too many grocery stores.

The beginning of the week at work is crunch time. So I stayed late to try and get stuff done but my head is at maximum pain level right now (Botox on Wednesday) so I left and went to get groceries.
The refrigerator is glowing with it’s emptiness.

So I stopped at the commissary, the military grocery store we have access to due to Sean’s 20 year service in the Air Force.
I love our military benefits and am immensely grateful for them. Sean was 10 years active duty and 10 years reserve duty so we only have partial benefits but they are still a lot of benefits and we use them.  The commissary, though, is not my favorite.  I always end up leaving with a long list I couldn’t get because they’re out. It’s beyond frustrating because who has time to run to different stores? This is the time that people are ordering and having groceries delivered and I’m running to multiple stores. It’s quite ridiculous. They carry 10 different kinds of beans but they’re out of 8 kinds. they carry 4 different kinds of frozen potatoes we can eat but they’re out of 3 versions.  By the time I leave all the options I’ve come up with for dinner are out and my head is done. I buy Sean a pizza and decide to go to the other store tomorrow.

Every time I feel guilty for not utilizing enough of my military benefits that are so good for us I’m going to remember this because what it saves me in money it loses me in time.

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~~~~~
My request for video help yesterday came through in droves and now I have people lining up to help me!

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Yeah…that didn’t happen.

It was a longshot. So hopefully today or tomorrow I can start the studying and figure out if I have any idea what I’m doing. My favorite child (MT, remember? He reminds me every time he talks to me that he’s my favorite) has mentioned he might know someone and if he really does he might actually be my favorite.
It’s a revolving door.
I told theboy that his mom was my favorite and he burst into tears. He’s used to being the favorite. Gonna be a sad day when anyone else has a baby. I’ve definitely set myself up there, haven’t I?

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~~~~~
I’m thinking I’m going to do the Revel Half marathon in Evergreen Colorado. It’s June 2nd. Andrea was looking for a race then and I steered her to this one and it’s one we’ve been looking at for a long time. Shaughnessy ran it a few years ago and loved it. I missed running races so much that I’d like to say I’m aiming for that. I always struggle with goal races out loud because I get injured, I have a family emergency, I have to have surgery, really there’s a number of things that happen but I figure what the hell. I can at least think about it and in my head keep it there. It’s popular so I’m going to keep a close eye on it. Kat and Kristen want to do a race, too so we are looking at one we can destination to so I may do that. Too many options. We were looking at one in California but I don’t know if we still are…I’ll be honest…that one looks amazing but it requires camping. hahahhaha. I’m going to have to think about that one. CAMPING.
Before a race. Hmm
Thoughts? Has anyone else done this before?
It might not be so bad. I’d have to travel with my camping gear.  That sounds like a good time.

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~~~~~
The commissary has very limited specialty ice cream. I noticed they had my soy ice cream but only chocolate flavors. So I grabbed this:

This is a big fat nope. 
Just…no.
Anyone ever had ice milk?
That’s what it tasted like. Flavored ice milk. I took two bites and it was …hard to take the second bite. So bad. And if anyone is asking, I didn’t buy it for the big fat “35 calories” on the front. They just don’t offer a whole lot there that’s gluten free, especially in a small container. So I tried it. And salted caramel is a decent flavor. But…again…
nope. I do not recommend this.
But I really REALLY wanted ice cream tonight. When my head is this bad I really want comfort food. Easy comfort food so I tried.
I ended up having scrambled eggs and sausage.
Breakfast food is pretty good!
Not as easy as opening a container but still pretty good.
Not as pretty as those fancy blogs that post their food all the time and they look like …well whatever. They look delicious and fabulous.
But damn I love scrambled eggs.
~~~~~
#myworkoutwas
Dude. I went to bed. My head was bad.
I may just stick with yoga again today just to relax and breathe in preparation for Wednesday. It’s really hard to get Botox with a migraine already.

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Run on…

Did I or didn’t I?

I did.
I found the birth certificate. I know you guys were pretty tense waiting for that answer.

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In case everyone is thinking, “but you’re so organized? and…you’re an organizer!” I just have to say this…
Even someone really organized isn’t perfect and we lose things. And we make mistakes and here’s where I went wrong. 
I gather paperwork together that needs to be filed and I take it up all at once about once a week. The two certificates (Alex has two separate forms…) must have been at the bottom and I just missed that they were there. I always keep those forms in the safe but since I didn’t see them I just automatically put the papers in the “to be filed” file. This is something I go through every few months and properly sort but at least here it’s in the filing cabinet. Well when I put them in that file, apparently those two forms slid into the file next to the “to be filed” file, my mortgage file. I don’t know about you guys but I get my mortgage statements electronically. So the mortgage statements in that file  are several years old (probably six or seven) and in the short line to be shredded) and looking in there would probably not have happened anytime soon.
And thus the problem.
I didn’t even care that it was a mistake or even that it was my mistake. I was so grateful I found it I just walked upstairs and showed Sean. No singing or dancing,  just relief. And then I made eyeballs for the Halloween party.

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Eyeballs which I totally forgot to take photos of and they were cute. But cuter still were the billions of kids (total exaggeration but probably 20 easily) that showed up in costume to Shaughnessy and Adam’s Halloween party. SO CUTE. There were probably 8 ninjas (popular costume this year), several little princesses, one especially cute cowgirl, a grown dinosaur (he was hilarious), a cupcake eating Mario and his brother the Ghostbuster…it was all so fun. I could look at kids in costumes all day long. They were all adorable.
Shaughnessy and Adam hired a magician who was  funny as hell and I only watched her for about ten minutes. She performed for 45! She was great and totally worth it. They had such a big group of people (kids and grown ups) they ended up having the magician outside and it was also about 45* and evening so my body said “hell no”. Too damn cold. I joke but I am always colder when it’s cold and hotter when it’s hot. So I stayed inside but my feet were so cold I couldn’t warm them up. My feet continued to hurt all through the evening and into today. More evidence I am not normal.
Eh…I have other qualities.

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My mom always said to use what you’ve got.

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Shaughnessy was a flapper (and beautiful of course) and Adam was Dracula because he is always Dracula. It’s his signature costume and it’s awesome.   Sean and I were Little Red Riding Hood and Sean dressed up as The Wolf! He was awesome. His costume was so great. I’ll try and get someone to send me a photo.
I was the same thing last year and I wanted to be something different this year but I ran out of time. I love the idea of Little Red Riding Hood but then when I’m there I just feel like I’m someone wearing a red cape and carrying a basket. Sean said that about his hat last year so maybe it’s just us! haha.
We need help wrapping our heads around what we want to be.  Next year, think ahead (anyone holding their breath for that?)

 

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We’ll see.
I was really hoping for photos but I’ll see if I can get some for tomorrow because dang they looked good. SO good.
~~~

