I’m getting there. To the end of my crazy tunnel. I see that light.

So Trump is kicking out the Haitians. Right now it’s amazing to be a Christian and an American. I’m so proud.

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On that note…really good article here.
Why would anyone choose Christianity Today?

And hey, there’s that awesome tax code that’s going to do such great things for all of us. But it’s okay, it’ll be pretty fantastic if you make more than $170,000. What???
I had a woman at my church today asking for rent assistance. She’s a NURSE. A nurse with four kids. Her husband died, her dad just died and she can’t pay the rent. The bills are just too high and she says if she can just get a little assistance to get through the month she’ll be okay. It’s SO hard to hear these stories. I give her the list of people to call and hope she has luck. One of the people she already called and they told her they don’t give rental assistance after the fifteenth of the month. That doesn’t help her when her rent is due at the end. But hey…sure glad those people who are making a freaking ton of money are getting that tax break.

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This is all I ever think to myself when I hear anything he’s done.
~~~~~

My morning yesterday started out amazing after what has to be the most perfect four hours of sleep EVER. Or at least that I can remember.  In the best of circumstances it would have lasted three more hours but I’m not even sorry about that! I went to bed with a terrible migraine, I’d been fighting it all evening and my second drug dose seemed to finally take the edge off. Sean has the plague so I told him he was on his own and I slept in the spare room and remembered nothing after that. Usually migraine drugs cause heavy sleep/hangover/I feel awful but this time…WHOA.

What magic is this? Seriously. I felt like I could run the world.  With all that joy I hoped I wasn’t jinxing it.  I’ve been looking for this particular shirt for a while and this morning I remembered exactly where it was. My brain kicked in and logic began to work for me. It was GREAT.

In case you’re wondering, I haven’t found those pants yet. I thought for sure yesterday was the day to look for them due to the magic or maybe just meditate and think…”pants”… it was that kind of day.

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but no. it did not work.

~~~~~

Way back on Friday…

On Friday morning I had 472 errands to run (number of the week) and one of them was to go to the vet in Parker which is pretty far South.  South means a wealthier community. I’d like to dress that up a bit and make it slightly less obnoxious but let’s face it,  it’s the pretty neighborhood.

I live in Aurora. We’re pretty too, but our neighborhoods are not quite as …shall we say…refined. We don’t have nearly as many associations. Sean and I live in a free neighborhood ~yay!~and yes, we have a neighbor up the street with a pink house. Seriously. Breast cancer awareness pink. I know because I met her husband and he told me.  He also mentioned it turned out a little brighter than they were expecting but oh well, once they bought the paint they couldn’t afford to change it.
*lesson of the day, test your paint sample

I mean, I could be more politically correct about this but Aurora is just demographically lower income. Sean and I have discussed moving to a different area of the city but we have a ridiculously low house payment so it’s really beneficial for us to stay. Plus if we keep it that way we can spent all our extra money (it’s bound to be here soon, right? Extra money?) on traveling.  And some day we’re going to as soon as we get twelve minutes.

It’s really going to happen. I swear.

Meanwhile, I stopped in at the local Kroger store and OH MY GOSH.  I felt like I was in the Truman Show or that show on Netflix The Good Life. Where everything is pretty and shiny and beautiful. All the shelves are stocked and the fruit is shiny.

The produce department is twice the size of the store on my end of town, at least twice. It’s incredible. The store is HUGE. The gluten free products it stocks (gasp!) it’s really impressive. And I lost count of how many employees stopped what they were doing, turned to me smiling (smiling with a *ding) kind of smile…you know what I mean and said, “how are you doing?” or “find everything okay today?”

Seriously. SERIOUSLY.

I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone of grocery stores. It kind of freaked me out. I’d like to say I’m kidding but I think I’m only half kidding. It was crazy.

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I can’t decide if I want the grocery store or not. I’m still deciding.

~~~~~
Sean was out of town and theboy stayed with me.
The difference between sleeping with a 200 pound man and a six year old is absolutely nothing. They both take up 3/4 of the space and you end up wishing you were in the spare room.  Theboy actually slept completely sideways and with both legs on top of me.   After pushing him back over he wiggled his little self back to my side and snugged up.

That’s ok. I’ll take that.

Also, he heavy sighs with a little….”hhmmm” in his sleep. ::swoon::

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~~~~

Theboy learned how to play chess this week. He’s so excited and was telling me all about it. Then he said it was too bad I didn’t know how to play chess.

I do know how to play chess.

“YOU know how to PLAY CHESS??” he asked, incredulous.

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Huh. I wonder why that’s so shocking?

Yes. yes I do. My dad taught me when I was probably just a little older than he was.

He was dumbfounded. “Will you play with me?”
I told him I would. He wanted to know if I still remembered.
Poor Babe the dinosaur. LOL

Yes. Yes I remember.

At least 15 times while we played he said, “I can’t believe YOU know how to play chess”.
This is not a side of him I like…

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It’s okay. I kicked his little six year old butt. Three times.

~~~~~

I had this post ready to publish in the morning  and completely forgot. COMPLETELY>

In my defense I ran out the door super early for work and when I got there it was crazy busy until I left at 5.  At some point it will slow down, I’m certain of it. I just have to hang on until that happens.

I had so little sleep the night before last that even though I felt great I ended up with a pretty wicked migraine so I took some drugs, fed my family (yay, family) and went to bed for a three hour nap because taking care of myself has to come first.

