Are you an empath? And what is one? Do I want to be one? Do I have a choice…

So I’ve been interested in the word empath.- Being an empath is when you are affected by other people’s energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others. Your life is unconsciously influenced by others’ desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods. Being an empath is much more than being highly sensitive and it’s not just limited to emotions. -source

I’ve heard it being passed around rather liberally lately and it seems everyone and their neighbor, best friend and cat is an empath (by the way, if your cat is an empath I am highly interested in meeting him or her. Most cats just have one mood and we all know what that is..).

When I hear it I’m taken to Charmed with Piper, Phoebe and Paige, the supernatural empath. I know it’s not the same thing but that’s where my head goes.  I get it. It’s not The Handmaid’s Tale. But we all have a vice and mine was Charmed. Piper got to blow things up. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want that power.  Think of the anger issues that would be abused with that power.

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don’t you judge me one bit…you guys have your television, I have mine.

There was a search plethora of empath results and I didn’t really know where to begin. Most of them were “30 ways to tell if you’re an empath” or “20 ways to tell…” or lengthy little lists like that.
But I grabbed onto Psychology Today for something and found this:
10 Traits Empathic People Share 

1. Empaths are highly sensative-Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually open, and good listeners.
2. Empaths absorb other people’s emotions– Empaths are highly attuned to other people’s moods, good and bad
3. Many empaths are introverted. -Empaths become overwhelmed in crowds, which can amplify their empathy. They tend to be introverted and prefer one-to-one contact or small groups. Even if an empath is more extroverted they may prefer to limit how much time they spend in a crowd or at a party.
4. Empaths are highly intuitive– Empaths experience the world through their intuition. It is important for them to develop their intuition and listen to their gut feelings about people.
5. Empaths need alone time– As super-responders, empaths find being around people can be draining, so they periodically need time alone to recharge.
6. Empaths can become overwhelmed in intimate relationships– Too much togetherness can be difficult for an empath so they may avoid intimate relationships.
7. Empaths are targets for energy vampires– An empath’s sensitivity makes them particularly easy marks for energy vampires, whose fear or rage can sap their energy and peace of mind.
8. An empath becomes replenished in nature– The busyness of everyday life can be too much for an empath.
9. Empath’s have highly tuned senses- An empath’s nerves can get frayed by noise, smells, or excessive talking.
10. Empaths have huge hearts but sometimes give too much– Empaths are big-hearted people and try to relieve the pain of others: a homeless person holding a cardboard “I’m hungry” sign at a busy intersection, a hurt child, a distraught friend.

So I hit 9 out of 10 solid. Number 6 was a no but the rest…dead on. Some of them so accurate I wanted to shout out “yes!”.
So I switched to The Mind Unleashed and went through that list of 30…I know. It’s not Psychology Today but bear with me. It was crazy.

I’m 25 out of 30.

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So…that was interesting. I mean it was a hard 25. No wavering there. I’m going to assume that I’m at the very least highly sensitive and this explains why I can’t read an article to my husband without crying, why I have no interest in watching the truly violent shows (and if I do, I close my eyes at the worst parts…or I leave the room).
I felt a little less crazy, reading that list.

~~~~~

I start a new job this week. It’s part time but I’m my church’s new office admin and I’ll be re-organizing it. I am now officially REALLY busy.
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I like using my brain though so it’ll be good.
I’ve been working with them for about two months so it’s not really new,  just show up at the church and actually be a presence now. There are definitely new duties attached to that.
I do like organizing. Did I mention that? Finding order where there wasn’t.

