Sean went camping with the family and I had to take care of Malachi (someone has to be the drug pusher here and let’s face it, I have the most experience in that department) so I stayed home. Hey…that’s not an easy job…trust me. It’s like Cirque de Soleil in this house when it’s drug time. I took the opportunity to go out with my friend Solongo. We went out with the intention of drinks and a movie but instead we went out for drinks and dancing and sitting on the patio talking until midnight because that girl cannot hold her liquor. One glass of wine and she was sleeping. But she was just turning away those guys that kept telling her she was beautiful all night. It was loud and crazy and we were people watching and listening to the music and laughing and this guy came up and said something to her and when I asked what she said…”um…I don’t know…something something beautiful something”…totally dismissing him with a roll of the eyes.
I laughed pretty hard at how quickly she tossed away the beautiful comment. For how dismissive it was, she’s very hard on herself and thinks the people she’s interested in she’s just not good enough for. She has two college degrees, one of them in a very complicated engineering something (there are a lot of engineering degrees, don’t judge me) that required the highest calculus you can take and it wasn’t hard for her and she’s beautiful and she’s funny and speaks two languages fluently and she is always super down on herself. Chick. If YOU are hard on yourself, I should give up now. Just sayin’. She’s amazing and well…just amazing. Wish she knew it.
When I got home it was very late so I pulled into the garage and waited for the garage door to completely close before getting out of the car. Silently reminding myself this isn’t how I wanted to go, forgetting to turn off the car while the garage door was closed, I took the opportunity now to turn the car off (ha…I joke but ya’ll know me and my broken sass self) then I texted Solongo that I was home. Had a two text conversation and got out. Stumbled through the door in the dark (I didn’t drink…I just stumble) and closed up the house with the animals. Cheerfully puttered around for another half hour or so and then went to bed.
When I got up in the morning I went to the garage to feed the dog and…
the garage door was open.
Can you solve the puzzle?
What is your irrational fear?
Sean, the jerk, doesn’t have one. He told me he’s afraid of putting his hand in a dark rabbit hole.
Dude…that’s not irrational. Who would do that? That is a legitimate concern. Don’t do that and you’ll be okay. ::eyeroll::. An IRRATIONAL fear.
Here are my irrational fears.
1. That when I go to the garage in the morning to feed the dog, the locked and dead bolted garage, I will find a person in my garage waiting for me. I always open the kitchen door to the garage with a little care…you never know what’s behind it. #disturbiainmygarage #justmyimagination #thatsongisasoldaswellnevermind
2. When I’m done putting gas in the car and I’m driving off I’m afraid I have forgotten to put the gas pump away and it’s still sticking in my car so I always look back a million times to make sure I’m not driving off with it still in the car. #notme #wasntme #heymycarsonfire #heyladyyougotalittlesomethingrightthere
3. When I back out of the garage I’m always terrified I’m going to drive through the garage door. This one has merit. I’ve done it. Keep reading before you judge me! We had a van with a roof rack and the roof rack caught the red safety rope and released it and the door fell on the van as I was pulling out. There is literally no way I could have prevented that but somehow people always seem to look at me funny like my bad driving did it. Yes, I purposely hooked it as I was pulling out, carefully maneuvering back and forth making sure it actually hooked…because I’m made of money and felt like replacing a garage door and a van door that week.
4. In the olden days (most of you don’t remember those times), we’ll call them the “days of yore” because we’re just that old, we used to have laundry soap in powder form in laundry boxes. I KNOW. crazy right? I was always afraid that reaching my hand into the laundry soap box…there would be spiders in the upper corners of the boxes…not in the soap, duh…just in the upper dark corners. Because, as Sean pointed out chuckling, spiders love to make their homes in boxes of chemicals. Hey. We’re talking irrational fears, okay?
5. and I didn’t really have a fifth one except I don’t ski. I don’t ski because I will fall off the ski lift. Like seriously. Now, this isn’t legitimately an irrational fear because you all have proof I can’t even walk across the room without hurting myself so a ski lift? I really will fall off. Also every person I tell that fear to says, “oh ski lifts can be scary but really they’re fine. Super easy! You’d do great. I mean I totally fell off that one time… (turning to spouse, friend, mother) remember that time I fell off and broke my (insert part of body) but I love skiing/snowboarding and I bet you would too. You should TOTALLY do it!”. Percentage of people that have said that to me…easily 50% or higher. Full disclosure not all of them broke something but higher than 50% fell off. I’d put money on it. Not Sean’s paycheck. He won’t let me do that anymore. So…no. I won’t be doing it.
It’s pouring torrential rain here today and I want a good run REALLY bad so I might stalk the weather station to find 45 minutes of down time for the opportunity to sneak in a run. Yes, 45 minutes, I’m slow, okay?
Otherwise, I might just do the treadmill which would kind of make me sad because I’m loving the outdoor running right now.