My butt and my legs need a run though. I’m looking at training plans. I keep hitting people up for races.

I’m definitely feeling a little more in control though, this week. I know it’s only Tuesday but I didn’t bring work home today so that’s a plus. And if I hadn’t had a migraine I definitely would have run. All of that means there’s hope out there for time management.

It occurred to me that I could take a change of clothes and go to the incline after I get off work, if I can ever leave work at my regular hour of 2:30.

Schedules. So much scheduling.

#myworkoutwas

Absolutely nothing. I slept. Tomorrow I will be better. I’m getting my steps in though and a lot of it is an actual staircase (up and downstairs at a dead run in heels all day long…that has to count as part of a workout!).

This is incredibly true for me. Every goal I ever had that I kept to myself I succeeded with flying colors. Most of the others crashed and burned with few exceptions. I try very hard to keep goals to myself.

10 Psychology Facts That Provide Useful Insight Into The Human Mind

Run on…

Sweet List <3

1.  a new haircut! Thank you Princess Anna! @annaloze I love her.

2. November is here. I’ve never been so happy for November. #longestyearever #flewby

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3. MT gets home THIS WEEK.  I’m so glad he’s happy. I love him happy.

4. My computer font has been totally screwed up for two weeks and it’s been impossible to see anything clearly on the screen. It’s been like looking at a really really bad photocopy.

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 I finally figured it out today, or my computer figured it out for me and notified me of a glitch. Was it waiting for something in particular? What happened today that said ~this is the day we’re going to let her off the hook. Today she gets her regular font back. I mean, it’s been fun but the torture should stop now.  I would like to know for the next time it decides to do this.
5. I think (I think…) I am mostly caught up at work. Which means I am not going into the week behind. I’ve been working behind for weeks and weeks and for someone who likes to be ahead of the game on everything, this is causing me to lose sleep.  I finally feel somewhat even. I have a huge pile of work to do but if I dive in headfirst I might get it done quick. Who knew churches had so much to do.
6.  Sean and I went hiking today and it was the best way to spend a Sunday. I just turned off my phone (okay, I didn’t really but I put it on low power and put it away in the backpack) and enjoyed the gorgeous day outside.  You would think with everyone in my family being tucked away neatly in their homes I would not be so paranoid about being reached but I just am. So until I’m not…I keep the phone on. Meanwhile, here is me killing time while Sean is Ingressing. A four mile hike for a quick two minute Ingress moment? Totally worth it. Plus he made me laugh the whole time so I’m all in for that kind of day. #Ingress #hikingcolorado #excusesexcuses 

7.  Tea of a Kind. Now…here’s the glitch. I bought the Pomegranate Acai White Tea and it’s so delicious. I loved it. The other flavor said it had caffeine right on the bottle and this one didn’t so I figured I was probably good. I can’t see caffeine anywhere on the bottle and I can’t find caffeine information anywhere. White Tea generally has quite a bit of caffeine so I’m not sure what’s up there. I only drank a little of it to make sure I don’t invite a migraine but the answer is still a mystery. If you can have caffeine though…this stuff is delicious.


image source: Tea of a Kind

8.  Shalane Flanagan. I mean Seriously. She just inspires you to get your ass out the door and run. Between watching her win the NYCM and the postcard perfect weather of Colorado in November I am dying to be running pretty much all the time.

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9. The Manitou Incline is tentatively scheduled to open Dec 1st. Which means I have to get back to doing my incline work. My legs are definitely not in incline shape. Michelle’s totally are. And a great thank you to the hard workers who haul themselves up those stairs every day to work on the incline.  It is an incredible workout and it’s cold and wet and just a huge undertaking. Those of us that love the incline and Colorado’s great outdoors appreciate your efforts.

10. I went to TJ Maxx because I have no work pants. I found a few pair that I think will work really well (I’ll be honest, I didn’t try them all on) but I  happened upon the greatest t-shirt ever (when I was looking through t-shirts so I didn’t really “happen” on it), I mean I was looking in the t-shirt section.  For $6.99 my life has been made better. I want to go back and buy six more. Long, soft, fits well, good grey color. I just love it. Good quality t-shirts are hard to find! No, I didn’t really need a t-shirt but … that’s not the point.

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That is probably very true.
But I got a t-shirt that changed my life and no I want six more. #idontexaggerate #ifonlyjeansfitthatway

~~~~

Run on…

Purple fingernails. Not so much.

Two weeks ago my son got married and today I have a totally great hair day and my makeup is perfect. I’m starting to lose faith in the universe. Just sayin’.

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~~~~~
Work yesterday was much better. I went in for a few hours and it was find but later I went back when the office was empty and I could actually think. It’s a small office and a LOT of people go through it. So in the quiet of the evening I “finished” the project I was working on. I know it’ll need some tweaking but I made great progress. And I found a box and put anything extraneous I could find in that box. Plastic filing do-hickeys that people buy because they’re “going to get organized”, three tape dispensers, 8 staplers and too many cords to count but no one knows what they’re for.  I couldn’t think straight with all that stuff. I still need to vacuum and clean the desk off. Then I’ll be better. Flowers maybe. The office needs flowers.

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~~~~~
Michelle and I took a long lunch yesterday and went hiking which is the best way to spend the afternoon in October in Colorado.  We got away with no snakes (no snakes!) and came in under 2 hours so we were able to stand at the car for awhile and be judgey inappropriate friends that share too much.  Yeah, we know. We’re probably going to hell. But I’m hoping I can build up enough good Karma I can win positive points back. I don’t suppose it actually works that way…
Pfft…I’ll be the one at the pearly gates and St Peter will be all “well if you were a little less JUDGEY …”
yeah yeah yeah.
~~~~~
When I was a little kid there was a time I stood in a department store and declared, “haff yah eveh seen poiple UNDIES?” rather loud through out the store. I’ve always had a thing for purple. The darker the better. Preferably nearly black.
I had enough time to get to my nail appointment where my really awesome nail girl was totally happy to give me the “darkest purple she  could find” which…it turns out…

…isn’t that dark.