~~~~~

I’ve felt slightly under the weather all week long. One thing after another just not cooperating. We had crazy weather the other day with 26mph wind gusts. The result was an overall aching and a migraine today. But I drugged up and went straight to sleep.
When I woke up…it was gone.
SHUT UP..I KNOW. I couldn’t believe it either. That NEVER happens.
It was a good day.
I realize it’s odd to hear me say migraine day was a good day but…it was a good day.
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~~~~~
I have a doctor appointment today…a regular Celiac/thyroid checkup. We’ll see if I’m broken or whatever. Grocery shopping. Computer work. It’s going to be a gorgeous week of 70’s so …fall weather, golden leaves and 70*…
this week could not be more perfect.


~~~~
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yes please. 

Run on…

Malachi will never be the same. Or he will but I won’t.

Sean and I went to church on Sunday and after church spent a considerable amount of time working on the computers there.

Edited to say: Sean spent a considerable amount of time working on the computers there.
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We then went to breakfast and by the time we got home it was one in the afternoon. We’d been gone for four hours. Malachi had trapped himself in the bathroom. Now…I don’t want to get into details as to why he likes to go into the bathroom but let’s just say he’s  a dog and I have a cat. But I’m pretty careful to keep things VERY clean so he doesn’t have a lot of success and we’re always on him about going down there. So like any little kid would do, the minute the parents were gone he was down the stairs and BAM! got himself locked in there.

At which point he  forgot his intentions and COMPLETELY FREAKED THE HELL OUT LIKE OH MY GOSH I’LL NEVER GET OUT WHAT THE HELL!!!

So when we got home four hours later I’m surprised he hadn’t keeled over from a heart attack. There was urine (yeah, he wet himself he was so scared) toilet paper and cat litter EVERYWHERE in this bathroom. He was COVERED in it and the bathroom was covered in it. I mean….it took me an hour to clean a bathroom that’s like four feet square.

I actually felt bad for him.

Sean..did not so much feel bad for him.

So there was that.
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he may not go down there for awhile…
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~~~~~

I’ve had a fever for three days. Low grade (99.5 to 100- I usually run 97.6 thank you thyroid), nothing exciting but I feel pretty confident it’s Celiac related. I’m not sick. I’m able to work out, do my normal stuff. I just feel a little under the weather. No one has to call in the doctors or anything. Just…under the weather and super tired. And of course my brain is just not working at all. I tried to have a conversation with my sister the other day and I seriously couldn’t come up with any words. Like…WORDS.

Poor thing. She just had to listen to me say, “um” for about five minutes while I tried to make my brain work.
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~~~~~

I watched the rest of The Keepers OH MY GOSH. What a piece of work, this documentary. Just really. I cried through half of it at least. So intense. I went through bouts of anger and sadness and complete and utter disbelief. And of course you put your own kid in these situations and then you want to kill someone that they are hurting people like this.

My biggest problem with these documentaries and true crime podcasts is that they don’t actually solve anything, they just present the information and at the end they know longer have 10 people frustrated, sad and wondering who did it, now they have 5,000,000 people frustrated, sad and wondering who did it.
Can you tell I’m not good at puzzles? I like them but God help the person that loses one of the pieces.

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~~~~~

Today I watched the Lady Gaga documentary  Gaga: Five Foot Two and I thought it was intimate, painful and vulnerable. There’s so much more to her than a meat dress which I think so many people just assume and dismiss.  I can’t imagine the demands of her life and the physical pain she lives with. I live with pain but I don’t have to be on demand all the time.  Adrenaline is a powerful drug.
~~~~~
#myworkoutwas

60 pushups (yikes)
50 squats
3.5 milesinthecoolairitwasfreakingamazingjustsayin’youshouldbejealous
15 minutes of strength with weights

At which point I collapsed asleep.
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Run on…

 

all the stairs would be better without this terrible air…

  • Thursday I finished my crazy errands and then I told myself…I must nap.  I set my phone for an hour and totally crashed. I slept until I wasn’t nauseous anymore. That ended up being an hour and a half.
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    By the time I woke up I had to be a grown up and figure out dinner.
    If I were rich I’d so have a chef.  That would be my splurge.
  • I have a friend in Florida and a friend in St Thomas. It took awhile to hear from her but we finally did get the okay from my friend in St Thomas. The island was hit so hard the news was reporting concern for life was their highest priority. I’m over this whole hurricane thing. Climate change. Could we wrap our head around that please? She reported the hurricane was “terrifying”. She lost her entire roof. When they came out after (she has two kids…a teenager and a six year old) the power lines were in the street, the trees were down and there were refrigerators in the street. It was crazy. We’re really grateful she’s okay but there’s another one thinking about a follow up so we’re watching close.
    #hurricaneeverything
  • I have an acquaintance who decided to have a conversation on her page asking for education about Dreamers. She’s incredibly conservative. Her and her friends were quite judgmental and seemed to have one thing on their mind throughout the conversation. They seemed more upset about the legality of everything than whether or not these people were put in a situation they have no control over and are just trying to stay in the only life they’ve ever known. One of her friends seemed offended at the term “dreamers” like who are they to dream? We all have dreams for our kids…and so on… My reasonable darling friend popped on to say…no. dream. It’s an acronym.  I don’t think they read. I think they just hear Fox news and get mad. #dreamers #DACA #bekind 
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  • When you have a good hair day and you don’t want to run… #goodhairday
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  • Yesterday I went  to Shrine of Cabrini with my friend and climbed the stairs~twice~in the terrible awful very bad smokey air. It was bad. I have good strong lungs, I can’t imagine how people are breathing in this with damaged lungs or asthma. My head started to really hurt by this evening and I totally blame the smoke. It’s feeling better but I credit the really expensive drugs. #allthestairs #prayerandexercise 
    We went to Morrison for Mexican food where she spent the lunch hour harassing me and laughing at me because I have a ridiculous amount of energy and she said she was laughing at my facial expressions. I don’t know what that meant but I’m going with good because that’s all I’ve got.  Lunch was awesome except our server forgot we existed~twice~.  TWICE. I’m usually fairly memorable so…that was bad.  I ate my weight in chips and salsa. The whole meal. Just kept eating. It’s okay. You can judge me. I totally don’t mind. #dontjudgeme #Ineedmorechips
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  • Thursday’s workout:
    I walked the dog for 2.5 miles
    I did my yoga
    30 pushups
    30 squats
    Friday’s workout:
    2.5 miles
    climbed Shrine of Cabrini twice
  • I am meeting another friend today and after that Sean and I are going to try and spend an hour or two together. He has some studying to do. I have work to do. I think we’re just looking for some down time. So much stress, he’s pretty worn out. Also…my yard needs to be mowed SO MUCH. That’s getting done for sure.
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    Run on…