I’m working on a BIG project for my job at the church (did I mention I got a job at my church?) as the office administrator. I need to know how to edit video. Anyone have any good tips? Easy software they love…free or cheap? So far the project  has gone GREAT and also…had some glitches that aren’t terrible but we can work with them. I’ll show you the first one when I finish so you can see what it is but then you’ll probably go..yeah, this is boring. But hey…at least you’ll  know what it is.

~~~~~

#myworkoutwas

I did LOTS of yoga both days. I spent the weekend stretching it OUT. I feel so much better I can’t even tell you. I should have run but really just wanted to do yoga because I’ve felt pretty terrible so I honored that and worked on it.

Today I feel kind of the same but it’s a lovely 33* for a high so I might run. It’s really strange not having anything to train for or anything to do. I might have to change that just so I have #goals.  I don’t usually need them to work hard on my running but what the hell, maybe I’m just unfocused right now since I have so much other stuff going on.

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I’m working on it.

Run on…

I am at a loss but I’ll keep going.

I’m off today and I slept. As long as I could. This morning the temperature is 27*. That’s just wrong. It was 83* on Wednesday. So it’s cold. I am relaxing while I work. Did I mention the sun is shining GLORIOUSLY and it’s so beautiful it looks like it’s 70*.
It lies.

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My morning consisted of sweats, laundry, floors, dishes and some computer work and then getting my nails done because when my nails start coming apart it’s crisis mode and those suckers have to get done or they’ll peel down to nothing and become very bad.

After that I’m going to head over to Miss Shaughnessy’s house to help with party stuff. They are having their “annual Halloween Bash” which officially became annual this year.

Oh what did I do yesterday?…
tore the house apart, thankyouverymuch. I have paperwork on every surface of my house. All over the floor in the spare room. All over the couch and the floor of the family room. The living room has papers on the floor, the couches and the coffee table and my bedroom has paperwork on the desk under the television.
Alex is attempting to go on his honeymoon and his birth certificate has gone AWOL. It’s gone. Disappeared. Nowhere to be found. He insists I have it but I have zero clue where it would be. I keep those things in the fire safe and it’s not there. So….now I’m frantically tearing the house apart. He’s rather halfheartedly looking on his end because he believes I have it.
Alex was born in Germany when we were stationed there so his birth certificate replacement requires a LOT more than the average person. It requires an affidavit and a notary and sending money to Washington DC and then waiting patiently (hello, they’ve already paid money, they have tickets) It’s a pain and takes time. Did I mention he needs a new passport? Here’s his old passport…it expired, oh..I don’t know…a few years ago….




Just a little overdue for a new one.
But the emergency here is the birth certificate.  Feel free to pray on this for me. We could use all the help we can get.
Right now I’m attempting my ~think about something else. clean the house. Focus on work. Plan other things. ~ And it’ll come to you.

It’s very hard to do that. Also, going through all this stuff is really hard and I’m cleaning again. I know. AGAIN.

All I can think about is if I die tomorrow my poor kids have to deal with all of this.

I just don’t want to leave it for them. If I leave them four bookshelves of books they can haul it off to Goodwill or portion it out to friends but boxes of emotional paperwork? pfft…that’s just no good.

It’s really important that we think about this stuff before our stuff takes over our entire house  and we just keep right on moving forward oblivious to the impact our lives will have on other people.

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So I’m searching, cleaning and also become completely overwhelmed and slightly unglued.

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~~~~~
I’m going to try and get a run in later but I’m going to do a mini strength this morning.

Some squats, push ups and planks.
I miss working out!

I have to go, super late.

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Run on…

vanilla midgees and mini salsas. One of these makes me really really happy.

On Sunday we went to dinner with the kids for Shaughnessy’s birthday. They are not kids. They are grown adults. But they will always be kids. My picture is very sideways and I tried to steal Adam’s picture but he only puts it on Instagram. You can’t take it from Instagram. Sorry. Just accept that she was beautiful and let’s move on.

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~~~

I went to Target the other day and when I left I was approached for cash. It happens. I think I’ve talked about this before. I give cash because I don’t want to pass any judgement on who is lying and who isn’t so I just figure it’s up to my Higher Power to judge. I’m just going to trust and give if I have it.

At Target, though, it is a different story.
Some information on our Target…the police officers I used to work for told me it’s a pretty dangerous area of Aurora and not to go there in the evening at all. The high number of apartments across the street make it a very high drug deal area which make it a very high crime area. Weirdly, you wouldn’t know this by visiting it. It seems like a nice area. So I just go at other times of the day. But there are ALWAYS people asking for money. ALWAYS. I’m usually on the lookout and careful but sometimes there’s just no avoiding people. I’ve been approached by the same person with the same “my car broke down and needs gas” story multiple times in multiple weeks and by more than one person. I’ve been approached in the dark by men in the parking lot (it gets dark early! Sometimes I’m just getting off work).  I just don’t love the whole situation.

So yesterday I was approached by a guy who very gruffly says, “don’t kill me but… (um…what?) I’m trying to get bus fare. I’m a veteran!”
Then he pulls out his military ID to PROVE it to me.
Dude. That’s just wrong.
It felt wrong, anyway.
So I told him he didn’t need to tell me he was a veteran and he certainly didn’t need to prove it to me. Everybody needs help sometime. And I gave him a couple dollars.
He got quite mad and confronted me and said, “what am I supposed to say then? What do I say??” as he moved slightly towards me.
I took a step back from him. I told him that him that telling me he needed help and was having a hard time was enough for me and I’d still give him something because everybody has troubles.
I think that being a veteran definitely plays a factor in giving. There are far too many of our veterans that are on the streets. Mental illness, PTSD, and the constant struggle with unemployment feeds all of this and causes family issues that are impossible to manage leading to veterans with no other real answers but to go to the streets.
Sean and I talked about it for a while because I was debriefing from the situation.  We’ve both given money to the vet on the corner carrying the cardboard sign that clearly says “out of work vet” or the guy wearing the veteran hat so why is this different? We finally recognized the issue in front of us was his pushing so hard to make sure I knew he was a veteran. He was pushing the issue so hard it became offensive.  To the extent that he pulled out his card to prove it. It was very uncomfortable.
~~~~