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sigh. Probably mine because I’m agreeable. She was so excited! She had the PERFECT color! I hated to say…yeah….
No. 

So I didn’t. I took it. And now my fingernails are “Halloween” purple which is a little brighter and “out there”. (play Twilight Zone music in your head as you read that)
I have purple nails. Me. Purple. French tip me. Boring me.
It’ll take some adjusting. At my age we aren’t supposed to hope time passes quickly but…
I am kind of hoping time passes quickly so I can get my nails redone. I’ll just get the color I had before it was SO pretty.
My advice for the day…choose your purple wisely.

Stupid purple.
~~~~~
I’m reading John Green’s new book Turtles All the Way Down and I highly recommend it. Anxiety and mental illness are just never talked about enough. Dismissed with a “hope you feel better soon” or a sad face on Facebook, I see friends going through this all the time. Recognizing someone has issues of anxiety or mental illness is a simple matter of honoring who they are. After that basic human kindness usually follows. Usually.
~~~~~
Today I am visiting my friend after work and if I don’t get a run done in the morning (which I probably won’t because I’ve been walking the dog in the morning) then I’ll get a run in later.  It’s beautiful outside and I want to enjoy this week as much as I can. It’s so late in the year you never know what the next week will bring.
#myworkoutwas
Hour and a half hike with Michelle
Walked the dog for two miles
for a total of 20,000+ steps
I miss strength.  Tomorrow….tomorrow I strength train.  #weakarms
~~~~~

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Run on…

What’s in a name?

I listen to Pod Save America. 
Four former aides to President Obama — Jon Favreau, Dan Pfeiffer, Jon Lovett, and Tommy Vietor — are joined by journalists, politicians, comedians, and activists for a freewheeling conversation about politics, the press and the challenges posed by the Trump presidency. ~source

What is Crooked?
In 2016, a sane conversation about politics was most needed but hardest to find. Cable news panels, you may have noticed, are not the best.
Twitter is a great place to slowly lose your mind. Everywhere, the work of excellent journalists competes with clickbait, fake news, and whatever Donald Trump is tweeting about. We need a better conversation about politics in this country. That’s why we launched Crooked Media — to talk about politics in a way that doesn’t make you want to throw your phone out the window – with shows and analysis and other forms of sweet, sweet content that inform, entertain, and inspire action. No, we’re not unbiased, we’re not always serious and we’re certainly not always right. But we promise a no-bullshit conversation about politics and culture where you can laugh, cry, scream, ridicule us daily, share your ideas, and hopefully decide that you want to help fix this mess too. That’s it. End of mission. ~source

It’s really good journalism. It’s straight forward and honest and it’s just what we need right now in the midst of all this political turmoil with Donald Trump having the meltdown he’s having.

Here’s the thing. One of the guys is named Dan Pfeiffer. When I went to school many years ago (not that many, be nice) that was the name of one of my best friends. He and my friend LeAnn and I…we were always together.
He was handsome and charming and had the most beautiful voice…oh it was incredible. He would sing and we would melt. What a darling man. I loved him.
Not like that, but like one of my dearest most wonderful friends. I really loved him.

He passed soon after I married and was stationed oversees, he was very young. So I always felt like..he was there..and then gone.
It’s crazy how much I think of him anyway but I think of him every time I listen to Pod Save America and hear Dan Pfeiffer.
It’s just a name and really, what’s in a name?
Everything is in a name because I hear it and I think of him.
I miss him.
Anyway, you should listen to this podcast because it’s very real and it’s very good.
*warning explicit language
~~~~~
I started a new job today. You know how the first day of new jobs everyone is like…”how was your first day??” with all that joy and excitement.
I love joy. And I want joy and I want excitement.
I love working. Keeping busy, using my brain cells and feeling productive.
But I may be the minority that thinks the first day (the first week?) is pretty stressful.
New situations, new set ups, new computers, new everything and you have to figure out how their systems work. You have to be fit into their world, they don’t fit into yours.

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So I’m making notes and lists to help make the days go smoother and reminding myself that every job has been like this.  With my previous jobs… it took a bit to get better,  but it did eventually get there. And every job I’ve ever had I’ve felt like God led me to it. They all gave back to me in some way. I gained something from them.  I’m trusting I’m supposed to be at this job where I believe this place needs me.
It’s really just -first day nervous blues-. Anyone else have first day blues? Or are you guys all -first day excitement-?
Sean just sat with me and walked me through some basic computer fixes, things I should have remembered from my last job but let’s face it…too many years of migraines and I figure brain damage tosses out anything Outlook wants me to remember. Plus, my computer is Windows 10 and the church uses Windows 7 so…

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Okay…I have some idea. I just have to access those parts of the brain that used to work on Outlook. It’s there somewhere. 

