. I took an Allegra in the morning like I usually do but it didn’t help. I was a mess. Thank the Lord for antihistamines. Today I am much better.

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I
 don’t look like this but I totally wiggle like this because this is my life.

  • I took our friend Damon to the airport this morning…that’s why this is so late. And when I went to his house to pick him up (I’ve never been there before) I totally cracked up laughing.  So…here is an idea of MY house…
     source
    NOT my house…just a random house I found on Zillow…but very similar
    Pretty average. Ordinary suburban house.
    Here is an idea of Damon’s house…
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    add a three car garage to the side and you might be there…freaking huge. The house is HUGE. I think you could put four of my houses in one of his. I laughed so hard. Turns out all of his friends have the same reaction.  We’re close friends to Damon so we’re comfortable enough to say to him, “DUDE. you’re HOUSE is HUGE”. Rather than “what  a lovely home you have” which I would say to frankly anyone else.
  • I went looking for shoes last night and about five minutes after arriving at DSW I found them. The perfect shoes. My dream shoes. The shoes I’ve been looking for all my life. They’re beautiful. They’re comfortable. They were…THE shoes. I looked at the price and they were $49. Oh my gosh they were also reasonable.  I couldn’t believe it.  I continued to walk for another few minutes just in case but I finally thought…nope. I love them. Those are the shoes. So I went back to get them I grabbed the box at the top thus revealing the ACTUAL price of the KATE SPADE shoes I was in total and absolute dreamy love with…$149. Yeah…I missed that little “1” there…
    Sadly..>I put the shoes back. I thought we were friends but no. My feelings were pretty hurt that Kate would turn on me like that but we were obviously not meant to be besties. If I win the lottery those shoes are MINE.
    Below is a picture of  a pair of her shoes that are similar. I can’t find the right ones online. They’re not suede, they’re plain black with cream straps instead and the heel is black GLITTER> Just enough glitter to be gorgeous and not too much to be ostentatious. ::swoon:: The heel wasn’t too high. They were sooo comfortable (I would expect nothing less for $150 shoes).  In my next life maybe…(on a side note I had several women friends that tried very hard to “encourage” me to buy them anyway. We are our own worst enemy! saboteurs 😏
    Main Image - kate spade new york 'jessica' pointy toe pump (Women) source
    #shoeporn
  • My friend in Houston is still dry and thankful.  The rain stopped for her yesterday so they took a walk around the neighborhood if for no other reason than they had to get outside…the kids were going insane. Four years old and cabin fever. Today she sent me a video of the kids with fidget spinners flyin’ around on top of their heads like the Globetrotters and their basketballs. Not only was it hilarious but it clearly showed they have talents beyond the normal four year olds. Promise of a big future. Dream big.
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  • Yesterday I did a quick HIIT and walked Malachi but was itching so bad and so freakin’ high on Benadryl I had to sleep. I crashed so hard I didn’t even move until 8:15 this morning. That’s CRAZY. I’m surprised Sean wasn’t taking my pulse…
  • I bought a dress from Thred Up. Technically I bought two. Anyone else use it? I love the concept and I think I could really use it but I’ve had two fails so far so I think I’m done with dresses.  It’s a second hand store online with nice high end clothing at a significant discount. They don’t have a GREAT return policy. It’s good. I mean, you can return things so there’s that. But you have to do it within 14 days, you have to pay shipping, take the return in credit. So, that sucks. Their measuring system doesn’t seem to be very accurate. I buy a lot of stuff online and I can usually just buy a size without issue but once you start adding in designer clothes you get vanity sizing and it’s a crap shoot. I could wear a size 10 or a size 4. So measuring is critical.  After paying the shipping several times I’ve thrown away too much money and now I’m just going to return the second dress for a refund. I have a credit from the first dress (it was really inexpensive ~yay~) so that’s not bad but the second one is a little painful. It’s just frustrating. I’m settling and I think I’ll wear something I already have. Snoopy Dance that it fits! (first time in several years ~damn fibroid~)
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    I also looked at the selling concept. I really only had one thing to go by that I could think of on the spot and that’s a gown I bought that I don’t need after all. It’s a $400 couture gown with the tags still on it. They have an “estimate what it’s worth” calculator and I had to pick another designer because I couldn’t find mine listed. I picked a comparable designer and filled the rest in and they said they’d give me $9 for it. Ha. I suspect they might give me a little more but probably not significantly more so…I think I’ll keep it😂
  • I walked Malachi this morning and it’s cooling off now so I might go for a run. I’d like to do a HIIT but we’ll see what I’m up for. I gave a little jog from the store to the car and felt such ridiculous joy at that it made me giggle. I love to run so much I can’t imagine not doing it. When I picked up Damon today his house is over where one of my favorite long routes takes me. He was asking me about it and I told him the hard part the beginning.