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I know, right?
~~~~~
Can anyone tell me why you would need these??

You can see the regular size jars next to them…they’re tiny little jars of salsa
taaahhhny little jars of salsa.
Why would anyone need tiny little jars of salsa? I need gallon jars of salsa. I would go through this jar of salsa in one sitting.

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~~~~~
I haven’t done anything but work and sleep in the last week. I feel like I haven’t done anything but work and sleep since the wedding except a little yoga to make my leg feel better. I mean I probably have but not much. I am in 100% exhausted mode 100% of the time. My right leg has been bothering me quite a bit. It already was, then the great hike of October did not help so I’ve been kind of limping a little- favoring that side.

Last night I walked Malachi for the first time in weeks and it felt so good to stretch out my legs and immediately I had progress. My body clearly was saying I need to keep moving.
#myworkoutwas
walking the dog. Yeah, that’s all. Just that.

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I’m not really injured…just need to rest my leg.

run on…

South Mesa Trail~ we almost didn’t make it back

So, I’ve been gone. I have started a post twice but that’s as far as I got. Even as I type I’m nearly asleep at the computer so I may have try again in the morning. I’m pretty tired. I’ve just been too freakin’ busy and I’m really sorry.

On Sunday Michelle and Sean and I went hiking in a little place called South Mesa Trail in Boulder. Michelle asked if we wanted to take a trail hike and the place is supposed to be haunted.  Murders and such, right?

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Well, hell…I’m always up for an adventure. Count me in!
We had planned on doing four miles…maybe five. A nice moderate Sunday morning hike just hangin’ out and having a good time.

Oh what fools we were.

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Michelle had looked at the map. Sean had glanced at the map. I don’t look at maps if I’m with them because why? They’ve totally got this.

Except they didn’t.
We knew there were a few side trails that would cut us short and we’d end up back at the trailhead after just a mile or so. And we knew there was a really LONG hike that was like…11 miles. But somewhere in there was the 5 miler if we just stuck to the plan.
So we walked a lot of uphills.  A nice trail with uphills that crossed a creek, passed the short cuts and did everything it was supposed to. And then it started getting more technical. And we were really climbing. I kept thinking we should be turning or something but…still climbing and seriously more technical.
I mean…it was definitely hiking.
warning: worst photos ahead. explanation after the photos

  

But it quickly became bouldering. We were scrambling and bouldering and it was crazy because I love that kind of hiking but I’d rather be more prepared for it. In my head I was thinking…we’re on the 11 mile trail. I just know we are.
It was at the point that I took this picture that Michelle said, “this kind of hiking is how people get lost.”
I turned away from taking the picture and this is what I saw, ”

There are TWO PEOPLE in that picture but they LEFT ME. It took 30 seconds to snap those photos (the only photos I took, mind you, since the Andrettis were in such a freakin’ hurry. Seriously, her shirt is screaming red so if you don’t see her it’s because she abandoned me in my hour of need.
SO WRONG. You can bet I harassed her about that.
We kept on moving and climbing and scrambling and so on and I was lamenting the fact we’d seen no one else and half the time we couldn’t see the trail and spent a few seconds stopping and looking or having to backtrack when blessed me….someone came up behind us.
I asked her if she’d done the trail before and she said she had. She asked what we were looking for and Michelle told her the trailhead at Eldorado and she said, “ohhhhhh” in a very doomsday moan.
I don’t know…for some reason we just didn’t take that as a good sign.

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She told us we were definitely on the 11 mile hike. She advised continuing but we voted going back because the devil you know and all that.

It was way easier going back though my right knee had been giving me trouble for several weeks already and in the last week was so angry it’s been going out on me. I know I need some yoga and strength work with it but hiking did it no good. The stomping down the rocks on it was very hard on it. I’m not running on it. I’m going to be icing it and resting it and giving it a break for another few days but then I’ll see what it can take. When you don’t use it you lose it and I know that’s contributing to it now.

We were so tired and spent and exhausted we didn’t even take a little group picture, how dumb is that?

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All three of us were so sick of nature and the same stupid views we just wanted to leave (it’s okay, feelings are temporary). We went home to try and rest before Shaughnessy’s birthday dinner that night. It was a long day. Okay, Sean rested because his day was particular difficult. He’d been carrying weights for some training he is doing for an event and man…the extra miles and unexpected terrain definitely kicked his ass a bit. I just got in the shower and hung out there. It was delicious and I would like to be there now. #alwayscold.
We really did love the trail but yeah…probably the one we were supposed to be on.
The end result was this…what was going to get us, the ghost of the murdered victim? Or the hike up the wrong damn killer trail? Obviously the hike= and none of us were goin’ out that way for sure. We’re from Colorado. We have standards to maintain (I talk big…we pretty much really hated nature at that point).
We hiked 6.5 miles. Not that far over what we started out asking for but there was some tough climbing there.  Glad to be done with that, at least for now.
~~~~~
Thanks for stickin’ around. I am attempting to be on the ball. I may be sleeping on it but I’m on it.