I’ll also be dealing with cleaning and organizing around people who want to do it themselves but they haven’t up until now. So as I’m asking about things or wanting to make changes there may be control issues. Today there was a lot of shuffling and cleaning around me and watching over my shoulder.

I really like my co worker but I don’t do well when watched…I shut down and my brain refuses to work. My old supervisor will attest to that (hey Norma…kiss Margaux!).  Her and I will adjust with time, I think the first week is just tough (positive thinking..).

It’s been years of disarray (apparently three pianos…three that aren’t being used…anyone need a piano? what the hell do you do with used pianos?) so we have to let someone else in to think differently.  I think time will allow that.

And I need to reign in my personality. A lot.

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yeah…wish me luck there…
~~~~
My appointment was hilarious today. It was my six month thyroid appointment where we spent 20 minutes talking about weddings and 30 seconds saying “thyroid numbers are a little low but you look great so I’m leaving you there! see you in six months!”
I love her.
After I left I thought…I should message her and ask where she buys her gorgeous clothes.

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~~~~
This morning I had a hangover from my migraine so I slept hard and I snapped crackled and popped.
I did yoga to work it out.
I wanted to run after work because oh my gosh this day was so beautiful but I had groceries to buy and dinner to make and after the appointment I just didn’t get things done the way I needed to. So tomorrow I will hopefully be on a better schedule.
I’m going to be super busy in the next few weeks,  I have several appointments mixed in with work but oh the weather. The weather!
I do love Colorado. 
Tomorrow I have plans to get a hike in after work and after my appointment.
Michelle!!
It may be my last midweek hike of the year.

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~~~~~
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Run on…

Are you an empath? And what is one? Do I want to be one? Do I have a choice…

So I’ve been interested in the word empath.- Being an empath is when you are affected by other people’s energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others. Your life is unconsciously influenced by others’ desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods. Being an empath is much more than being highly sensitive and it’s not just limited to emotions. -source

I’ve heard it being passed around rather liberally lately and it seems everyone and their neighbor, best friend and cat is an empath (by the way, if your cat is an empath I am highly interested in meeting him or her. Most cats just have one mood and we all know what that is..).

When I hear it I’m taken to Charmed with Piper, Phoebe and Paige, the supernatural empath. I know it’s not the same thing but that’s where my head goes.  I get it. It’s not The Handmaid’s Tale. But we all have a vice and mine was Charmed. Piper got to blow things up. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want that power.  Think of the anger issues that would be abused with that power.

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don’t you judge me one bit…you guys have your television, I have mine.

There was a search plethora of empath results and I didn’t really know where to begin. Most of them were “30 ways to tell if you’re an empath” or “20 ways to tell…” or lengthy little lists like that.
But I grabbed onto Psychology Today for something and found this:
10 Traits Empathic People Share 

1. Empaths are highly sensative-Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually open, and good listeners.
2. Empaths absorb other people’s emotions– Empaths are highly attuned to other people’s moods, good and bad
3. Many empaths are introverted. -Empaths become overwhelmed in crowds, which can amplify their empathy. They tend to be introverted and prefer one-to-one contact or small groups. Even if an empath is more extroverted they may prefer to limit how much time they spend in a crowd or at a party.
4. Empaths are highly intuitive– Empaths experience the world through their intuition. It is important for them to develop their intuition and listen to their gut feelings about people.
5. Empaths need alone time– As super-responders, empaths find being around people can be draining, so they periodically need time alone to recharge.
6. Empaths can become overwhelmed in intimate relationships– Too much togetherness can be difficult for an empath so they may avoid intimate relationships.
7. Empaths are targets for energy vampires– An empath’s sensitivity makes them particularly easy marks for energy vampires, whose fear or rage can sap their energy and peace of mind.
8. An empath becomes replenished in nature– The busyness of everyday life can be too much for an empath.
9. Empath’s have highly tuned senses- An empath’s nerves can get frayed by noise, smells, or excessive talking.
10. Empaths have huge hearts but sometimes give too much– Empaths are big-hearted people and try to relieve the pain of others: a homeless person holding a cardboard “I’m hungry” sign at a busy intersection, a hurt child, a distraught friend.

So I hit 9 out of 10 solid. Number 6 was a no but the rest…dead on. Some of them so accurate I wanted to shout out “yes!”.
So I switched to The Mind Unleashed and went through that list of 30…I know. It’s not Psychology Today but bear with me. It was crazy.

I’m 25 out of 30.

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So…that was interesting. I mean it was a hard 25. No wavering there. I’m going to assume that I’m at the very least highly sensitive and this explains why I can’t read an article to my husband without crying, why I have no interest in watching the truly violent shows (and if I do, I close my eyes at the worst parts…or I leave the room).
I felt a little less crazy, reading that list.

~~~~~

I start a new job this week. It’s part time but I’m my church’s new office admin and I’ll be re-organizing it. I am now officially REALLY busy.
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I like using my brain though so it’ll be good.
I’ve been working with them for about two months so it’s not really new,  just show up at the church and actually be a presence now. There are definitely new duties attached to that.
I do like organizing. Did I mention that? Finding order where there wasn’t.

~~~~~

I’ve felt slightly under the weather all week long. One thing after another just not cooperating. We had crazy weather the other day with 26mph wind gusts. The result was an overall aching and a migraine today. But I drugged up and went straight to sleep.
When I woke up…it was gone.
SHUT UP..I KNOW. I couldn’t believe it either. That NEVER happens.
It was a good day.
I realize it’s odd to hear me say migraine day was a good day but…it was a good day.
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~~~~~
I have a doctor appointment today…a regular Celiac/thyroid checkup. We’ll see if I’m broken or whatever. Grocery shopping. Computer work. It’s going to be a gorgeous week of 70’s so …fall weather, golden leaves and 70*…
this week could not be more perfect.