    Once you reach this particular sidewalk there’s this lovely downhill slope and the view is beautiful, the trees line the street and it just begs for me to run…feet flying down the hill.  I love to run it in the evening just as the sun is thinking about setting and the air is cool…my headphones are on.  It’s my favorite and I wish I was there right now. Running really is my most spiritual place.
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    Run on…

We need to come to Georgetown more often…

Holy Hot Batman…it reached 103* in Aurora today. That’s nuts. I do not appreciate that kind of heat and I’m a little upset about it. I would like to point out it’s 6pm right now and it’s DOWN to 100*. Thank you climate change (global warming…whatever).
MT’s girlfriend, Allie, stayed at the house pet sitting (side note: Skosh fell in love with her and may have tried smuggling himself out in her bag) and we were so grateful. We just totally relaxed and trusted they would be taken care of. Skosh is pretty easy but Malachi is definitely a little more difficult with his anxiety (thank you Shiba Inu puppy genetics) and life in general.
We flew #Southwest We loved nearly every bit of the experience. We didn’t love not getting to sit together and we each got kind of not great seats but in the grand scheme we would get terrible seats with any airline so there you go. Every single employee we ran into was not only cheerful but had a great sense of humor and seemed happy to be there. What is #Southwest doing right? While we waited we were originally told there would be a four hour delay (gasp!) then they stepped it back and said half an hour so actually they apparently fly like I parent.

We headed out at noon and ended up landing in Virginia at 8:30pm to like…90* heat and 147% humidity.
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No no. It’s possible. Totally a thing.
I loved it immediately. I mean, I couldn’t do a thing with my hair and if I lived there I would totally go super short again like I used to. It was awful and hung super straight the whole time. NOT my most flattering for sure. But my skin…oh man. The moment we landed my skin said, “so this is where all the moisture is!”
yes. Yes it is. And you’re welcome!

I loved every minute of it. It was delicious. NO ITCHING FOR FIVE DAYS!

For me, the Itching Celiac (#weirdblognameideas) that was a big deal. I mean, I moisturize like there is no tomorrow. I keep lotions and oils and everything in the house. I am a moisturizing fool. It does me no good.
MT hates it. To his defense, you do feel sticky and hot 90% of the time but really…it was so worth the trade off to me.

Whenever I trip plan I live in fear with each step of the way.  It’s the worrier in me. Did I screw up the flight? I panic until we’re on the plane. Did I screw up the hotel room somehow? I panic until I’m in the room.  What about tours or events? I panic I panic I panic. Finding hotel rooms for the four days was seriously difficult. I got the last ones, no joke, all over the place because it was the fourth of July weekend. Each room apparently only had one bed and they threw a rollaway in the room or there was a pullout. I offered to sleep on one of those for him but he would have had to sleep with his dad and well, there’s not enough love there. Whatever.  Next time I do this I’ll totally upgrade and my kid gets bonus points. He suffered. His bed was thisclose to the air conditioner and he froze his ass off. I OFFERED. I offered many options. He stayed.
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I didn’t really have a whole lot of control over this one. It was just too tightly booked and no give. But I still felt bad. I wish there was another option so he’d have somewhere more comfortable. I would have considered a second room just so he could be comfortable. He suffered through it. I was bummed. It wasn’t about me though, it was about him and we really didn’t want him uncomfortable.
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I don’t sleep well when I’m out of town and definitely not when this much stuff is in my head so I woke up at like…4am. So when I woke up I decided to go for a walk in incredible cool foggy Virginia morning air. I should have run but I thought I’d run later. It never happened so I’m glad I got my four miles in earlier. Then we walked all over DC so I at least got exercise that day!
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On our first day we headed into DC to “see the monuments”. Only we didn’t really want to see monuments because we’ve already seen them before so we kind of wanted to see stuff we hadn’t already seen before and if we walked past monuments then…that’s cool. They’re monuments. Who doesn’t like those? We spent a very VERY hot day in DC with 8,476,300 people who also happened to be in DC at the same time. People were nice and polite and patient considering how crazy it was.  We used to play a game at the dinner table “give me your highs and lows for the day”. So I asked the guys for their best moments of DC…here’s what we came up with.