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Run on…

the real world.

I called my sister to check in and she had spent the day in the car running errands which we’ve all done and it’s no fun at all. Traffic and frustration, sitting down all day and just generally feeling like you’re getting nothing done but being in the car. It wasn’t a terrible day, she’ll live. It just wasn’t her favorite. I would have been near tears. I can’t stand being in the car all day. It makes me itchy to move. But the worst part was the first thing she said to me was…I’m sorry about your purple fingernails.

She said she was sorry I had purple fingernails.

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It definitely makes you feel thisbig (you have to put your fingers together really tiny to make that visual work…).

I don’t talk to her every day so I thought I would explain that I may have purple fingernails but that’s not my life. I mean…I have real life issues that I just don’t post about because people happy posts. They like happy stuff. I know. You’re thinking…are you kidding? You write about happy stuff?
Hey now. Watch that attitude.

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Here’s a quick look at the top things on my mind #rightthissecond because that’s how my head works. It’s never one thing. Remember, there’s an equal number of happy thing on my mind so it’s not just these things. These are just real life.
Yes, my son got married (pretty happy and exciting!) but this payday my budget is so freaking tight because I basically bought a car for that rehearsal dinner.
I love my 2005 Jeep Liberty so much I intend to drive it until it dies right there on the street. I needed an inspection for this year’s registration so I did a search to aid the passing of said inspection because I’m apparently leaking fluids that I can’t identify since I don’t see leaks and I assume I’m burning oil (going through oil and my last mechanic told me I had many leaks). That CAN’T pass, right? I put just the right amount of gas in (not too much, not too little, Goldilocks) and I drove on the interstate to get it nice and warmed up and I got the oil changed the day before and I swear to God above I prayed the whole time it was getting inspected because I can’t replace a car right now and I can’t pay to get it fixed. It passed.

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I started a new business nearly a year ago that is succeeding beautifully at failing. Because I am an overachiever and hey…we all have to be good at something. But damn it looks good while it’s doing it. But I love it so much I’m determined. I actually had a friend ask me the other day, “and what is that…other thing…you have…that…business thing…you have?? I don’t really know what it is…” And thus you have the crux of THAT problem. My business has a giant identity problem.