~~~~
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yes please. 

Run on…

Celiac and OCD. They aren’t as boring as they sound.

After all my high hopes to go running I got hit with a huge crash yesterday and all I wanted to do was sleep. I let it happen. I was super tired. I did get the house clean and the laundry done and several hours of work with the church which was a big step so I figure I made progress, right? Hm. I tell myself that anyway.
~~~~~
A few reminders…
I am not a doctor. Please call a doctor for any medical needs and issues. This is based on my own medical history.

1 in 133 people has it or 1% of the population.

If you have Hypothyroidism you are five to eight times more likely to have Celiac disease.

It takes the average person 6 to 10 years to get a correct diagnosis.

My friend has been sick for years. Like miserable sick. Joints aching, feeling terrible everything hurts she can barely function some days sick. She  finally (finally!) got a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia but only because the 19 or so doctors (I’m not kidding) didn’t really know where to go with searching. She still hurts, by the way, but hey…she has a diagnosis, right? Her son and my son were in soccer when they were very very small and now my son is off in the Marines and hers is going to school and I chat with her occasionally to say hey.
I do my best to not automatically make everyone I talk to have Celiac disease but listening to her I couldn’t help but wonder. It’s far more common than anyone thinks. And I don’t assume anyone has it. But if you have even a few symptoms I think it’s worth the blood test because it’s a very inexpensive test and one can be Celiac and have no symptoms. It’s worth just to be sure. Everything she was saying was so familiar in one way or another and she just had so many issues.  I finally asked if she was Hypothyroid and she said yes…since just after her son was born. This is very common. Pregnancy often brings on thyroid issues. Well, that clinched it. With the thyroid and Celiac being so closely linked it was only logical she have the test to eliminate the option. I was frankly shocked no one had done it already. I had to be intrusive and push it on her.
I sent her the link to Glutendude’s symptom chart and asked her to count up how many of them she had.
She came back a few minutes later and said, “47”.
Yeah…I think you need a Celiac test. As luck would have it, she had a doctor appointment coming up so she sent her doctor a message and asked for a test.
Tonight she sent me the results.
She’s positive.
I seriously almost cried for her.
Celiac is very commonly misdiagnosed as Fibromyalgia because doctors do not know what it is. 
How many doctors she saw. How many times she was blown off, ignored, misdiagnosed and sent somewhere else because they had no clue. I can’t believe she finally has an answer. I’m ridiculously happy for her to know she can maybe feel better.
This isn’t to say her life is now going to be 100% perfect but this woman has been in misery. Her pain has been unbelievable. Hopefully she’ll finally get some relief.

This is 2017. As I said above, I couldn’t believe no one had already run the test on her.
Gluten free jokes are rampant on late night, in books, in songs and on television everywhere. I can get “gluten free” in restaurants (purportedly) and I can go to gluten free bakeries and restaurants that are exclusively gluten free and Celiac safe. Gluten free is NOT a secret thing. But 19 doctors and not one of them thought to run this test?  With her being Hypothyroid even?  It’s really a sad commentary on what we’re dealing with in the Celiac community. We always think it’s getting better and then something happens like this.

My own doctor even (who is no longer my doctor because he left but randomly I did like him) did not believe I had Celiac disease despite a positive blood test and a positive endoscopy. What.the.hell. He thought it was “trendy”.
I’m…sorry?

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yeah. That’s what I said.
Don’t make it so hard. The answer is there. Just because the rest of the world is being stupid doesn’t mean we have to be.  Fortunately my other doctors (yes, plural) respected the science and were grateful for an answer or I’d still be lost.
Fun fact: It was my suggestion to test me for Celiac.
We have to be our own advocates, especially in this age of skepticism and the internet when the doctors think we’re all just house wives sitting on our asses sitting at home googling Malaria.

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Somehow an eyeroll seems so inadequate. It can be infuriating to be treated this way. I just remember that I’m right. I prepare by being very confident, going in with documentation and intelligent questions and making sure I am as informed as I can be.
I could care about whether or not my doctor believed me but I didn’t because I knew and that was all that mattered.

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~~~~~
The following is a video by John Green talking about his issues with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and his new book, Turtles All the Way Down. I could really relate to his obsessive thought process. I struggle with the same thing and I have a difficult time controlling it for sure. Mine doesn’t work the exact same way his does, though as he is quick to say everyone’s does work different.  I don’t imagine poisoned food or anything. I just get a terrible thought in my head or a thought I can’t get out of my head (it’s never a good thought) and it’s there replaying like a bad movie over and over and over. Spiders? check. Those suckers are there. They’ll multiply. I’ll have one spider on the counter and pretty soon it’s the biggest spider or six spiders until the movie in my head makes them 100,000 spiders spreading everywhere. The movie I can’t stop.
If I do something embarrassing I’ll replay it over and over and over and over and I can’t stop the replay no matter how much I want to. I’ll be having a normal conversation with you but in the back of my head…replay.
I do have tricks to get past it but they aren’t gone, they’re filed. If the filing cabinet gets opened they’ll be pulled out at a later date. It’s super fun. So I’ll be reading this book because I think the subject is incredibly interesting and also because I love John Green.

If you need mental health services in the U.S., you can find help through SAMHSA     : https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/ or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
~~~~~
When someone unfriends you on FB but six months later they come out of hiding on Instagram (one post kind of people) to like one of your son’s wedding pictures.  I see you. And I don’t know what to do with you.