  1. Exorcist steps. The steps the priest fell down in the movie The Exorcist. I don’t watch horror movies (well I for sure don’t) but this movie I did. Sean and I watched it many years ago when we were really young because the whole world watched it and it felt like it was important. The steps are in Georgetown and I could live there it’s so beautiful. I loved Georgetown so much. As we pulled in to our parking spot just down the street from the stairs, three darling girls walked past the car. MT silently watches. Then says quietly, “I need to come to Georgetown more often…”. I’m sure Allie would disagree.
  2. Arlington National Cemetery. An event in and of itself because it’s so lovely. We loved the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and the guard change. I don’t know how they do it. It was so unbelievably hot and muggy and they were out there in those heavy dress uniforms my own boys have a love/hate relationship with. It’s beautiful in all it’s dedication and tradition.
  3. We wandered from there to the White House. I can’t link it, the page has Trump’s face. I might explode. Full disclosure I did not want to go there. I’m not exactly feeling super patriotic  and I could care less about the White House right now but we were within a half block of it really so we kept going and check it out it was smaller than I thought. Huh. It always seems so blessed huge. While we stood there, we took note of the many uniformed secret service surrounding the building and watching the crowds. Also, MT and I took note of the running vehicle with the two plainclothes officers sitting in it across the street. Totally not average citizens due to the vehicle being in such close proximity to the White House. At some point a guard realized someone had left a backpack behind. Upon much LOUD questioning, no one claimed it and we were all hastily evacuated out of the area. The two guys in the car were suddenly very much involved and right in the center of things.  The guards kept moving the perimeter further and further back…street upon street upon street. Bomb squad people came in. It was pretty damn exciting. What happened then? Oh, yeah…we don’t know. Wasn’t on the news and we didn’t stick around but it was still cool.
  4. We finished the day at GCDC Grilled Cheese Bar which absolutely was the best place we ate at the entire time we were in Virginia. Gourmet grilled cheese, tater tots, beer, tomato soup…I died and went to heaven. SO GOOD> All Celiac friendly. Seriously…amazing. The servers were soo great. They helped Sean out with his soy allergy and were just overall a total “10”.

~~~~~

The world is yours for the taking...will you stand in the way of YOUR LIFE?
Run on…

Seek Ye First… there’s the lesson

My day started yesterday with my house flooding.

It ended with my water heating dying.

Everything in between was just as amazing including a spider (no, he wasn’t small) actually crawling across my keyboard.

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I was going to go for a run but insanity (life) intervened and I had to wait until evening. Evening came and it became one thing after another and then when my sanity was actually at risk the winds were 17mph.

I decided I better not.

Was I bummed?
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Was I messaging someone about the best kind of drink to have?

Hell I was sitting in the parking lot of the liquor store discussing the benefits of Rum and Coke with my brother in law via email. I can always count on his dark sense of humor to make me laugh. And also to guide me to the best alcohol. When I told him I was looking for alcohol, knowing me so well you would expect him to say …don’t do it …it’s not good for you. Instead he said, “I like Rum.” And we went from there.  I didn’t end up caving though because I didn’t have the emotional energy to google what was gluten free and what wasn’t.
In all fairness the liquor store parking lot was the same parking lot as the grocery store but I was still thinkin’ about it. I can’t be bothered to drink. It’s too damn much work and not nearly as much fun as people talk about.

I think I handle most stress pretty well. I know right now you’re thinking…sure you do.
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I’m a ~power through it~ kind of person. I may rant later but what are husbands and girlfriends for? I can usually laugh it off, make a joke here or there. Be practical and say this is what we do and we just have to get through it.

 

I have a lot going on. I carry a lot of emotion, spirituality and intelligence all bundled up in one hot passionate mess.

When I think about how much I have going on and how I’m handling it I want to think I should grow the hell up and what’s my problem. And the other part of me says I’ve just snapped. I handled it and I handled it and I handled it and now I’m just done and rather than scream at the world and tell people exactly what I’m thinking, I choose to have a complete meltdown and process it.

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” ~Luke 6:38 NIV

(side note: my post has now been written twice and disappeared twice. Heavy sigh. Moving forward)

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I took Skosh to the vet this morning where our wonderful doctor said, “he’s the picture of health! He looks WONDERFUL!” It was pretty great news. And then I gave him $200. ( I had to pick up meds for the dog, too, sadly)

On the way to the vet though, the cat was crazy ass on speed stressed and all over the place.  For lack of anything to do for him (he doesn’t like the cat carrier after last year’s injury that had him at the vet every 3 days for a month) I started singing the first song that came to me. It was a hymn my dad used to sing called Seek Ye First. Here is a random person singing it.