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I have a great new job that is part time and it is giving me some pretty awesome validation because they love and appreciate me there.  Moving on… my husband said (totally paraphrasing) ~it’s too bad. Any money you actually make will be gone to taxes so you may as well not. I mean, I know you like it so…I guess you can for that…you know…because you like it…”. Pretty sure there was a virtual pat on the head there but I can’t guarantee it. In case you’re wondering, yep. He’s still my favorite. Shocking, I know. He’s really nice and he’s cute and I get to brag about “my husband is sooo smart… ” I’m shallow like that.
I figured out a few weeks ago that my OCD is strong enough it overrides my need to run. I have to get things done or I can’t concentrate on even getting out the door. So my run goes to the wayside. Do I prefer that? Nope. I’d way rather run but it is what it is. So when I have a lot of balls in the air, I don’t find the time to get it done. On the rare occasion I’m able to push through it’s pretty amazing and I celebrate those times.
I’m helping plan a wedding with my  sister Catherine (who I love and adore over most anyone in the world) and her daughter “B”. I’m pretty sure I’m making my sister crazy totally by accident.   I was talking to her just today and said something about both B and I talking to the same person and that person doesn’t have time to answer both of us and Catherine said that person should have replied to both of us. Then the lightbulb. I should have courtesy copied B on the correspondence and from now on I will. I don’t think about that because B doesn’t love email but it’s really just courtesy (it’s built right into the name!) and I don’t know why that didn’t occur to me before now because that’s something I would do. Anyway, thinking smarter.  It’s innovation. Sister Catherine sounded irritated. Whatever, we’re moving on.

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I have a pile of things I have to sell since the wedding. Formal gown, pretty awesome floral bouquets, table numbers…things like that.  Selling things is hit and miss. Sometimes you’re hot. Sometimes…things just don’t go. I suspect it’s going to be that way.  And until they sell they take over my living room as a constant reminder of what I have to get done and also because I have nowhere else to put them.
I can…without any thought whatsoever...throw out ten massive things that have to be repaired/replaced/renovated (I just needed another “r” word) and any one of them could go at any time. I predict Christmas.

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I JUST remembered I have to buy a plane ticket…I shoulda married a pilot. Or a mechanic. Yeah. A mechanic. ~as I say this I remember my amazing, kind, wonderful, thoughtful husband left his work today to come to mine (he makes like more than four times what I do so that’s money well spent) to do a quick computer thing and spent four hours there fixing the problem. Four hours. It was crazy. My IT guy is pretty awesome.
And if we’re rounding it to an easy 10 things…I hated my hair so much at the wedding. So much. And I’m pretty sure every picture of me will look really really bad. Like..I’m going to hate them. And everyone will say, “you hate all pictures of yourself.” No I don’t. I really like the one up here on the right. And the one in my about page. And I have some family pictures I like. And photos with Sean. I like some photos. But I won’t go into details because I just know I won’t like it. And I’m pretty sure I’ll get a big ol’ family photo for Christmas I’ll have to display and act like I love and if I never see it again I don’t care. Plus my husband’s step mom brought her camera to the wedding and people always think you’ll love all photos of your family without thinking if everyone likes the pictures. And sometimes they just don’t! Photos should be screened by the family before being reproduced and passed around to everyone which I think is really really rude or being posted and tagged in front of everyone. That’s happened to me before.  Be thoughtful. My generous tip of the day.  And no, I’m not just being paranoid, I’m saying this about everyone who had their picture taken that day because I know every person in my family and I know how they all feel about photos and it’s courtesy to think beyond yourself.
No Mom, I don’t need therapy.

So yeah…sometimes I just want to think about … geez don’t you hate it when you get your nails done and they’re PURPLE?  

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It just gives me something to laugh about, that’s all. Purple fingernails. 😎

~~~~~
#myworkoutwas
I got my steps in (I know, you’re kind of unimpressed but again, I was at work for so long and we had no food we were starving so…that’s where it went. My time I mean).
60 squats
60 push ups

Top Ten Quotes Of The Day

I’m working on it, okay?
Run on…

Purple fingernails. Not so much.

Two weeks ago my son got married and today I have a totally great hair day and my makeup is perfect. I’m starting to lose faith in the universe. Just sayin’.

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~~~~~
Work yesterday was much better. I went in for a few hours and it was find but later I went back when the office was empty and I could actually think. It’s a small office and a LOT of people go through it. So in the quiet of the evening I “finished” the project I was working on. I know it’ll need some tweaking but I made great progress. And I found a box and put anything extraneous I could find in that box. Plastic filing do-hickeys that people buy because they’re “going to get organized”, three tape dispensers, 8 staplers and too many cords to count but no one knows what they’re for.  I couldn’t think straight with all that stuff. I still need to vacuum and clean the desk off. Then I’ll be better. Flowers maybe. The office needs flowers.

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~~~~~
Michelle and I took a long lunch yesterday and went hiking which is the best way to spend the afternoon in October in Colorado.  We got away with no snakes (no snakes!) and came in under 2 hours so we were able to stand at the car for awhile and be judgey inappropriate friends that share too much.  Yeah, we know. We’re probably going to hell. But I’m hoping I can build up enough good Karma I can win positive points back. I don’t suppose it actually works that way…
Pfft…I’ll be the one at the pearly gates and St Peter will be all “well if you were a little less JUDGEY …”
yeah yeah yeah.
~~~~~
When I was a little kid there was a time I stood in a department store and declared, “haff yah eveh seen poiple UNDIES?” rather loud through out the store. I’ve always had a thing for purple. The darker the better. Preferably nearly black.
I had enough time to get to my nail appointment where my really awesome nail girl was totally happy to give me the “darkest purple she  could find” which…it turns out…

…isn’t that dark.