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I couldn’t have one without the other..so great.  Also, she unfriended me because I don’t like Trump.

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It’s possible it’s really late and I need more sleep because I’m out of control with the gifs. Moving on now.

~~~~~
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Run on…

the quick and dirty.

Quick and dirty update on me  and then we’re moving on.
This has been the best round of Botox yet. They said it would continue to improve as time went on and they weren’t kidding. I had one seriously bad migraine and that was it. Otherwise I’ve mostly managed with Excedrin and barely needed it. My skin is a little tender today. That tells me I’m thinking about getting a migraine but I’m managing it so there you go.

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I have not been eating well all weekend and it shows in the fact that I’ve been sick.  I lost my dinner on Friday and every day since. Today I am determined to make it through the day. Eating clean is really important to maintaining my carefully balanced stomach.  My morning today was hot water and lemon (thank you Lord for good things like this!) I’m usually incredibly careful but it was wedding weekend and we were traveling and chaos ensued. And let’s face it, we can have a routine all we want but sometimes we go off the rails. It happens.

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When you talk to someone about something that is on your mind and they come completely unglued about your obsessive behavior and proceed to tell you how nuts you are. Because hey…I didn’t already know that based on the constant movie reel in my head.

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She’s probably wishing she had right about now. ::eyeroll::

I have finally finished putting away the weekend wedding stuff.  Okay, mostly. How nuts is that? There was so.much.stuff. Rehearsal dinner stuff. Food and pans and snacks. Clothes for the weekend and clothes for the wedding. Jewelry and shoes, make up and flowers. So many flowers. I’ve never been happier for the trash guy to get here. If I see another formal gown I might scream. I might just take them to the consignment store.  I need my house back. So much stuff.

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In a classic case of ~can you believe today’s news~ I don’t know if I should be more horrified by the wildfires in California or the years of disgusting abuse by Harvey Weinstein. And Donna Karan…hello??  What the hell? She had to apologize of course. There was no coming back from that.

Here’s a link to helping out for the fires. The losses are so devastating.

Eminem at the HipHop awards. He does not mess around.

Anyone heard anything on Puerto Rico????

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I didn’t do anything yesterday for exercise. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.  Zero. And I felt it. So today I’m going to run because I think I need some quiet time to zen out.
Winter is so close (we’ve already had snow!) so I am going to try and enjoy some fall leaf running while I can.

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Run on…

Behind the scenes of a perfect day.

This was wedding weekend and I thought I’d take the opportunity to let you know about the behind the scenes fabulousness that was our life.

Where we stayed:
Months ago I found a VRBO (sean informed me this was “vacation Rental by Owner” which I officially did not know. Full disclosure I hadn’t ever bothered to look or even think about it because I didn’t care enough. But I do like knowing things so there you go). This was a house in Evergreen, CO at the top of a mountain…7000 ft and change if I remember correctly. There were two queen size beds…super comfortable… and two twin beds. These are homes people either buy and use as rentals or they are homes they use themselves and rent out when they aren’t using them. This is the case for this rental. It was fully stocked. Anything we could have wanted, the house was there. We did have a few tiny issues but they were so minor they were things we’d have problems with in our own house, you know?

1. A full length mirror.
2. The trash can in the kitchen has a terrible lid so it kept falling. You know you’d have this problem in your own house so you’d put that on your list. Get a new trash can.
3. The stairs going down to the house were a bit tall for my mom and sister so I might consider a ramp or something. I didn’t have a problem with them but someone older might.
4. Shaughnessy washed theboy’s shirt after the rehearsal dinner and it came out with rust from the washer. Sean was in town so he stopped and picked up another one from Target. That could have been bad but it was easily fixed.
5. The shower was #notmyfavorite

1675 sq ft.
one full bath, one half.
Average cost $180 a night (for that much space in Evergreen is crazy good)

Could those issues be any more minor? They were pretty minor. The woman who rented to us was so amazing. She was kind and helpful and very communicative. She let us go in early and when a gift was accidentally found to have been thrown out in the trash (still in box and everything) she dug through the trash (!) and is meeting me in town to deliver it. She’s quite wonderful. I gave her and the house a complete five stars and if I could give them more I would. She was great.
On VRBO she is Peace of Mind vacation rental #795862 and she has 66 reviews with a rating of 4.9 (six people rated her a 4 star but their ratings are all great..ha)
I would stay there again.
The view from the deck…photo credit by Shaughnessy


Yeah, it’s that beautiful. Anytime anyone thinks about moving away they just go to the mountains. It cures all that ails us.
~~
Shaughnessy and my mom have beautiful and adorable short cute hair that suits them so perfectly I’m incredibly jealous. Catherine has long lovely hair you can actually do something with. I have…hair. Celiac hair thankyouverymuch.

So I hired Hilarie Austin. She is also the photographer at Serendipity Photography by Hilarie Austin. Catherine’s hair turned out darling and I really loved it.  I’m sorry I currently don’t have photos. I have very difficult hair though and my favorite Princess Anna has frequently told me how awful it is (she says it with love and I don’t mind at all). My hair wasn’t long enough and it just wasn’t my favorite to begin with so it wasn’t Hilarie’s fault it was my hair’s fault. She did a beautiful job with what she had to work with. If I had it to do over again I would have left it down. I really wanted it down but the day before Evergreen had TERRIBLE wind and more wind was predicted.  I envisioned crazy wind photos. Well we were only in photos for about 3 minutes anyway and there was no wind at all that day so it wouldn’t have mattered. I’d rather have good hair. I was really self conscious of a tiny little head with stupid hair the whole night. I wanted to hide in a closet.  I should always go with my instincts. And with what Shaughnessy says. She suggested it when I said my head hurt. I should have listened.
Hilarie was darling. She was funny and nice and very very talented. I would totally hire her again. She did a great job on both of us.