How do you sign up for a race? Do you go looking or do you wait for it to come to you?

  • I’m playing with my blog…you may have noticed. Since I have a list of approximately 37 things to get done I think it’s the equivalent of cleaning out my closet instead of preparing my house for company. It’s not quite avoidance it’s just one thing led to another and at 3am when I couldn’t sleep I started messing with things and there you have it. I don’t know how I’ll leave it so if you show up tomorrow it could be another surprise! It’s like a new dress every day. Sometimes it’s a good thing and sometimes it’s not. I’ll try and get the work done quickly and thank you for your patience!
  • Malachi and I went for a lovely walk tonight. We went a different direction which completely freaks him out. He does not like change. He pulls on the leash and lean towards the regular trail to the park where he has taken a walk nearly every day for the last twelve years. You’d think he’d be bored. The new direction provides him with 472 places to stop and sniff. It took us a while to get home.
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  • I’m in a baking kind of mood but I’m not in an eating kind of mood so I’m going to try some glutened stuff. I have a friend that is loaning me her glutened food processor because I just cannot go buy another item that I’ll use once a year if I’m lucky. Plus who knows how good this will be. I’ll give it a shot and if it’s good maybe I’ll make it again, if not..well…I tried. I’m an average cook. No awards here. FYI: there is no flour involved and I’m wearing gloves. All precautions will be taken…
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  • My friend is going to Peru in like…7 days but she’s waiting on her all important visa and passport to come back from the consulate. Can you guess where the consulate is? Yep…Houston. They’ve given her updates. It’s closed until Tuesday the 4th…then they believe it’s ready to go and they’ll overnight it. Meanwhile, neither of us is sleeping because she’ll lose her trip and I worry for her. Now, grand scheme~ is this more important the the people who have lost their lives and their homes? Absolutely not. And if it doesn’t come through for her she’s decided she wasn’t meant to go right now and thank the Lord for insurance.  But it hasbeen a year of planning so there will be a certain level of disappointment for sure.
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  •  Devon Yanko, female champion of the Leadville Trail 100 Run wrote her story and it’s such a pleasure to read. I love to read about people that are running for the sheer joy of it.  Those of us that live here feel a particular bond to this race and after Sean and I “ran” ~I use that word loosely~ the Leadville Heavy Half we are in awe of everyone that runs it. It’s an incredible show of personal strength and courage just to run the race but to win it with joy and grace is the icing. It’s a great read. Leadville 100 Mile
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  • I get a billion emails ~no, I’m not exaggerating, why would you think I’m exaggerating?~ every day about this race company or that race company and they’re all offering a race coming up I should totally sign up for. Every time I go to delete it and instead I think…hm. Just in case I fall in love with one of these races I better not. I better keep getting these race notifications. FYI I have never once not one time never have I ever signed up for a race that came through via my email…anyone else?  How do you sign up for races? Facebook? Email? Friend? Do you go looking?
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  • I’m running this weekend but I’m also grabbing some incline work. I need to get my stairs in at least once…maybe a couple times before the 9/11 stair climb that Michelle totally suckered me into. Geez I will sign up for anything. We’ve nearly done the whole thing once before just to see what it was going to be about and neither of us felt like we were going to die but still I’d like to be slightly more prepared. Maybe we’ll go to the Shrine of Cabrini…we get our stairs in and some meditation and spirituality, too. I could use some silence right now.
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    Okay this is just funny but it’s not motivating so just laugh at it and move on past!
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    This is 100% true. Image result for running quotes
    Run on…

When your perfect shoes turn on you.