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sigh. Probably mine because I’m agreeable. She was so excited! She had the PERFECT color! I hated to say…yeah….
No. 

So I didn’t. I took it. And now my fingernails are “Halloween” purple which is a little brighter and “out there”. (play Twilight Zone music in your head as you read that)
I have purple nails. Me. Purple. French tip me. Boring me.
It’ll take some adjusting. At my age we aren’t supposed to hope time passes quickly but…
I am kind of hoping time passes quickly so I can get my nails redone. I’ll just get the color I had before it was SO pretty.
My advice for the day…choose your purple wisely.

Stupid purple.
~~~~~
I’m reading John Green’s new book Turtles All the Way Down and I highly recommend it. Anxiety and mental illness are just never talked about enough. Dismissed with a “hope you feel better soon” or a sad face on Facebook, I see friends going through this all the time. Recognizing someone has issues of anxiety or mental illness is a simple matter of honoring who they are. After that basic human kindness usually follows. Usually.
~~~~~
Today I am visiting my friend after work and if I don’t get a run done in the morning (which I probably won’t because I’ve been walking the dog in the morning) then I’ll get a run in later.  It’s beautiful outside and I want to enjoy this week as much as I can. It’s so late in the year you never know what the next week will bring.
#myworkoutwas
Hour and a half hike with Michelle
Walked the dog for two miles
for a total of 20,000+ steps
I miss strength.  Tomorrow….tomorrow I strength train.  #weakarms
~~~~~

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Run on…

What’s in a name?

I listen to Pod Save America. 
Four former aides to President Obama — Jon Favreau, Dan Pfeiffer, Jon Lovett, and Tommy Vietor — are joined by journalists, politicians, comedians, and activists for a freewheeling conversation about politics, the press and the challenges posed by the Trump presidency. ~source

What is Crooked?
In 2016, a sane conversation about politics was most needed but hardest to find. Cable news panels, you may have noticed, are not the best.
Twitter is a great place to slowly lose your mind. Everywhere, the work of excellent journalists competes with clickbait, fake news, and whatever Donald Trump is tweeting about. We need a better conversation about politics in this country. That’s why we launched Crooked Media — to talk about politics in a way that doesn’t make you want to throw your phone out the window – with shows and analysis and other forms of sweet, sweet content that inform, entertain, and inspire action. No, we’re not unbiased, we’re not always serious and we’re certainly not always right. But we promise a no-bullshit conversation about politics and culture where you can laugh, cry, scream, ridicule us daily, share your ideas, and hopefully decide that you want to help fix this mess too. That’s it. End of mission. ~source

It’s really good journalism. It’s straight forward and honest and it’s just what we need right now in the midst of all this political turmoil with Donald Trump having the meltdown he’s having.

Here’s the thing. One of the guys is named Dan Pfeiffer. When I went to school many years ago (not that many, be nice) that was the name of one of my best friends. He and my friend LeAnn and I…we were always together.
He was handsome and charming and had the most beautiful voice…oh it was incredible. He would sing and we would melt. What a darling man. I loved him.
Not like that, but like one of my dearest most wonderful friends. I really loved him.

He passed soon after I married and was stationed oversees, he was very young. So I always felt like..he was there..and then gone.
It’s crazy how much I think of him anyway but I think of him every time I listen to Pod Save America and hear Dan Pfeiffer.
It’s just a name and really, what’s in a name?
Everything is in a name because I hear it and I think of him.
I miss him.
Anyway, you should listen to this podcast because it’s very real and it’s very good.
*warning explicit language
~~~~~
I started a new job today. You know how the first day of new jobs everyone is like…”how was your first day??” with all that joy and excitement.
I love joy. And I want joy and I want excitement.
I love working. Keeping busy, using my brain cells and feeling productive.
But I may be the minority that thinks the first day (the first week?) is pretty stressful.
New situations, new set ups, new computers, new everything and you have to figure out how their systems work. You have to be fit into their world, they don’t fit into yours.

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So I’m making notes and lists to help make the days go smoother and reminding myself that every job has been like this.  With my previous jobs… it took a bit to get better,  but it did eventually get there. And every job I’ve ever had I’ve felt like God led me to it. They all gave back to me in some way. I gained something from them.  I’m trusting I’m supposed to be at this job where I believe this place needs me.
It’s really just -first day nervous blues-. Anyone else have first day blues? Or are you guys all -first day excitement-?
Sean just sat with me and walked me through some basic computer fixes, things I should have remembered from my last job but let’s face it…too many years of migraines and I figure brain damage tosses out anything Outlook wants me to remember. Plus, my computer is Windows 10 and the church uses Windows 7 so…

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Okay…I have some idea. I just have to access those parts of the brain that used to work on Outlook. It’s there somewhere. 

I’ll also be dealing with cleaning and organizing around people who want to do it themselves but they haven’t up until now. So as I’m asking about things or wanting to make changes there may be control issues. Today there was a lot of shuffling and cleaning around me and watching over my shoulder.

I really like my co worker but I don’t do well when watched…I shut down and my brain refuses to work. My old supervisor will attest to that (hey Norma…kiss Margaux!).  Her and I will adjust with time, I think the first week is just tough (positive thinking..).