~~~
For our makeup I hired Ally Wright Triolo. She is also on Instagram at @beautynouveaux .

She did a really beautiful job coming in with suitcases and airbrush plug-in things, brushes and tools and seriously…that girl had stuff. She was not messing around. She was so fun and man we really lucked out with great people that day.

And oh…the eyelashes.

~~~

Our “getting ready” day was so fun. It was relaxing and laid back…talking and laughing and eating pizza and drinking beer.
Okay, I didn’t do either of those things. But it was there.

The day was really just the perfect way to relax before a big event.

The guys were also VERY stressed and began getting ready hours before the event…


~~~~

Shaughnessy and I went for a run that morning….you should know we were at the TOP of the mountain. The top. The…top. Really.
The driveway starts out like this….



Terrible, right? Really not pretty at all.
And the road continues with the fall leaves, babbling brooks, deer nibbling at the side of the road…it’s incredible.
Here’s a sign on the way up the mountain to give you an idea of the road…



It’s pretty freakin’ steep and windy.  So we innocently ran down the mountain completely besotted with runner’s bliss. In the back of my head I knew we’d have to go up and it would not be good but…the down was just so great. So I encouraged the bad behavior.

It was windy and steep and the most beautiful fall mountain road you’ve ever seen.


Photos all by Shaughnessy

We walked back up. There was no running up that mountain.

Shaughnessy may have been able to run it but I totally walked. Although I was texting for part of it and I can’t concentrate and run at the same time (wedding day stuff) and also talking so I definitely had no air.

I’m going to say it ranks as one of my favorite runs ever. It was so good. I loved the weekend for those little moments. There were butterflies and leaves flying and birds chirping and deer nibbling and it was like a Disney movie. Shaughnessy said she was “Snow Whiting it”. Ain’t that the truth. What a perfect day.  It was short run….like two miles total I think? Short and sweet.

And there you have our day.
~~~
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Run on…

Everyone says now is not the time…

…but forgive me if I politicize the hell out of the shooting in Las Vegas anyway. Because our ridiculous gun laws (or lack thereof?) allow just anyone and their mentally ill neighbor to own 42 weapons (to include semi automatic) and take them up to the 32nd floor of some hotel and shoot the hell out of a concert killing 59 people and wounding 525 (read that again. 59 dead…Five HUNDRED twenty five wounded is the last tally I read)

Just one guy…

You get my wayward point.

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I want to point out that I grew up in Montana (the state) and I lived on elk and deer meat. My son just a few weeks ago went hunting and was overjoyed to fill his freezer with elk meat as he’s in school and their budget is squeaky tight. He was respectful and honored the entire experience of hunting.

He was hunting for food, not people.
In case you missed my point, Jimmy Kimmel says it way better than I do.