  • As I was typing last night...I was also scratching scratching scratching. I took my second dose of Benadryl. I went out to run my list down and somewhere in the middle of it I had to stop at the grocery store clear across town and run inside for Benadryl. Standing in the store I did the “itching” dance. I was on fire.  I had a small rash on my arms and everything hurt. I took an Allegra in the morning like I usually do but it didn’t help. I was a mess. Thank the Lord for antihistamines. Today I am much better.

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I
 don’t look like this but I totally wiggle like this because this is my life.

  • I took our friend Damon to the airport this morning…that’s why this is so late. And when I went to his house to pick him up (I’ve never been there before) I totally cracked up laughing.  So…here is an idea of MY house…
     source
    NOT my house…just a random house I found on Zillow…but very similar
    Pretty average. Ordinary suburban house.
    Here is an idea of Damon’s house…
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    add a three car garage to the side and you might be there…freaking huge. The house is HUGE. I think you could put four of my houses in one of his. I laughed so hard. Turns out all of his friends have the same reaction.  We’re close friends to Damon so we’re comfortable enough to say to him, “DUDE. you’re HOUSE is HUGE”. Rather than “what  a lovely home you have” which I would say to frankly anyone else.
  • I went looking for shoes last night and about five minutes after arriving at DSW I found them. The perfect shoes. My dream shoes. The shoes I’ve been looking for all my life. They’re beautiful. They’re comfortable. They were…THE shoes. I looked at the price and they were $49. Oh my gosh they were also reasonable.  I couldn’t believe it.  I continued to walk for another few minutes just in case but I finally thought…nope. I love them. Those are the shoes. So I went back to get them I grabbed the box at the top thus revealing the ACTUAL price of the KATE SPADE shoes I was in total and absolute dreamy love with…$149. Yeah…I missed that little “1” there…
    Sadly..>I put the shoes back. I thought we were friends but no. My feelings were pretty hurt that Kate would turn on me like that but we were obviously not meant to be besties. If I win the lottery those shoes are MINE.
    Below is a picture of  a pair of her shoes that are similar. I can’t find the right ones online. They’re not suede, they’re plain black with cream straps instead and the heel is black GLITTER> Just enough glitter to be gorgeous and not too much to be ostentatious. ::swoon:: The heel wasn’t too high. They were sooo comfortable (I would expect nothing less for $150 shoes).  In my next life maybe…(on a side note I had several women friends that tried very hard to “encourage” me to buy them anyway. We are our own worst enemy! saboteurs 😏
    Main Image - kate spade new york 'jessica' pointy toe pump (Women) source
    #shoeporn
  • My friend in Houston is still dry and thankful.  The rain stopped for her yesterday so they took a walk around the neighborhood if for no other reason than they had to get outside…the kids were going insane. Four years old and cabin fever. Today she sent me a video of the kids with fidget spinners flyin’ around on top of their heads like the Globetrotters and their basketballs. Not only was it hilarious but it clearly showed they have talents beyond the normal four year olds. Promise of a big future. Dream big.
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  • Yesterday I did a quick HIIT and walked Malachi but was itching so bad and so freakin’ high on Benadryl I had to sleep. I crashed so hard I didn’t even move until 8:15 this morning. That’s CRAZY. I’m surprised Sean wasn’t taking my pulse…
  • I bought a dress from Thred Up. Technically I bought two. Anyone else use it? I love the concept and I think I could really use it but I’ve had two fails so far so I think I’m done with dresses.  It’s a second hand store online with nice high end clothing at a significant discount. They don’t have a GREAT return policy. It’s good. I mean, you can return things so there’s that. But you have to do it within 14 days, you have to pay shipping, take the return in credit. So, that sucks. Their measuring system doesn’t seem to be very accurate. I buy a lot of stuff online and I can usually just buy a size without issue but once you start adding in designer clothes you get vanity sizing and it’s a crap shoot. I could wear a size 10 or a size 4. So measuring is critical.  After paying the shipping several times I’ve thrown away too much money and now I’m just going to return the second dress for a refund. I have a credit from the first dress (it was really inexpensive ~yay~) so that’s not bad but the second one is a little painful. It’s just frustrating. I’m settling and I think I’ll wear something I already have. Snoopy Dance that it fits! (first time in several years ~damn fibroid~)
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    I also looked at the selling concept. I really only had one thing to go by that I could think of on the spot and that’s a gown I bought that I don’t need after all. It’s a $400 couture gown with the tags still on it. They have an “estimate what it’s worth” calculator and I had to pick another designer because I couldn’t find mine listed. I picked a comparable designer and filled the rest in and they said they’d give me $9 for it. Ha. I suspect they might give me a little more but probably not significantly more so…I think I’ll keep it😂
  • I walked Malachi this morning and it’s cooling off now so I might go for a run. I’d like to do a HIIT but we’ll see what I’m up for. I gave a little jog from the store to the car and felt such ridiculous joy at that it made me giggle. I love to run so much I can’t imagine not doing it. When I picked up Damon today his house is over where one of my favorite long routes takes me. He was asking me about it and I told him the hard part the beginning.