It’s been years of disarray (apparently three pianos…three that aren’t being used…anyone need a piano? what the hell do you do with used pianos?) so we have to let someone else in to think differently.  I think time will allow that.

And I need to reign in my personality. A lot.

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yeah…wish me luck there…
~~~~
My appointment was hilarious today. It was my six month thyroid appointment where we spent 20 minutes talking about weddings and 30 seconds saying “thyroid numbers are a little low but you look great so I’m leaving you there! see you in six months!”
I love her.
After I left I thought…I should message her and ask where she buys her gorgeous clothes.

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~~~~
This morning I had a hangover from my migraine so I slept hard and I snapped crackled and popped.
I did yoga to work it out.
I wanted to run after work because oh my gosh this day was so beautiful but I had groceries to buy and dinner to make and after the appointment I just didn’t get things done the way I needed to. So tomorrow I will hopefully be on a better schedule.
I’m going to be super busy in the next few weeks,  I have several appointments mixed in with work but oh the weather. The weather!
I do love Colorado. 
Tomorrow I have plans to get a hike in after work and after my appointment.
Michelle!!
It may be my last midweek hike of the year.

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~~~~~
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Run on…

Are you an empath? And what is one? Do I want to be one? Do I have a choice…

So I’ve been interested in the word empath.- Being an empath is when you are affected by other people’s energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others. Your life is unconsciously influenced by others’ desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods. Being an empath is much more than being highly sensitive and it’s not just limited to emotions. -source

I’ve heard it being passed around rather liberally lately and it seems everyone and their neighbor, best friend and cat is an empath (by the way, if your cat is an empath I am highly interested in meeting him or her. Most cats just have one mood and we all know what that is..).

When I hear it I’m taken to Charmed with Piper, Phoebe and Paige, the supernatural empath. I know it’s not the same thing but that’s where my head goes.  I get it. It’s not The Handmaid’s Tale. But we all have a vice and mine was Charmed. Piper got to blow things up. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want that power.  Think of the anger issues that would be abused with that power.

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don’t you judge me one bit…you guys have your television, I have mine.

There was a search plethora of empath results and I didn’t really know where to begin. Most of them were “30 ways to tell if you’re an empath” or “20 ways to tell…” or lengthy little lists like that.
But I grabbed onto Psychology Today for something and found this:
10 Traits Empathic People Share 

1. Empaths are highly sensative-Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually open, and good listeners.
2. Empaths absorb other people’s emotions– Empaths are highly attuned to other people’s moods, good and bad
3. Many empaths are introverted. -Empaths become overwhelmed in crowds, which can amplify their empathy. They tend to be introverted and prefer one-to-one contact or small groups. Even if an empath is more extroverted they may prefer to limit how much time they spend in a crowd or at a party.
4. Empaths are highly intuitive– Empaths experience the world through their intuition. It is important for them to develop their intuition and listen to their gut feelings about people.
5. Empaths need alone time– As super-responders, empaths find being around people can be draining, so they periodically need time alone to recharge.
6. Empaths can become overwhelmed in intimate relationships– Too much togetherness can be difficult for an empath so they may avoid intimate relationships.
7. Empaths are targets for energy vampires– An empath’s sensitivity makes them particularly easy marks for energy vampires, whose fear or rage can sap their energy and peace of mind.
8. An empath becomes replenished in nature– The busyness of everyday life can be too much for an empath.
9. Empath’s have highly tuned senses- An empath’s nerves can get frayed by noise, smells, or excessive talking.
10. Empaths have huge hearts but sometimes give too much– Empaths are big-hearted people and try to relieve the pain of others: a homeless person holding a cardboard “I’m hungry” sign at a busy intersection, a hurt child, a distraught friend.

So I hit 9 out of 10 solid. Number 6 was a no but the rest…dead on. Some of them so accurate I wanted to shout out “yes!”.
So I switched to The Mind Unleashed and went through that list of 30…I know. It’s not Psychology Today but bear with me. It was crazy.

I’m 25 out of 30.

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So…that was interesting. I mean it was a hard 25. No wavering there. I’m going to assume that I’m at the very least highly sensitive and this explains why I can’t read an article to my husband without crying, why I have no interest in watching the truly violent shows (and if I do, I close my eyes at the worst parts…or I leave the room).
I felt a little less crazy, reading that list.

~~~~~

I start a new job this week. It’s part time but I’m my church’s new office admin and I’ll be re-organizing it. I am now officially REALLY busy.
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I like using my brain though so it’ll be good.
I’ve been working with them for about two months so it’s not really new,  just show up at the church and actually be a presence now. There are definitely new duties attached to that.
I do like organizing. Did I mention that? Finding order where there wasn’t.

~~~~~

I’ve felt slightly under the weather all week long. One thing after another just not cooperating. We had crazy weather the other day with 26mph wind gusts. The result was an overall aching and a migraine today. But I drugged up and went straight to sleep.
When I woke up…it was gone.
SHUT UP..I KNOW. I couldn’t believe it either. That NEVER happens.
It was a good day.
I realize it’s odd to hear me say migraine day was a good day but…it was a good day.
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~~~~~
I have a doctor appointment today…a regular Celiac/thyroid checkup. We’ll see if I’m broken or whatever. Grocery shopping. Computer work. It’s going to be a gorgeous week of 70’s so …fall weather, golden leaves and 70*…
this week could not be more perfect.