~~~~

Let’s not forget Puerto Rico.
~~~~~
Sean had the following experience with @verizon. This is long but kinda entertaining when you consider A: what people will put up with and B: what companies will make us do.
@verizon Android had an update. I don’t know what it was called. Remember I went to the dark side and I own an iphone now.
Alex’s phone updated fine. MT’s phone updated fine. Sean’s phone stopped working properly. The battery died ridiculously fast. Unbelievably fast. He had problem after problem.
He did a factory reset at least twice.
Pretty sure he prayed over it.
Nothing.
In all fairness, God was busy with Puerto Rico.
He called them after giving it a few days of “work the bugs out” and they did this whole…”let’s open a ticket and work with you” crap for like a week and a half AT LEAST.  Then they would CALL him like every few days with a “how’s it doing?” stupid phone call. They told him it was one of his apps.
Bet you can’t tell how I feel about the whole thing.
At one point, I kid you not, they had him take a walk in the park for an hour after a reset to see how the battery was lasting after he took all the apps off.  He had nothing on his phone. 
I’m like…seriously. You are the NICEST GUY IN THE WORLD>
Anyone else would have just demanded a new phone at this point.
He went around them to Google (it’s a Google phone…he does love it btw) and they hooked him up so he’d get a new phone. just AFTER he gets that phone situation started he gets notified (the left hand isn’t talking to the right thank the Lord) that @verizon wants him to work with one of the app people because it must be an app thing. Because it can’t be the phone. We’ll do anything but replace the phone. 

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To do a very quick recap:
phone worked great.
update.
phone stopped working.
Must not be the updates fault. Let’s draw this out for weeks.
Well they finally sent him a new phone and…I know…the suspense is killing you…surprise surprise
It didn’t work.

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So he called them back. Because he lives to be on the phone with @verizon. MORE hours on the phone. And it was “fixed”.  Because this apparently is Verizon’s motto:

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Sean didn’t have a any mimosas. He just had another broken phone.
bastards.
So he called them BACK. He didn’t really have the energy to but I encouraged it. Turns out…his new second phone was used.

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I know. I was, too. I was just wow. So shocked.  Okay, I wasn’t. That was sarcasm.  He talked to them for a LONG time and then I came into the room and was insistent he stop taking this (who else would be THIS PATIENT??) and he said, “um…he can hear you”.
Um…I KNOW. I’m not being rude. I’m just being OBVIOUS>
But by then he said, yeah, they’re sending me a new phone. (keeping track? new phone #2)
Check this out. Ready? READY?????
The guy told him…, “we have no way of knowing if it’s new or not so if it gives you problems just keep sending it back”

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I had three thoughts.
Fix this.
Fix it immediately.
and issue an apology for the terrible customer service resulting in what has to be at least six hours on the phone trying to “fix” it rather than just replace it. That cannot be reasonable.
Sean is really really nice. And really patient. And I think there is a way to be really nice while also saying ~I work with my phone, I’m in constant contact with my work. I need it fixed properly today. Right now. ~while also not being any kind of a jerk.

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~~~~~
I stayed home yesterday and hung out. Cleaning, organizing, working on the website for church and just generally getting things done. Nothing frantic but knowing I had to stay current since the rest of the week will be busy. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do some of my cleaning later so I did it then.
Today I’m making Oreo bon bons and a lot of my cleaning involved my kitchen. That place has to be spotless. Also, it’s dominoes for me. I clean one counter and pretty soon I’m under the stove and the fridge. Freakin’ happens all the time. But at least I recognize that.

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~~~~~
I have a meeting this morning, errands to run and then those bon bons.

Sadly because all I did was clean, do laundry and work on the computer for hours and hours and hours all day…

I had no workout. I was planning it for in the evening and it started seriously pouring rain with some crazy ass thunder and weather announcing itself so at 40* I said…you know? I’m good. Rest day it is!

I KNOW>

I was sad, too.
Today it will be done.

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Run on…

I figure whatever I’m missing will show up right after…

I was reading an article in Outside about the most recent rock slide on El Capitan this last September 27th, just a few days ago.  El Capitan is well known for being a rock climbers dream and there were approximately 30 climbers on it at the time the apartment size sheet of rock came careening down.

The article linked to another page that was more of a chat page where climbers logged in with their personal user names and they clearly knew each other. They posted photos and what they knew of the rock slide so far. People were upset and worried about friends and fellow climbers. There was one woman posting (judging by her user name) and the rest were men or you were guessing gender but everyone was equally distraught at the obvious disaster that had happened and their concern for friends. One climber died in the accident, with 30 climbers up there it would have been much worse.

where am I going with this? At the end of the stream of conversations where 16 people are equally distraught and exclaiming profanities at the loss of life and the possible loss of friends, one guy comes on at the end and says to the known female, “take it easy… (and then names her specifically)..” and then proceeds to explain to her what the situation is and why this happened.

I wanted to reach through the computer. Why not take it easy to the fifteen others who were just as upset?
I can’t tell you how many times someone has said I was “hysterical” or “freaking out”. Um…no.
She was legitimately upset just like everyone else was. It’s not like she was running through a room screaming uncontrollably.
I have so little patience for people treating women that way. I get talked to like that a lot because I have more energy than the average person and it tends to be misunderstood. Energy does not equate to hysteria. It just means I can last longer than you can. Drink more coffee and see me later but don’t bring your condescending attitude.

It’s possible this has bothered me for awhile.

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~~~~~

This has to be the best and the worst story of the day.
Alma couple rescues dog missing for five weeks off Mount Boss

Their 14 year old lab/pit bull mix, Chloe, went missing while they were hiking Mount Boss. Five weeks go by and they are sure she is gone for good. A new couple is in town and they’ve gone hiking and by chance at the end of the day they hear some barking. They stick around, determined to find out where it’s from and they find Chloe…barely 1/3 of her original weight but still alive.
I’m so happy for little Chloe and her parents but the poor girl. What a miserable 5 weeks she lived through. I hope she’s sufficiently pampered every single remaining day of her life. And I hope it’s on satin pillows.

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I get it, this is a cat. I couldn’t find a dog. We take what we can get.
~~~~
I’m feeling ridiculously ahead of the game, very organized and prepared for the wedding weekend in 9 days (8 days now I think).
Something must be wrong.
Let’s not panic. I’m sure it’ll come to me eventually.
Meanwhile, I have everything carefully timed out in a timeline for the days we need it. The addresses we need, the costs associated with each task and who needs to be where.
I honestly don’t know what I’m missing.
Sheesh. It’s probably something huge like…clothing or a person.
Let’s not think about it.

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~~~~~

I was really careful about eating yesterday but something definitely didn’t like me and my stomach was super grumbly. Probably just life. So I hung around the house until it was too late to run outside and figured I’d do the treadmill. Then it was like….ten o’clock and I was pretty determined to do that and then I was yawning and wishing I could sleep. I was also having multiple conversations with people.
I bailed.

#myworkoutwas
10,000+ steps
20 squats which isn’t many but I was killing time while I was cooking chicken. I KNOW> don’t yell at me, Geez.

It’s a cop out workout but whatever I did it.
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Today I am on my way to get my hair done (Princess Anna!). Since I didn’t run yesterday I am DEFINITELY going to today because I miss it already.

Now I’ve jinxed it.

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Run on…