    Once you reach this particular sidewalk there’s this lovely downhill slope and the view is beautiful, the trees line the street and it just begs for me to run…feet flying down the hill.  I love to run it in the evening just as the sun is thinking about setting and the air is cool…my headphones are on.  It’s my favorite and I wish I was there right now. Running really is my most spiritual place.
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    Run on…

Seek Ye First… there’s the lesson

My day started yesterday with my house flooding.

It ended with my water heating dying.

Everything in between was just as amazing including a spider (no, he wasn’t small) actually crawling across my keyboard.

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I was going to go for a run but insanity (life) intervened and I had to wait until evening. Evening came and it became one thing after another and then when my sanity was actually at risk the winds were 17mph.

I decided I better not.

Was I bummed?
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Was I messaging someone about the best kind of drink to have?

Hell I was sitting in the parking lot of the liquor store discussing the benefits of Rum and Coke with my brother in law via email. I can always count on his dark sense of humor to make me laugh. And also to guide me to the best alcohol. When I told him I was looking for alcohol, knowing me so well you would expect him to say …don’t do it …it’s not good for you. Instead he said, “I like Rum.” And we went from there.  I didn’t end up caving though because I didn’t have the emotional energy to google what was gluten free and what wasn’t.
In all fairness the liquor store parking lot was the same parking lot as the grocery store but I was still thinkin’ about it. I can’t be bothered to drink. It’s too damn much work and not nearly as much fun as people talk about.

I think I handle most stress pretty well. I know right now you’re thinking…sure you do.
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I’m a ~power through it~ kind of person. I may rant later but what are husbands and girlfriends for? I can usually laugh it off, make a joke here or there. Be practical and say this is what we do and we just have to get through it.

 

I have a lot going on. I carry a lot of emotion, spirituality and intelligence all bundled up in one hot passionate mess.

When I think about how much I have going on and how I’m handling it I want to think I should grow the hell up and what’s my problem. And the other part of me says I’ve just snapped. I handled it and I handled it and I handled it and now I’m just done and rather than scream at the world and tell people exactly what I’m thinking, I choose to have a complete meltdown and process it.

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” ~Luke 6:38 NIV

(side note: my post has now been written twice and disappeared twice. Heavy sigh. Moving forward)

~~~~~
I took Skosh to the vet this morning where our wonderful doctor said, “he’s the picture of health! He looks WONDERFUL!” It was pretty great news. And then I gave him $200. ( I had to pick up meds for the dog, too, sadly)

On the way to the vet though, the cat was crazy ass on speed stressed and all over the place.  For lack of anything to do for him (he doesn’t like the cat carrier after last year’s injury that had him at the vet every 3 days for a month) I started singing the first song that came to me. It was a hymn my dad used to sing called Seek Ye First. Here is a random person singing it.

I sang it very quietly and he laid down and practically fell asleep. Also, hey God, are you trying to tell me something?
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~~~~
I did some strength training this morning. I’ll do more tonight and then I’ll run. Hopefully the wind goes home and doesn’t come back to stay. I don’t want it.
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~~~~~

After a day like yesterday running doesn’t always help. We like to think all of our problems are fixed by a good run.
Venting.
Ranting.
Telling someone your problems and getting a lot of advice you really didn’t want and definitely didn’t ask for…that doesn’t help for sure.

What helps is time with real actual problem solving.  Talking to someone who makes a real honest legitimate effort to listen to you, to not judge you and to not offer unsolicited, mean spirited advice to you. Whether that is through a strong sane calm friend or therapy.    And I think learning to work within your emotional and spiritual limitations recognizing we all  have limitations. The point where we finally say we’re done and we aren’t going to not take care of ourselves anymore.
I believe there has to be a way to be a kind, generous person and also take care of yourself. To give and give lovingly with an unselfish heart.

Sometimes life is heavy. My usually joyful heart (ridiculously happy actually) is a little heavy right now. In a day or two I’ll be better. I get to see MT #thekidnotthestate

Remember…#bejoyful #bekind 

Just run | running quotes | | quotes for runners | | motivational quotes | | inspirational quotes | | quotes | #quotes #runningquotes #motivationalquotes https://www.runrilla.com/

Run on…

Do you have to say every thought out loud?

Sean went to work yesterday which meant…

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The honeymoon I mean. He’s supposed to stay home with me allthetime!

See, I typed that BEFORE and then he came home from work and told me a little about his evening. And I started to tell him about my day and his eyes glazed over. And I said, “yeah, you’re not even listening. I’m not even going to bother talking to you about this. Whatever”. And I got up and left the room. I came downstairs, made him dinner and seriously I’m pretty sure he has no clue what freaking happened upstairs in his office. Not one word. I think he thinks I was talking, he responded, I just gracefully (because I’m so graceful) left his office to go make dinner and all was right with the world.

Dude. ::shakeshead::
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Now I’m totally okay with him going back to work.
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It’s a good thing I like him.