~~~~
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yes please. 

Run on…

It’s Friday the 13th and that never gets old.

Some guy called me this morning and asked if he could come over and shower in my house.
I didn’t recognize the number but he sounded nice so I figured…why not?
Turns out I do know the guy.
MT’s friend is in the Army Reserves and he had a PT test this morning before work and his timing was off so he finished on the base and then had to go straight to work. We live very close to the base. So he asked if he could use the shower and then off he went to work.
Military people shower very quickly.
And they are very clean. He folded his wet towel.
Don’t worry, it wasn’t weird. He’s a super nice kid. Once I figured out who he was.  It’s not everyday some stranger calls you and asks that question.
I immediately put his number in my phone. In my defense, I always talk to him on Facebook.
It’s proving to be a fun day already!
~~~~~
I woke up this morning and thought…yeah I should TOTALLY do something cool with my husband today. 

Then I remembered I have theboy coming over!
That’s pretty cool, too.
Last night I went to bed with a serious headache (because I jinxed myself with yesterday’s arrogant little post) and my ankles were quite swollen (what the hell was THAT about? Oh yeah…probably a week of eating cupcakes)  and everything hurt.
Today I woke up with a serious headache, my ankles are normal size (yay!) and I woke up multiple times in the night to crazy leg cramps which we all know is magnesium. But hello..I take magnesium supplements so come on Celiac…allow something to stick please because that hurts BAD.

Well that’s quite a picture, isn’t it?

~~~

As I said,  I spoke too soon. I had a crazy migraine-in-the-making all day yesterday. Nothing serious…it’s just thinking about it. I’m taking good care to not let it get out of hand because I just don’t have time for that.
Pfft….no.
I just don’t WANT it.

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Unfortunately don’t they show up whether you want them to or not? I mean, how do you say no?

~~~~~

Whenever I spend time with my family they always have a million questions about Celiac. And I should have all the answers but sometimes I don’t if you can believe it. Don’t tell my kids.   But I do have Google. And if I don’t have Google I have my sister, Catherine who goes by the nickname…Gacopedia because she is a wealth of useless information.

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This last weekend someone asked if the super high restaurant grill would burn off the gluten thus rendering the grill capable and safe of cooking for me.
I’ll be honest, I immediately thought…nope. And if I had to put money on it (I usually say I’d bet my husband’s paycheck and he usually says to stop betting his paychecks…hahaha)…
I think I hesitated when I answered and said I didn’t think so. I’d have to research it.But I figured …no. I mean…that’s pretty sketch.
Well they were more convinced than I was but I wasn’t willing to risk it. It’s my gut.
Gacopedia came right home and researched that sucker and came up with this article:
Gluten Deteriorates in High Temps????

I skimmed it quick and then asked her…um…if I read it right it says
it sounds like it would but only if left to burn it clean at that high temperature for a ridiculous length of time? Did I skim that super quick accurately enough?
Which basically says to me…NOPE.
But apparently I did not. Full disclosure I seriously SERIOUSLY skimmed it. I really read like two and a half sentences because my mind was not on reading science. I was doing two things at once and I did not want to stop what I was doing to do something else.  I am selfish. I mean I should have but I just didn’t want to right then. So I did the skim. No patience.
She came back and said this:
He basically says that gluten has the strength of ten men and in order to kill it you need to incinerate it to a molecular level. At which point it becomes carcinogenic. So if you are celiac you must simply run screaming away from it.

Well okay then…I’m totally on board with that. Avoid.

One can always count on Catherine to condense things appropriately. Points on finding that article!

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~~~~~

I was going through the grocery store line and clearly buying a significant amount of gluten-free items. I don’t usually pick up this much stuff but I noticed they had new mixes from my favorite place so I grabbed some scone mixes, cake mixes and such. As the check out lady was scanning them through she said, “can I ask you something? How did you know you needed to go gluten free?”
So I told her I had a blood test and an endoscopy that told me I was Celiac. She said her husband gets a rash and the doctors told them he needed a test but he needed to eat copious amounts of gluten. She sounded intimidated.

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She said they never pursued it. It was a few years ago but he still has the rash.
I reassured her it’s simple…just eat normally and it’ll come up on the test. Eat a pizza. Have a sandwich. Don’t stress.
It’s a blood test and it’s not that expensive.
We talked for a few minutes and I sent her to Gluten Dude and his infographic of symptoms. She thanked me as I left and I thought…I need a business card. Every day I answer questions about Celiac. Every day.
I hope she remembers what I told her. She was really nice.

 

~~~~~

I’m feeling pretty normal beyond a little head pain so I’m hoping to have a regular day. Walk the dog, errands, hang with theboy RUN (my head better cooperate)

Yesterday I got a TON of errands done…don’t you love those days? #feelinproductive

#myworkoutwas
I got my steps in
twenty push ups

I know, it wasn’t much but damn it was a rough day.

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I have high hopes for today. Don’t mess with Friday the 13th.

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Run on…