I sang it very quietly and he laid down and practically fell asleep. Also, hey God, are you trying to tell me something?
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I did some strength training this morning. I’ll do more tonight and then I’ll run. Hopefully the wind goes home and doesn’t come back to stay. I don’t want it.
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After a day like yesterday running doesn’t always help. We like to think all of our problems are fixed by a good run.
Venting.
Ranting.
Telling someone your problems and getting a lot of advice you really didn’t want and definitely didn’t ask for…that doesn’t help for sure.

What helps is time with real actual problem solving.  Talking to someone who makes a real honest legitimate effort to listen to you, to not judge you and to not offer unsolicited, mean spirited advice to you. Whether that is through a strong sane calm friend or therapy.    And I think learning to work within your emotional and spiritual limitations recognizing we all  have limitations. The point where we finally say we’re done and we aren’t going to not take care of ourselves anymore.
I believe there has to be a way to be a kind, generous person and also take care of yourself. To give and give lovingly with an unselfish heart.

Sometimes life is heavy. My usually joyful heart (ridiculously happy actually) is a little heavy right now. In a day or two I’ll be better. I get to see MT #thekidnotthestate

Remember…#bejoyful #bekind 

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Run on…

Do you have to say every thought out loud?

Sean went to work yesterday which meant…

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The honeymoon I mean. He’s supposed to stay home with me allthetime!

See, I typed that BEFORE and then he came home from work and told me a little about his evening. And I started to tell him about my day and his eyes glazed over. And I said, “yeah, you’re not even listening. I’m not even going to bother talking to you about this. Whatever”. And I got up and left the room. I came downstairs, made him dinner and seriously I’m pretty sure he has no clue what freaking happened upstairs in his office. Not one word. I think he thinks I was talking, he responded, I just gracefully (because I’m so graceful) left his office to go make dinner and all was right with the world.

Dude. ::shakeshead::
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Now I’m totally okay with him going back to work.
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It’s a good thing I like him.

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I went to see my friend yesterday and her mom is going through counseling for gastric bypass. The counseling lasts a year long…they’re incredibly careful about making sure you are psychologically ready to take such a drastic step and that you recognize how you came to be in such a position to begin with.  After a lot of counseling and discussion one of the things they have learned is she has a family member that is “encouraging” her to lose weight and diet. She’s constantly on her about her appearance and according to the psychologist this has the opposite effect. It took me 20 seconds to find an article about it. It’s crazy. There’s a fine line between being encouraging and being demoralizing which causes the exact opposite reaction.

We want people to be healthy. Appearance CANNOT BE the  primary focus in our lives.  We have to move OUT of that mindset and recognize the old way of thinking was broken. It was broken.  The person has to want to change, they have to do it on their own, harassing, nagging and effectively wearing them down emotionally because you don’t like how they look is not only not going to work but they’ll feel horrible and sad and bad about themselves for your agenda. 

SCIENCE SAYS: Nagging Your Family Members To Lose Weight Has The Opposite Effect

However, she went on to explain that pressure from family to lose weight can increase stress, which is a known cause of weight gain. “We all know someone who points out our weight gain or offers to help us lose weight. These results suggest that these comments are misguided.”

I don’t blame my parents for my weight gain; my choices and lifestyle have been my own, and there are a number of other emotional factors that have contributed. But nagging me to lose weight — even when it’s done with the best of intentions — hasn’t helped. I want to lose weight. I just don’t want to talk about it with them, especially when I’m not the one bringing it up. ~xojane

We learn in grade school that words hurt.  Women need to support each other and remember the struggles that brought us to where we are. That we are made up of more than the weight we carry. We are more than the body image people see and judge. If how someone looks is that important perhaps we need to look internally and ask ourselves is this about them or is this about me?   Their life isn’t about you and you hurt them every time you bring it up.

I have a family member who is overweight. She doesn’t mince words, she knows the situation she’s in. She recognizes her life and the work ahead of her. She’s beautiful, smart, talented pretty damn honest about the fact that her weight is her business and  extremely personal. It’s her story. She knows what she needs to do and encouragement, nagging and harassing is the exact opposite of that. I don’t talk to her about her weight, her diet, her exercise or what she wears. It’s her story to live and if she wants to talk to me about it, she will. 

Leave your friend or family member to do this journey on their own. If they ask for your help then you can give it.
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No! I don't think I would be. It'd kind of be a good reminder if they bleed from the inside out. We would all be a little more careful with our words
Run on…