~~~~~

I went to see my friend yesterday and her mom is going through counseling for gastric bypass. The counseling lasts a year long…they’re incredibly careful about making sure you are psychologically ready to take such a drastic step and that you recognize how you came to be in such a position to begin with.  After a lot of counseling and discussion one of the things they have learned is she has a family member that is “encouraging” her to lose weight and diet. She’s constantly on her about her appearance and according to the psychologist this has the opposite effect. It took me 20 seconds to find an article about it. It’s crazy. There’s a fine line between being encouraging and being demoralizing which causes the exact opposite reaction.

We want people to be healthy. Appearance CANNOT BE the  primary focus in our lives.  We have to move OUT of that mindset and recognize the old way of thinking was broken. It was broken.  The person has to want to change, they have to do it on their own, harassing, nagging and effectively wearing them down emotionally because you don’t like how they look is not only not going to work but they’ll feel horrible and sad and bad about themselves for your agenda. 

SCIENCE SAYS: Nagging Your Family Members To Lose Weight Has The Opposite Effect

However, she went on to explain that pressure from family to lose weight can increase stress, which is a known cause of weight gain. “We all know someone who points out our weight gain or offers to help us lose weight. These results suggest that these comments are misguided.”

I don’t blame my parents for my weight gain; my choices and lifestyle have been my own, and there are a number of other emotional factors that have contributed. But nagging me to lose weight — even when it’s done with the best of intentions — hasn’t helped. I want to lose weight. I just don’t want to talk about it with them, especially when I’m not the one bringing it up. ~xojane

We learn in grade school that words hurt.  Women need to support each other and remember the struggles that brought us to where we are. That we are made up of more than the weight we carry. We are more than the body image people see and judge. If how someone looks is that important perhaps we need to look internally and ask ourselves is this about them or is this about me?   Their life isn’t about you and you hurt them every time you bring it up.

I have a family member who is overweight. She doesn’t mince words, she knows the situation she’s in. She recognizes her life and the work ahead of her. She’s beautiful, smart, talented pretty damn honest about the fact that her weight is her business and  extremely personal. It’s her story. She knows what she needs to do and encouragement, nagging and harassing is the exact opposite of that. I don’t talk to her about her weight, her diet, her exercise or what she wears. It’s her story to live and if she wants to talk to me about it, she will. 

Leave your friend or family member to do this journey on their own. If they ask for your help then you can give it.
~~~~~

No! I don't think I would be. It'd kind of be a good reminder if they bleed from the inside out. We would all be a little more careful with our words
Run on…

My favorite things about Michelle.

This was just a lovely quiet weekend by myself for the most part. We had lunch with Shaughnessy and Adam on Saturday, we get to see them far more than we get to see Alex and Megan. Different parts of town  you know. On Sunday Sean went back to his planned event that took all of his day and I went hiking with Miss Michelle on what had to be the most beautiful hike we’ve ever been on.

The trailhead was Apex but the eventual trail was Enchanted Forest Trail and it was not kidding.
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We felt like we were in a Disney movie it was so magical. At any moment little birds would fly out and sing to us as they put ribbons in our hair. It was so beautiful I lost count of how many times I stopped to say that and finally I just stopped so I could proclaim I felt like I was having a spiritual experience from this hike. It counts, so far, as my favorite and that’s saying something…I’ve hiked a lot. Michelle took a million photos and was generous enough to share one with me.

I know, right? She shared one.

I’ve got to get a new phone….I digress
Here is the photo…LOOK at this! 

I know, you’re thinking…huh…that does not look Disney magical. Well it’s a HEART.

This was on the trail in front of us…it’s hardly even real. A perfect heart in stone. The colors on the trail were the truest greens I’ve ever seen. It’s was covered and beautiful and magical.

Whatever just trust me.

So here are my favorite things about Michelle:

  1. She’s a real person with real issues. I know that I’m getting exactly what’s really happening and not the glossed over version you tell your mean neighbor. She puts it right out there and I can totally relate.  I can be totally and completely myself.
  2. She’s always willing to drive. I don’t mind driving (most people know this) though full disclosure I will totally map it even if I’m going around the block because I’m terrified of being lost. She also knows I’m afraid of spiders and being lost and continues to try to convince me to be afraid of snakes and lightening. Keep working on that, Michelle.
  3. She  gets the Celiac thing and is right on board with great places to eat and names them..which brings me to #4
  4. She makes decisions like a champ. Girl is a decision maker. ::swoon:: “Let’s meet at such and such on Tuesday at 11”. I love her. I would happily and cheerfully make at least two of those decisions or even HELP with those but she’s totally on it. Trails? She’s like…here are three trails…I’m like..yep. Let’s do that one…how’s 8? she says “see you then!” I love that. Decision maker. That is a girl after my own heart.
  5. She takes pictures! Now, I do harass her because she sends me ONE but if I asked her she’d send me all ten. And it is now on my list to go to the Verizon store to check out my phone options. ~MT has given me a virtually brand new phone that I can swap to but it’s a little bigger than I want so I’m resisting… I just really really need a good camera phone. This is killing me.~
  6. She is totally up for any and all adventures and if I ask her she’s all…yeah let’s go! At least once a week I can expect a message in my inbox to say “want to do THIS with me?” and it’ll include a link to a wild and crazy event that neither of us realistically should do but per our mantra...what the hell? 
  7. She loves the outdoors as much as I do and any chance to get outside she’ll do it.
    ~~~~~

When I came home I walked the puppy who by then had given up all hope of anyone ever spending time with him again so when I came in the door he didn’t even lift his little head the poor guy.
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Miraculously, after that I still had energy so I went for a three mile run and that felt amazing in the cool evening air so by the time the evening was done I had put in about 12 miles. It felt really good and I didn’t feel like I had overdone it at all. It was like…21,000 steps or something crazy ass like that.
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On that note, the crazy note, Ria from MotivationalMompersonaltraining.com is on a streak of 128 days of step goals (since January 1st she has surpassed the previous days step goal, each day gets higher because that’s how Garmin works) and yesterday she ran a half marathon  and then walked across town eventually reaching 51,617 steps in a day. I wonder how many days she can keep this streak up?

Today I’m supposed to do yoga so I’ll probably do that but Sean took the day off so I may go to Castle Rock to do the incline.

Oh you caught that, too, huh? Sean took the day off.  Pretty sweet of him to take the day off to spend with me….
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Don’t get excited he did it for the game… LOL…he just finished early so it worked out. And right now? He’s at work..he got called in to do something. My life in a nutshell.

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Ah, it’s okay. I’m just pickin’ on him.
~~~~~
yogadays.

Buddha quote "What you think you become" painting
Run on…

I have a love/hate relationship with hiking this trail. Mostly love. Well…

It’s Boston Marathon Day! And if your job lets you then it’s ~watch the marathon and wish you were running it while also witnessing Meb’s FINAL BOSTON RUN!~ I mean…damn. He’s so good. I could watch him run anytime and I am sad to see him retire.
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My job ~self employed and run your own business Heyyy~ does not let me watch the marathon because NBC won’t let me. I don’t pay for that channel. Bastards. Yes. I’m bitter.
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~~~~~
On Easter Sunday we went hiking. The kids all went their separate directions so we chose to head to the mountains. Sean, as usual, picked a hike and then read the description to me so I could decide yay or nay. Well this was a day I wasn’t paying a great deal of attention so I just said…SURE. I’ll totally do five miles on a trail that some people rate moderate and some people rate difficult and it has a 2200ft elevation climb that starts at like…8000ft.

That sounds FUN.

Not moving for three months means I”m completely out of shape. I got a pedicure right before my surgery on February 2nd and my feet are still baby soft. It’s so wrong. Every step my poor toes just protested with pre-blister.

This trail was unbelievable. Technically it was four trails. We started on Gregory Canyon, then Ranger, then EM Greenman trail, then finally Saddlerock. 

It was definitely work.
It was technical. Which means there’s going to be rocks and obstacles, sometimes steep elevation and possibly scrambling or using your hands.
Yep, yep and yep. We did it all yesterday. Definitely technical. My knees are a little achy today but otherwise I’m pretty good. Sean is going down stairs funny. Ha. I was really careful to stretch a lot yesterday.

We could have taken any number of combinations of the trails to get us back to the bottom. We chose the most difficult I think which also happened to be the shortest. The trail that got us to the bottom was the one with the ladder. We were met by someone coming up and he saw us reading the map and immediately asked if he could help us. Well, no. We’re just reading the map. I did ask him how technical and steep the trail was and he “suggested” we really would be better off taking the “easier” trail down. This one was a bit more difficult.

Officially my first ladder…on a trail.

We were royally insulted and determined to prove our hiking prowess and pushed on. The bottom half of the hike was no harder than the first half which isn’t to say it was an escalator or anything. But we did it and we survived and I LOVE technical hikes. They take forever (like four hours for five miles plus at least a half hour at the top to look at the view) but still…it takes time.

A milder section of the trail…my terrible camera. Don’t worry, replacing it this week!


This was at the top…

It was amazing and crazy and seriously a lot of work. I need a little more time to built up my fitness to tackle this kind of trail. I spent a lot of time gasping and stopping. Sean, meanwhile, was his usual self and marched on with no issues like he does this every weekend. I was fully marathon trained and he had no time to run or workout or anything and we headed out to hike the Appalachian Trail for a week thinking..I’m going to totally fly past him.

No. That did not happen. I had to stop and gasp consistently as he flew up the inclines and I watched him. It was so rude.
Yesterday was a total flashback. Jerk. He is so freaking awesome. He hiked really really reeaaallly slow just so I could keep up with him. It was sweet. And annoying.
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Sean took amazing photos but he forgets to share them with me so they are just for his own self I guess.

I don’t feel comfortable taking my really good camera while scrambling and such so I just take my phone and we keep it in the pack.
Getting a new phone is pretty damn important. I’m over these bad photos. I think they’re getting worse!
Michelle said she’d do the trail with me but who knows when that’s going to happen.

At the end of the day we treated ourselves to an amazing burger and sweet potato fries at Shine in Boulder. I die when I eat those burgers. They are so good. Totally worth it.

~~~~~

Takin’ it a little easy today after yesterday. I got zero sleep last night so I’m going to pick up groceries, make some appointments, run some errands and hopefully get a baby run in…if I’m up to it. As if I’m up to anything longer than a baby run!
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~~~~
Here’s what we’re NOT going to talk about today because we’re taking a news break. We’re all reading about it so we don’t need it here.
North Korea
China
The White House Easter egg hunt (eyeroll)
Sean Spicer
United Airlines
~~~~~
Nature of Love, Love of Nature

My favorite.
Run on…

Yoga nearly killed me.

  • I did about 45 minutes of Bob Harper’s yoga today and my whole body rebelled. It was not friendly. Just an ugly reminder that I haven’t worked out at all for two plus months and it’s going to take some serious work to bring myself back to where I was over a year ago. Hell, it’s going to take work to bring me back to where I was three months ago and that wasn’t really a great place but it was somewhere. Technically I haven’t been “officially cleared” by my doctor from my surgery, that should happen Wednesday but as my luck hasn’t been great in that arena I’m just being a rebel.
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  • I have an older cell phone that my kids fondly refer to it as “the brick” which is really rude if you don’t mind my saying. It’s small and slim and pretty and red and just what I love. Except it is older and doesn’t do as much as all the new fancy phones do and the problem with that is that it keeps fighting me when I try and post work stuff. So we did a factory reset and it remained stuck. We tweaked it a bit and fixed all the apps, dumped the ones I don’t use and I updated my wallpaper and BAM…new phone. Well, it feels like a new phone.
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  • After my workout I was pretty nauseous and sick so I grabbed a plain Greek yogurt with some PB2 for the protein to see if that helped me feel better. Well, no. I really really don’t like yogurt and I really don’t love peanut butter so it tasted truly awful. I think a normal person would really love it. I found a bottle of squeeze Agave Nectar at Target (good for you Target!) and put a half a teaspoon in that mixture and it saved it. It wasn’t much but it was just enough sweet to make it taste much better and yay me, I need more protein always.

    I cannot tell you how much I dislike yogurt and Peanut Butter. Yogurt in general is not great for me as a thyroid issue and a Celiac so I limit it but I make sure to eat the best version I can and the cleanest version I can, no added anything except what I put in it.

  • Anyone else find the United Airlines fiasco shocking and nightmarish? I almost wonder if the man was confused about why he was being asked to leave the flight and he was scared.  Whatever the reason, the entire situation was deplorable and I just don’t see how they can in any way justify any part of it and “stand by their employees” or their behavior. It’s quite shameful.
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    ~~~~
  • Yes! Sunday Yoga!:
    Run on…